Oracle of Delphi
KC Hill
Denise Gabbard
Paladin
Craig HillRugby Explained: Part 3 (some) The Backs
February 9th 2007 01:43
Okay.
First a warning.
Please do not read this with an expectation that the name Stephen Larkham will appear only once or twice throughout the post.
You need to lower this expectation...and raise the the number.
As I have explained in my previous post, there are 15 players in a Rugby game...8 Forwards and the rest.
They're called The Backs (9 -15).
They exist because the Forwards allow them to.
By now we may have detected a slight bias towards the Forwards.
I am going to try and convert my usual style of 'explanatory' writing and keep this fairly straight. For one reason only.
Stephen Larkham is a Back.
That's his one flaw.
Without further ado...I give you The Backs.
The role of The Backs is to take all thehard work done ball won by the Forwards and score the points, by running with the ball, sometimes kicking and grounding the ball, usually accomplished by flying through the air and landing the on top of the ball in a controlled downward movement.
This has led to many injuries; knees, shoulders, groin...
Backs are usually smaller and more agile and faster than The Forwards but make no mistake, a small rugby player is still larger than the average human.
Rugby proportions are measured differently.
A fillet of steak is the whole cow.
Take, for instance...let me see..oh yeah, okay...Stephen Larkham.
He is considered 'small', lean and lanky but he could cause an eclipse and not just because I think the sun shines out of his as...tounding ability to know what will happen 5 phases away...
The man is lean and lanky like a DeTomaso Pantera is just a car.
When the Forwards are in a tight huddle known as the Scrum and fighting for the ball 'fed' into the scrum, this is done to get the ball out to the Scrumhalf (#9) who then usually passes it through to the fly half (# 10 and what Larkham is...position and perfection) who then controls how the game will proceed.
This is why the flyhalf is also called the playmaker or the pivot or the Larkham.
The backline scores tries by focussing on the tactical placement of players, creating holes in the opposition defence line....they usually do this by 'drawing' players to them...bless their sacrificial masochistic souls....and offloading the ball to a teammate who then goes on to hog the glory while the poor offloader wonders which bone got crushed this time and please, this is not a cue to insert a phallic innuendo.
Neither was that last statement.
# 9 - the Scrum Half (or half back because he's half back half forward)
Far as I'm concerned this position should be renamed The Gregan.
Scrum halves are the Forward-Back link; they provide the ball to the backs when the forwards are ready.
They are behind every scrum, maul, ruck or lineout to get the ball out and maintain movement. They are the ones who feed the ball into the scrum and collect it afterwards and then pass it on their genius flyhalf.
A scrum half is relatively small in comparison to his team mates but has the ability to react to situations very quickly like being able to side step a rampaging Forward pack.
The Forwards have grudging respect for the scrum-half because he tries hard and is not afraid to get dirty with the rest of the Forward pack.
# 10 - the Fly Half (or Larkham Is a God)
Also known as the playmaker, the pivot or five-eighths.
The Fly Half has the best vision, hands, kicking ability, and overall tactical decision making ability on the side, which is why Larkham is the consummate Flyhalf because he is simply brilliant and that's consummate not consume..ate...
Strong leadership skills are crucial for this position, as well as strong defensive skills and the ability to cope under pressure...because the number one aim of a Forward to to take out the fly half in as painful a manner as possible.
This is why it is crucial the fly half also be made of rubber.
The Centres:
# 12 - Inside Centre
# 13 - Outside Centre
These players are supposed to be deadly tacklers, with strong running instincts and good hands....they need to be able to break through opposition lines and pass the ball accurately.
The outside is typically the lighter, more agile of the two centres because they need to 'cut' through enemy lines, listen to what theLarkham fly half wants from them, draw as many opposing psycho Forwards and then get that ball out to the whingers. No that's not a typo.
The inside centre tends to be the larger of the two centres and is always in the thick of the defensive or attacking action.
It is to their advantage if they have some fly half skills because they usually get called upon to do fly half duties, if the fly half is at the bottom of a ruck or maul.
