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Rugby Union - by Craig Hill

The Wallabies are preparing for Rugby World Cup War.
Or else they're in training for MI6...

Wallabies in Boot Camp: this is what all Refs would like to make Greegs do!
This is what all Refs would like to make Greegs do...for telling them what to do!


from The Australian

STEPHEN LARKHAM's sleight of hand has helped the Wallabies to countless Test match wins over the years, but early on Sunday morning all it got him was 20 minutes of push-ups in front of some highly amused teammates.

Larkham's crime?


No, not desperately trying to sneak in a laptop to read the latest Rucks and Rolls post about him Wallabies Rugby.

Trying to sneak a utility knife and some headache tablets into the Wallabies' pre-World Cup boot camp on North Stradbroke Island, just south of Brisbane.
Contraband was quickly identified after instructors performed a full search of each of the 27 players and their equipment early on Sunday morning.

Stephen Larkham at wallabies Boot Camp: giving Huxley a head ache...
Larkham's knee jerk reaction at having his utility knife taken away. Huxley's the jerk.


Also caught out were hooker Sean Hardman, flanker Rocky Elsom and back-up five-eighth Berrick Barnes, who won the prize for ingenuity after being caught with several chocolate bars stashed in the cuff of his beanie.

...wonder if the chocolate company will capitalise on this piece of marketing gold?

"Thankfully I wasn't one of those guys but it was quite amusing watching them go through the gear and taking contraband and the guys getting down and doing push-ups for trying to sneak things into the camp," joked towering lock Nathan Sharpe.

"I think the guys were just testing the limits to see what they could get away with and the answer is obviously not much."

Welcome to Camp Wallaby - a five-day military-style camp designed to take the players out of their comfort zone, away from their familiar surroundings and challenge them to work together to get through a series of tasks totally foreign to them in their lives as professional footballers.


With the World Cup only a month away, the players were promised an easier time...
Thoughts of an armchair ride quickly evaporated, however, when the barge carrying the group to North Stradbroke stopped 400m short of dry land and the squad was ordered to make its own way to shore.


That's right folks.

Strip. Then dip.

Damn. I would have liked to see that...

The use of local water police to monitor for sharks did little to ease the players' concerns about what was to come.

Other news reports say that nurses cleared everyone for hypothermia afterwards...but coach John Connolly, spared from the exercises as an official observer along with team manager Phil Thomson, had his concerns.
"George [Gregan] and [forwards coach] Michael Foley struggled," said Connolly. "Greegs almost turned white, it was that cold."

Gregan feeling a whiter shade of chocolate at Wallabies Boot Camp
Gregan feeling a whiter shade of chocolate at Wallabies Boot Camp


*Connolly is an observer but his assistants Foley, John Muggleton and Scott Johnson are participating. Has anyone seen Connolly lately? If anyone needs Boot Camp, it's him...

With the temperature dipping to minus 1 degree, players who managed to sleep out in the open on a nearby airfield woke feeling frostbitten....
Um...hello? Am I missing something? Is the World Cup being held in Antartica?

Dutifully facing the small media contingent that gathered near the shoreline at North Stradbroke yesterday morning, lock Nathan Sharpe could only laugh when asked about the positives he had taken from his experiences over the first 24 hours of the camp.

"I've had an hour-and-a-half of sleep. I have been swimming through the night and woke up with frostbite on my toes, so I'm not feeling real positive about anything at the moment," Sharpe said with a wry smile.

"It's definitely out of the ordinary for us. We're not really used to walking through the middle of the night and swimming through lakes in freezing temperatures, so it's not the typical regime for footballers.

"I think the hardest thing is not really knowing what's coming up. We came to this camp not having any idea of what was in store for us and we still don't. So we're pretty much living minute by minute and doing as we're told."

Two testing hikes through the rugged terrain ensured the group was well and truly ready for bed when the sleeping bags were rolled out at 8.30pm.

The same could not be said of their preparedness for a wake-up call just two hours later for another trek to the edge of a lake, which they swam across fully clothed and with packs in tow - a most unfortunate scenario for a number of the team who failed to adequately waterproof their belongings.


