GoulburnJonny Wilkinson (aka Rusty Blade) Is Back
February 6th 2007 12:57
What's the deal with Jonny "I'm a naff ponce because all I do is kick when Rugby is a running game and who cares if really I am a great all round rugby player, I'm still a pansy naff ponce because twas my boot that stole Bill from The Wallabies" Wilkinson?
Where has he been since 2003?
He's been out injured.
Oh sure...pull the other broken leg/arm/shoulder/groin (huh?).....I'm telling you now, he was put in storage.
It's Rugby World Cup year so out he comes from wherever he's beenstored hiding been, like the good little Stepford junior he is.
For those of you who don't know who Jonny "I'm a naff..." Wilkinson is, be thankful.
For those of you that do...my condolences.
Jonathan Peter Wilkinson is England's secret weapon.
He's the ponce responsible for the extra time drop goal that robbed us (sob...I don't want to talk about it) of the 2003 Rugby World Cup aka the William Webb Ellis Trophy aka Bill, and gave England it's first win.
He plays five-eighth and is despite what you may have heard, no he is not the world's best five-eighth.
Stephen Larkham is and Stephen Larkham has been injured many, many times (including a battle with cancer) but you don't see him running and hiding away like the big pansy naff ponce head Jonny boy is.
Jonny Wilkinson is also a robot.
Or he may be a clone.
Not sure whatlie theory I'm going with.
Anyway....coming soon to a store near you...
from www.sportal.com.au
Really? Well it would be surreal wouldn't it?
If you're a ponce clone robot that gets switched on every 4 years, then of course it's surreal.
This is all so wrong.
...and The Tosscar goes to....
I really don't care that this kid is brilliant and sweet and is articulate and polite and smart and gentle and kind and tough and brave and very easy on the eye and is made up of all the yummy things that rugby players are made of...
He's Jonny Wilkinson and he'll always be a pansy naff ponce.
....but I'll absolutely love him if England loses.
See?
I'm a good sport....
Where has he been since 2003?
He's been out injured.
Oh sure...pull the other broken leg/arm/shoulder/groin (huh?).....I'm telling you now, he was put in storage.
It's Rugby World Cup year so out he comes from wherever he's been
For those of you who don't know who Jonny "I'm a naff..." Wilkinson is, be thankful.
For those of you that do...my condolences.
Jonathan Peter Wilkinson is England's secret weapon.
He's the ponce responsible for the extra time drop goal that robbed us (sob...I don't want to talk about it) of the 2003 Rugby World Cup aka the William Webb Ellis Trophy aka Bill, and gave England it's first win.
He plays five-eighth and is despite what you may have heard, no he is not the world's best five-eighth.
Stephen Larkham is and Stephen Larkham has been injured many, many times (including a battle with cancer) but you don't see him running and hiding away like the big pansy naff ponce head Jonny boy is.
Jonny Wilkinson is also a robot.
Or he may be a clone.
Not sure what
Anyway....coming soon to a store near you...
from www.sportal.com.au
England World Cup star Jonny Wilkinson has admitted his long-awaited return to the international arena was a surreal experience.
If you're a ponce clone robot that gets switched on every 4 years, then of course it's surreal.
Having last played for England in 2003 after numerous injury complaints kept him sidelined, the first five-eighths signalled his return to top-flight rugby with a man-of-the-match performance against Scotland in the Six Nations at the weekend.
This is all so wrong.
"It feels strange - it's been three and a bit years since I've experienced the buzz of an international," Wilkinson told BBC Sport.
"I guess to be back after some of the feelings I've had over my injury periods feels like a bit of a dream."
"I guess to be back after some of the feelings I've had over my injury periods feels like a bit of a dream."
...and The Tosscar goes to....
I really don't care that this kid is brilliant and sweet and is articulate and polite and smart and gentle and kind and tough and brave and very easy on the eye and is made up of all the yummy things that rugby players are made of...
He's Jonny Wilkinson and he'll always be a pansy naff ponce.
....but I'll absolutely love him if England loses.
See?
I'm a good sport....
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Comment by David
In all honesty, this is the first Rugby Post of yours I've fully understood, because (and I don't like admitting this either) ... I watch every Rugby World Cup ... so I finally know who and what you're talking about ... (especially those last few moments of the last final ...
And the post itself? You have a divine wit.
It is pathetic though how you can't do one post without mentioning Stephen Larkham ... I'd even go as far as to say that if you did a post about women's lipstick, you'd probably title it ... 'Stephen Larkham does not wear lippy' ... *** And the entire post would be an exposition of why he doesn't .. and why you admire him so much for not being a "naff ponce" (I love that term) ...
(Just balancing out the compliments with a bit of piss-taking, so that head of yours doesn't swelll any further ... *** Because? If you ever have to update your blog-tag pic, only an eighth of an eyebrow will fit? *** ...
And it's always nice to discover another reason to detest the Poms besides their pathetic cricket team and the Barmy Army and the Royal Family ... (and those bloody corgis ... [The only thing I like about the British? They sent my ancestors out here by ship ... *
And in closing ... I hope the Wallabies put Wilkinson to the Sword this time ... (no more close shaves ... (get a bit of three day growth happening? ... (getting silly again .... better stop ...
David ...
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Finally.
The Truth.
Ahhh darlin'...ya cannae hide the jock in yer poetic genius soul...
...'Larkham and Lipstick; Made To Be Worn...'
Was that crass?
It was wasn't it?
Oh well.
And thank you so much for keeping me balanced David mah treasure chest bursting with the fibre of humility...
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
your lovely love and stuff in a boomerang.
Dusk
Comment by David
It's my arrogant humility that forces me to write:
So, the Larkham Full-Body Suit, huh? ... *** Marketing Genius ... Do you plan on franchising it? Or just making one prototype and keeping it for private, personal use??? ... *
David ...
Oh, and I canna hide anything in my jocks any more ... (Ther's no room ... Cos of the pair of AFL footy-socks I tuck into them to impress women in public ... ***
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Of course I can write a comment without referring to Stephen Larkham.
That's just silly to say I can't.
'...Made to be Worn'...like a smile...on lips...
The Sock In A Jock by Dr Screuss.
(sorry that's lame...am not feeling switched on...)
Comment by David
The reason I love your wit? ... Switched on or off? ...
Comments like this:
That's just silly to say I can't.
David ...