The centres are a great help to the Forwards because they usually make a mistake and allow the Forwards the joy and satisfaction of another bone crushing, earth moving scrum clash.
The Fullback and Wingers:
# 11 and # 14 - the left and right whingers and no that's not a typo.
# 15 - the Fullback
I'm going to borrow from an old post of mine, which was borrowed from another article.
This is not altogether true.
The whole point of the Winger is to score the try. A winger needs to run like the wind, fly like an eagle...and score.
They still whinge a lot though.
The Fullback is the last line of defence and needs to know how to tackle...to watch a fullback try to tackle an opposing Forward is like watching an ant push an elephant back. They need to bite but not literally as this is generally frowned upon.
Good tactical awareness and kicking skills are required as well as attacking skills, pace and open field running prowess.
Not much to ask at all.
This is the easiest position on the field.
Right. The Backs are done.
Coming up:
'Crouch. Hold. Engage. - 3 scrumptious words'
First a warning.
Please do not read this with an expectation that the name Stephen Larkham will appear only once or twice throughout the post.
You need to lower this expectation...and raise the the number.
As I have explained in my previous post, there are 15 players in a Rugby game...8 Forwards and the rest.
They're called The Backs (9 -15).
They exist because the Forwards allow them to.
By now we may have detected a slight bias towards the Forwards.
I am going to try and convert my usual style of 'explanatory' writing and keep this fairly straight. For one reason only.
Stephen Larkham is a Back.
That's his one flaw.
Without further ado...I give you The Backs.
The role of The Backs is to take all the
This has led to many injuries; knees, shoulders, groin...
Backs are usually smaller and more agile and faster than The Forwards but make no mistake, a small rugby player is still larger than the average human.
Rugby proportions are measured differently.
A fillet of steak is the whole cow.
Take, for instance...let me see..oh yeah, okay...Stephen Larkham.
He is considered 'small', lean and lanky but he could cause an eclipse and not just because I think the sun shines out of his as...tounding ability to know what will happen 5 phases away...
The man is lean and lanky like a DeTomaso Pantera is just a car.
When the Forwards are in a tight huddle known as the Scrum and fighting for the ball 'fed' into the scrum, this is done to get the ball out to the Scrumhalf (#9) who then usually passes it through to the fly half (# 10 and what Larkham is...position and perfection) who then controls how the game will proceed.
This is why the flyhalf is also called the playmaker or the pivot or the Larkham.
The backline scores tries by focussing on the tactical placement of players, creating holes in the opposition defence line....they usually do this by 'drawing' players to them...bless their sacrificial masochistic souls....and offloading the ball to a teammate who then goes on to hog the glory while the poor offloader wonders which bone got crushed this time and please, this is not a cue to insert a phallic innuendo.
Neither was that last statement.
# 9 - the Scrum Half (or half back because he's half back half forward)
Far as I'm concerned this position should be renamed The Gregan.
Scrum halves are the Forward-Back link; they provide the ball to the backs when the forwards are ready.
They are behind every scrum, maul, ruck or lineout to get the ball out and maintain movement. They are the ones who feed the ball into the scrum and collect it afterwards and then pass it on their genius flyhalf.
A scrum half is relatively small in comparison to his team mates but has the ability to react to situations very quickly like being able to side step a rampaging Forward pack.
The Forwards have grudging respect for the scrum-half because he tries hard and is not afraid to get dirty with the rest of the Forward pack.
# 10 - the Fly Half (or Larkham Is a God)
Also known as the playmaker, the pivot or five-eighths.
The Fly Half has the best vision, hands, kicking ability, and overall tactical decision making ability on the side, which is why Larkham is the consummate Flyhalf because he is simply brilliant and that's consummate not consume..ate...
Strong leadership skills are crucial for this position, as well as strong defensive skills and the ability to cope under pressure...because the number one aim of a Forward to to take out the fly half in as painful a manner as possible.
This is why it is crucial the fly half also be made of rubber.