"I was just filthy that all my undies were wet and I think most of the boys were the same because our double-bagging skills weren't that good," winger Mark Gerrard said. "But it's just a good change-up.
Obviously I don't do this often ... walking up some sand dunes and jumping in the water at one in the morning naked, that is."

...oh.kay. Mind going crazy right now...

Other news reports cite Gerrard saying he is enjoying himself so far.

Gerrard also asked if he could hear Tuqiri tell him over and over again just how wonderful he (Tuqiri) is. You know? Just to further enhance his enjoyment.

Gregan at Wallabies Boot Camp: That's it...he's outta here...
Gregan trying to get away from Gerrard's Tuqiri request...


While taking some pleasure in seeing the discomfort of his players, Connolly was confident the exercise had merit as part of the final phase of the Wallabies' World Cup preparations.

"History shows that Australian sides have always had a great spirit and these camps of three or four or five days go a long way to building that," Connolly said.

"It's not meant to be easy.

"It's about everyone getting along and on the same page. We've got some very strong individuals in this side and this is all about developing the squad as a whole."


Hmmmm...Bloggers reBoot Camp anyone?


info excerpts courtesy of The Australian
images courtesy of The Brisbane Times, Fox Sports and Getty Images


***********

Please accept my apologies in advance for being unable to reply to comments.
I'm in Booty Camp.
No I don't really know what I mean by that.



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Well lookee here.
John O'Neill, who thinks the sun shines out of his massive ego, is back less than 2 months and already the Australian Rugby Union (icARUs) is getting its wings* burned..

*well Tuqiri is dark skinned...

***************************** **

Not only has it just been reported that the ARU looks to be facing a financial crisis of up to A$6million this year...but there seems to be trouble in Camp Wallaby.

The Wallabies trying to get away from the ARU


- Steve Austin, The 6 million Dollar Man, has inspired The Wallabies to run like the wind...and cut the losses.

Apparently several players are (privately..but obviously not too privately otherwise how would we know this?) voicing their concerns aka whinging, they will be involved in yet another training camp next week in Brisbane.

Some have said another camp next week is "overkill", especially as it will involve commando training to build "team morale".

It's Rugby Boot Camp.

...and I'm willing to bet that it's Tuqiri who is having a whinge voicing concern because he will be 'dry' for 3 days. 3. Whole. Days. And his idea of overkill is anything that involves actually doing some work.

The spin doctors, including perennial Skipper-ky Mortlock, are out in force assuaging sportsfans fears, saying there is "...tension yes but no division".

The tension (but no division) is because of the coaching staff.

Stories have come to light about the behind the scenes tantrums that happened at the John Eales medal award night when Defence Coach, John Muggleton spat the dummy (spat the not spat at...pick the dummy) because ARU President Paul McLean 'forgot' to mention him as one of Coach Connolly's assistants during his speech.

Muggleton, one of three assistant coaches with Scott Johnson and Michael Foley, later explained he felt his
work in 10 years with the Wallabies had been under-appreciated by the ARU hierarchy.

Mortlock (and Connolly) declared "the suggestions of division"
a non-issue
when the World Cup squad assembled for its first training camp in Sydney on Tuesday 31/07.

"All the players have the utmost confidence in our coaching staff," Mortlock said.
"We're blessed in Australia to have a great mix, especially in this Wallabies camp.

Ahhh men brother.

"You've got Knuckles (Connolly) being the head coach and quality assistant coaches under him who all have their own distinct job descriptions and they all work extremely well in that capacity and together the system works really well.

"Basically in this environment you want to get the best out of everyone and I think to do that you have to have an environment that's conducive to discussion - and maybe even robust discussion at times - in what is in the best interests of the team moving forward.

"I'd certainly prefer that environment than where you're surrounded by people who are constantly saying yes.

Obviously in Muggleton's case it's...yes sir, no sir...ulcer!!

"The coaching staff always have an open-door policy for players and coaches alike and this year has been great as far as the mood in the camp and that has been led by the coaching staff."

This is why Dorklock is Captain this year. He refuses to fall flat on his face. Metaphorically.

Stirling Mortlock (Wallaby Captain 2007) does his Superman thing
...damn...hope the ground is soft...


- Stirling Austin Mortlock. (that really is his name!)

Anyway...let's talk about the loss of six million dollar(s)... man oh man oh man....

I will admit, this has taken me by surprise.
DDH has been telling me all year that Rugby is in (financial) trouble in Australia...and that the ARC is just going to make matters worse.

...but because I am very Larkham tunnel visioned when it comes to Rugby...even when I'm wielding a sledge-hammer...I fail to see the Bigger Picture and the monetary facts. That the buck and the ruck, may stop here.

A loss of A$6million.

Many reasons have been cited for this revenue slump but to me... Lote Tuqiri is a loss of 6 million dollars.

Other than Lotta Tequilas, the other reasons cited are;
- a blow-out in expenditure
- a dramatic drop in Sydney Test attendances because of second-rate opponents
- rising costs
- discrepancies involving employee contracts (...that's gotta be about Lotta Tequilas, yes?)

I feel it's unfair to say that the "dramatic drop in attendance" is due to second rate opponents.
Firstly, these so called second rate opponents gave my Wallabies (yes. MY...) a run for our money...
Secondly...this is a World Cup year. Opponents are not going to take a risk at having their players injured by the Mighty Wallabies.
Thirdly...it being a World Cup year...it is expected that the revenue will not match the expenditure. The cost of sending our team to France plus paying for broadcast rights.

...AND...unfortunately, I believe Rugby is being marketed to the wrong Sydney demographic.

Yes I know that Rugby is thought of as a 'white collar' sport, elitist, private school boys club, blah, blah boring cliches.

I believe this came about because Rugby people know that You doesn't have a plural...

Anywayyy.

By demographic I don't mean age/wealth/location, etc. I mean...Community vs Society. The ARU is marketing to Sydney society. The event people. The people who attend the opening of a match box....

Yes, we get invited to corporate boxes but we rarely accept these because the people who attend these Rugby match events are not Rugby people.

The last time we accepted a corporate box invitation, we just looked around at all these total and utter fuckwits who had no idea and what's more, didn't care why they were there.

To them...It was just an excuse to drop trou names and flash asses cards..it was the scene to be seen at. It was An Event for the poseurs.

Rugby fans...true fans...can no longer afford to attend matches because of the ARU's inflated sense of self worth.
The ARU thinks that by inflating ticket prices to match the size of their egos, this will entice the SS because don't socialites think that the more expensive, the more exclusive therefore the more desirable?

The ARU justified the inflation by blaming the players. Completely forgetting of course, that they (the ARU) 'bought' leaguies and sold the soul of Rugby.

(A joke doing the junior Rugby rounds during the height of the league poaching era;
Wanna be a Wallaby? Play league.)


AND this is one of the many reasons why Rugby people hate the ARU and are boycotting test matches. It's not about the players.

Believe me when I say the Wallabies would play for nothing except for the Love of Rugby and Country....but they shouldn't HAVE to because they are the reason the ARU exists.

For a long, long, long time, the players got nothing. It was the bureaucrats who profited from the sweat off a Rugby Back and Forward.

Oh grrr...I could go on and on about this but I won't because this has already become War and Peace; The Rugby Years.

Epic story short. Sydneysiders stopped going to the matches because the media reports said they weren't worth it. The papparazzi wouldn't be there.

Sydney may be a Rugby town but this year...we're the ugly ruck-lings because of the Swans song. The papparazzi hangs out there.

This dramatic drop is the result of making Rugby inaccessible to the Rugby fans and Rugby people.

Plus...Sydneysiders are fair weather people. When the Waratahs wilt, they cut them down

Also worrying the ARU is the financial state of the NSW Rugby Union, which has seen its revenue drop alarmingly following a poor Super 14 season and the resultant turnover in staff.

*******************


As for the "high costs". The mice are squeaking to the press. What I want to know is why? What will this achieve other than dissent?

A high-ranking ARU official told the Herald last night that the union was "in a state of decay".

Several ARU delegates are also "deeply concerned" about the costs involved in running the Australian Rugby Championship, which begins next week, with officials convinced it will turn into "a financial nightmare".

That's great that they're deeply concerned BUT Club Rugby is wearing the brunt and the expense. I don't see these ARU delegates taking pay cuts and putting their money where their mouths are.

The ARC has already deeply divided the rugby community, with concerns that the competition, which will be held concurrently with the World Cup in France[1], will struggle to attract crowds, especially as it involves sides that have no history[2].