The Centres:
# 12 - Inside Centre
# 13 - Outside Centre
These players are supposed to be deadly tacklers, with strong running instincts and good hands....they need to be able to break through opposition lines and pass the ball accurately.
The outside is typically the lighter, more agile of the two centres because they need to 'cut' through enemy lines, listen to what the
The inside centre tends to be the larger of the two centres and is always in the thick of the defensive or attacking action.
It is to their advantage if they have some fly half skills because they usually get called upon to do fly half duties, if the fly half is at the bottom of a ruck or maul.
The centres are a great help to the Forwards because they usually make a mistake and allow the Forwards the joy and satisfaction of another bone crushing, earth moving scrum clash.
The Fullback and Wingers:
# 11 and # 14 - the left and right whingers and no that's not a typo.
# 15 - the Fullback
I'm going to borrow from an old post of mine, which was borrowed from another article.
These guys may as well be from Mars.
They are allegedly fast with excellent striking ability. They are supposed to score lots of trys, catch the high ball, and counter attack with flair.
But the stark reality (well understood by the forwards) is that the fullback and wingers prance and preen more than the inside backs.
They don't get dirty and are always playing with their hair and pulling on their collars. In fact their sexual orientation has been called into question on numerous occasions. (and they like to throw tantrums and hissy fits)
They are allegedly fast with excellent striking ability. They are supposed to score lots of trys, catch the high ball, and counter attack with flair.
But the stark reality (well understood by the forwards) is that the fullback and wingers prance and preen more than the inside backs.
They don't get dirty and are always playing with their hair and pulling on their collars. In fact their sexual orientation has been called into question on numerous occasions. (and they like to throw tantrums and hissy fits)
This is not altogether true.
The whole point of the Winger is to score the try. A winger needs to run like the wind, fly like an eagle...and score.
They still whinge a lot though.
The Fullback is the last line of defence and needs to know how to tackle...to watch a fullback try to tackle an opposing Forward is like watching an ant push an elephant back. They need to bite but not literally as this is generally frowned upon.
Good tactical awareness and kicking skills are required as well as attacking skills, pace and open field running prowess.
Not much to ask at all.
This is the easiest position on the field.
Right. The Backs are done.
Coming up:
'Crouch. Hold. Engage. - 3 scrumptious words'
| 64 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
The content on this site is written and mediated by Craig Hill
Go to Craig Hill's home page for information about corporate training courses, university preparation courses and writing services available
Go to Craig Hill's home page for information about corporate training courses, university preparation courses and writing services available
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Just popped in from cleaning the bathroom for a quick cuppa and relaxing sit and must say, I really, really enjoyed this piece. I noticed that you comment about Steve Larkham a lot? Do you find him appealing? *giggling* or is that jiggling?*
I could see the game as you described it. Well written - as always.
Before I forget too,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
.. not sure of the day, exactly, but hope it's a special one.
*hugs*
L.i.l.l.a
Hope your friends arrange SL to "..fly" out of the cake!
Comment by ChrisB
Formula 1
The Social Centre
Great post!
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Kidding!
I know...it's terrible...my husband (who was a #1, a Forward, my Ultimate One) finds it terribly amusing.
My children are just over it.
And his name is fast reaching it's abuse-by date here too.
I'm happy you are enjoying this series Lilla because I had actually promised to write them for you way back in October 06...so you are one of the Orblers in my dedication...the first post, 'Rugby Explained...' dedicated to the ones "aflutter"...that's not just my darling AFL pals (David, Norm and KarenC) but you too...the butterfly blog tag pic...
Hope you're having a great day LL...
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Backwards???
Woah...them be fighting 'wards' my friend!!!
...sorry about the whole 'whinger' thing...me writing it and them being it!...seriously though...I am biased towards the Forwards because when I grow up (in my next life) I want to be one....because...oh God...I cannot get myself to admit this...the reality is...when I played...well...why don't you have a look at the arms in my banner pic.
Those are not the arms of a Forward.
Sob.
Thanks for coming by Chris.
DuskDevi