1....because if this comp is supposed to be about future Wallabies, why hold it when the selectors are all going to be in France?
2. Victoria does have a lot of Rugby history, just not recently. The fear is the AFL stranglehold.


Let me just make this very clear.

Yes...I do think the ARC could be a good thing and it's worth it as a bridge for aspiring Wallabies but why should Club Rugby...and therefore the junior feeder clubs and the GRASSROOTS people...be forced to pay for something they didn't want in the first place (because of the expense to their budgets and their comps) but the ARU decided it would be a blast?

Contrary to polular belief, Rugby Clubs coffers are not overflowing. They can barely afford to carry the cost of their own teams let alone fund national teams. And now...they're going to lose all their Club Rugby players.

One ARC team is expected to suffer at least a $1.7m loss in its first year.

The costs at another ARC side are already running at three times more than originally budgeted, and the team has yet to play a game.

Officials believe only two of the eight teams - the Canberra Vikings and Perth Spirit - have the potential to break even.

This has prompted enormous ructions within the Sydney club ranks, with one north-of-the-harbour first division team understood to be considering boycotting the Trevor Allan Cup, a club competition being held during August-September, in protest over losing so many players to the ARC..

Such is the "dissatisfaction with the ARC" among the game's grassroots that a committee has been formed, involving high-ranking NSW and Qld Club Rugby officials, who
are in the process of formulating an alternate club competition that would take over from the ARC


This competition is expected to cost a third of the ARC.

I don't know how. Maybe they're going to sell body organs on eBay. Or during halftime.



NEWS JUST IN:

from Rugby Heaven

THE Australian Rugby Union yesterday confirmed it would suffer a financial loss this season due to numerous factors, including a drop in Test crowd figures.

In an official statement, ARU chief executive John O'Neill said he would not confirm the size of the loss until the end of the year.

O'Neill did admit that the cost of running the Australian Rugby Championship would be "a factor in any 2007 loss figures, as is the unexpected rise in the Australian dollar against other currencies".

O'Neill explained that a substantial portion of the ARU's revenue revolved around broadcasting rights, negotiated in American dollars.

"The ARU will record a loss this year - that was not only expected but budgeted for in this Rugby World Cup year," O'Neill said. "However, the position has been exacerbated by other influences, including the Welsh and Springboks sending us second-string teams. While we are working hard at reducing costs and maximising revenue at the ARU, it is difficult in a World Cup year.

"We always do better financially in the three years when there is no World Cup and each nation's team is at full strength. The International Rugby Board is holding a special meeting in November to discuss the concept of an integrated season, with a view to stopping what happened this year. Of course, this year's budget is further impacted by the start-up costs of the Australian Rugby Championship."

O'Neill said there would be a review of the ARC after its completion. "I have been an advocate of an intermediate competition between club rugby and Super rugby for a long time," O'Neill said. "I have also said that the competition must be viable and sustainable and that we will review it at the end of the year.

"That does not mean it will be dismantled, nor does it mean it will not change."

Many clubs remain anti-ARC, with one complaint being that they will be without virtually all their talent for the Trevor Allan Cup - a club competition being run in August and September.




info courtesy of Rugby Heaven
images courtesy of BBC



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I know many of you have been extremely concerned about the State of Ankle...
(I'm sorry...what? What do you mean this hardly counts as relevant to world affairs? Hello? Rugby WORLD Cup... )

Me? Oh.
[cue: nonchalant hand wave]
Cool as deep fried ice-cream.

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God, looks down from (the game they play in) heaven... Rucks and Rolls.com (Image courtesy of Getty Images)


....but yes...Larkyum is fine. And preparing to John Rambo himself.

Yes sportsfans...it's 'First IV Blood' time...

excerpts from Fox Sports

The Wallabies are following in the bootsteps of the Australian cricket team and Iraqi National Police Force...no they're not carrying bats....

They're going to Boot Camp.

The squad will undergo a gruelling Survivor-like program put together by the same organisation which took Shane Warne and his teammates right out of their comfort zone before their triumphant series over England last summer.

Which means Warney boy got his mobile taken off him...Yes Shane...this scribe has spoken.

...and the Wallabies may not be going into a war zone, but they are going to war...make no mistake about it...

To prepare them...
they are facing some big sacrifices and hardships.

There will be no coffee machine for George Gregan, skipper Stirling Mortlock will have to do without his beloved iPod and the mobile may have to be surgically removed from the ear of coach John Connolly.

...Tuqiri will have to drink water, Huxley will be without his mirror, the Forwards will be forced to play Back positions and Larkham won't have me his chess set.

It's all cloak and dagger stuff, shrouded in mystery and any other cliche that can adequately describe not knowing what the f**k is going on.
The whole exercise is being run with
military precision.
Apparently...all the squad has been told, is
they will be picked up "from the mainland" at Ballymore some time on Sunday morning.

Five-eighth Steve Larkham didn't know what to expect over the following five days.
"A few boys have said that I am pretty smart getting this ankle injury," Larkham said.

"I'm certainly looking forward to it, anything where there is a challenge involved I enjoy that sort of stuff.
"It's just a matter of what they are going to put us through."

Larkham was heard saying to a teammate sotto voce, that if DuskDevi was going to be part of the Challenges, he would gla...nah...dash it...can't finish this..it's just too absurd....

All sorts or rumours have been flying around the squad about what will be inflicted upon them.

...there is no truth to the rumour that they'll be forced to read Rucks and Rolls posts...

"A lot of stuff has been thrown out there about sleep deprivation and food strikes so we'll wait and see what happens," Larkham said. "It's a bit exciting at the moment just to speculate what is going to happen."

Did someone say ambush?

BLP, the company responsible for this lunacy, has been "liaising" with Wallabies management for the past two months - including using individual player profiles - to put together a "specific program".

Individual player profiles eh?

Which means Larkham will be asked to solve complex mathematical equations while having to get 2 Rubik Cube's in perfect order within 30 seconds. Blindfolded.

Tuqiri will be asked to think of a letter betwen A and C.

It has also been tailored to ensure the players don't lose weight and the risk of injury is minimised.
"What we are trying to achieve is to put the guys together in situations which are a bit stressful," assistant Wallabies coach Michael Foley said.

Foley said while people perceive those camps to be physically grinding, that was not the focus.
"It is to actually challenge guys mentally and put them in situations where they have to resolve things together," Foley said.

"The hope is that shared hardship, which is more a mental rather than a physical thing, will be a good growing experience," he said.

"Having a bit of an insight into the camp I can't help but have a bit of a smile knowing what the boys are going to go through."

Sadistic bastard. No, Michael Foley did not contact me.



article courtesy of Fox Sports
image courtesy of Getty Images


************

I am currently unable to answer comments.

I am bushwalking...

Thank you for persevering reading.



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...it's okay. I'm okay. My husband's eardrums are okay. Now. And my children will eventually come out of hiding....

Oh...Stephen's okay too.

Stephen Larkham. The Thinker. (Rucks and Rolls.com)
Stephen Larkham pondering life without Rucks and Rolls Rugby


from Sportal

A training mishap involving Stephen Larkham sent shockwaves through the Wallabies camp on Tuesday with the veteran flyhalf unable to complete the team's afternoon session.

The Wallabies playmaker rolled his left ankle during a routine training drill and was subsequently carried off the field by team medical staff.

The 33-year-old admitted the injury was initially very painful but is confident of training with the side on Thursday.

"It's good, I just have to miss training today [Wednesday] and hopefully I'll be right for training tomorrow; it certainly pulled up pretty good this morning so pretty happy with that," Larkham said.

Everyone? You may breathe.

"(It was) just an accident, I was just trying to step through between Sharpey (lock Nathan Sharpe) and one of the other players in a little drill that we had and just went over on it; I think I actually went on the inside of it and couldn't continue after that."

...eek!

Larkham, who has been no stranger to injury throughout his career, admitted to a moment of 'minor panic' but said the mishap will have no affect on his World Cup preparations.

"I've got really loose ligaments in my ankles, if any ligaments at all, so I'm pretty prone to that happening and it's a minor injury as far as I'm concerned," Larkham said.

Well...as far as I'm concerned...but, in comparison to all his other injuries...yeah...it's a paper cut.

The 101-Test-veteran has his sights firmly set on his third and final World Cup campaign beginning next month and said it is vital the team maintains its momentum from their recent Tri Nations performances.

"Our plan for the World Cup has been to basically play with our best side through the Tri Nations to get a little bit of combination and a little bit of confidence and I think we've done that and it's a matter of continuing that now through to the World Cup," Larkham said.

"You don't want to take too much away from the (opening) game against Japan but realistically the game against Wales is the biggest of the pool matches for us and we need to build for that."

This time Wales will have their team at full strength so this will be a match to watch.

His name is Larkham. Stephen Larkham. Licensed to thrill (Rucks and Roll.com)


The Wallabies break camp on Thursday only to reassemble on Sunday for a five-day SAS style training camp, which Larkham...is looking forward to.

"I'm certainly looking forward to it, anything where there's a competition involved I certainly enjoy that sort of stuff, it's just a matter of what they're going to put us through … it's a bit exciting at the moment just to speculate as to what's going to happen," he said.

Larkham. Stephen Larkham. Double ohhhhhhhh...heaven.....


**************
info courtesy of Sportal
images courtesy of Rugby Heaven and Getty Images



**********

I am currently unable to answer comments because I am still recovering from having fainted upon hearing this.
The comments section isn't the only thing switched off.

Thank you for reading.




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...and not Rugby first graders either...

I thought this rather amusing. Disturbing but amusing.

Disturbing because they are adult men.
Amusing because it's about the All Blacks.

(Although...seriously..what did these guys expect would happen?)

Don't really have much to say...just thought I'd copy-post this news piece for your enjoyment.

...pity that naff pansy boy wasn't involved. I'd have so much to say then.

Did these All Blacks fall off their pedestal?


- "...don't fall of that pedestal now, you hear? You're a role model..."

from Rugby Heaven

Party boys feel hard done by
Jim Kayes
Monday, July 30, 2007

The All Blacks fined $NZ500 for a late night out in Auckland before the final Tri Nations test against Australia believe they were treated like schoolchildren by team management.

Six All Blacks - Piri Weepu, Troy Flavell, Rico Gear, John Schwalger, Conrad Smith and Ross Filipo - were out until 4am the day before the Bledisloe Cup decider at Eden Park.

They were dobbed in to coach Graham Henry when someone slipped a note under his door at the team's hotel.

Players told a reporter they were stunned at how seriously it was treated by management.

One said it was like being back at school when they were reprimanded by Henry, a former secondary school principal, and team manager Darren Shand. All six players are adults with Weepu and Schwalger the youngest at 23, while Flavell is 30, Gear 29 and Filipo 28.

Smith, 25, who is also a qualified lawyer, said the reaction to the players' excursion had been "puzzling", while Weepu denied the players had let their teammates down.

Shand had made that claim when he revealed the six players had been charged with misconduct under the players' collective agreement and fined.

Although no curfew was in place, Shand said midnight would be a respectable hour for the All Blacks to be tucked up in bed.

Weepu, whose omission from the World Cup squad has been linked, in part, to the night out in Auckland, said "not really" when asked if he believed he had let anyone down
.

info courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image courtesy of Subbuteo Artist


***************************
*Please accept my apologies in advance for being unable to answer comments immediately.
I'm on Mars right now gathering rock samples.
As the majority of my readers are non Orblers (and non commenters...what are you? Hollywood stars??), I'm sure this won't be a problem.
Thank you for reading.


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Following on from my Jones vs John post, it has been confirmed.

Former Wallabies coach, Eddie Jones will be helping the Springboks in their Rugby World Cup campaign.

...and although the man is free to do what he wants, because he is no longer affiliated with Australian Rugby...the scary thing is...Eddie knows a lot about Gregan and Larkham's tactical play and the secrets of our scrum.

Will Eddie be the one to put the Spring back in the Boks step?

Eddie Jones to divulge Wallabies secrets?
...and Stephen Larkham likes ****...


excerpts from Rugby Heaven

Jones to coach Boks at Cup
Rupert Guinness
Monday, July 30, 2007

Former Wallabies coach Eddie Jones expects to reach an agreement with the South African Rugby Union today that will see him take up a coaching role with the Springboks
...extending his current one-week consultancy tenure to three months to include the World Cup that starts on September 7.

Jones has already accepted a full-time coaching director's role at English club Saracens for four years, but he said his latest association with the Springboks came with their blessing.

It is expected that Jones will take over as Springboks technical director....
"I will be there for the start of the World Cup, but not for all of it."

Springboks coach Jake White, a good friend of Jones, told a South African newspaper that he did not want the former Australian coach for the inside information he could provide on the Wallabies.

"Sure, he can give us insight into his observations on any country and player and no one has more intimate knowledge of [George] Gregan and [Stephen] Larkham's technical game than Eddie, but that's not why I want him involved," White said.

Eeeeeeek.
...and who the hell is White kidding???
I mean hello? If Eddie Jones was my friend, I'd be grilling him about everything to do with Stephen Larkham. Everything.

"I want Eddie here and in Paris because of the perspective he gives us. This is about what he can do for the Boks and not what he can do in a possible World Cup Test against Australia."

As for Jones, he is unconcerned about the criticism levelled at him by Australian Rugby Union chief executive John O'Neill last week.

"I have basically finished coaching in Australia now. I have moved on. And this will be a coaching experience that will help me to be a better coach at Saracens, which is who I am employed by," Jones said.

As for the World Cup, he believes that the Springboks, Wallabies and All Blacks will all make the World Cup semi-finals. "It will be just a matter of which northern hemisphere side joins them," said Jones, who rates the Springboks highly.

"They are a very good side...
"They are really passionate about their rugby. They are committed, as most national sides are. The thing that stands out, and it is the same in New Zealand, is the rugby culture.

And what if Australia meets South Africa in the quarter-finals? "It would be interesting," said Jones, who then laughed at the prospect of daring to look across at the Wallabies coaching box.

"But it is a long time since I have been involved with the Wallabies. People forget that. The last time was 2005. The war settlement is pretty final, mate."

Valid point....one that was brought up by another Orbler and please forgive me, I do no know who you are, although I did comment on your post. If you are reading this, please claim your credit.

Yes, Eddie no longer has corporate ties with Australian Rugby/Wallabies and the man does need to work after all (but he's hardly a pauper) but...this is not about professional capabilities and trade secrets and putting food on tables. This is about National Loyalty. In a Rugby World Cup year.

I believe that Eddie, numbnut he may be, is at heart still and always will be, a passionate Wallabies supporter. The issues he has are with the ARU not with the Wallabies. Surely Eddie knows the difference between the two?

...BUT...there is cause for concern in Camp Wallaby.

Australian forwards coaches Michael Foley and Alec Evans yesterday voiced concerns about Jones's joining the Springboks just three months after quitting his Reds post.

As Queensland coach this season, Jones was privy to the work Foley and Evans put into the Reds' pack as part of the national tight-five program. It has given him inside knowledge of Wallabies scrummaging, lineout and mauling techniques.

Foley had issues with the timing of Jones's appointment.

"If it were me I would think it's too close, particularly in a World Cup year," he said. "I just think there were certain things that Eddie was privy to that he may not have been privy to if there was an understanding he may actually end up coaching a major international competitor."

But Evans took a subtle swipe at Jones's ability to pass on his insights. "The question, I suppose, is whether Eddie Jones has the ability to transfer any of that knowledge to the South Africans."

Ahhh. It always boils down to Eddie's ability.

...ponder this though.

What if Eddie is on a Top Secret information gathering /infiltrating enemy ranks Mission?

Jones, Eddie Jones. Rugby World Cup 2 0 0 7. Licensed to get Bill back.

And I'm done.



excerpts courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image courtesy of ABC


***************************
*Please accept my apologies in advance for being unable to answer any comments. I'm in a very bad place right now and I'm.............just messing with you!
I'm kidding. I'm just a bit snowed under and soon, literally.
As the majority of my readers are non Orblers (and non commenters...what are you? Hollywood stars??), I'm sure this won't be a problem.
Thank you for reading.


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Let it not be said that I do not post fair.

So....for every 200 posts I post/write about Stephen Demi-God Larkham The Wallabies, I will post one for the All Blacks and...feature one of their players.

Like...this person.


Dan Carter asking Heaven to make him Stephen Larkham (image courtesy of...as you can see... Planet Rugby)
Dan Carter asking Heaven to please, just this one time, make him Stephen Larkham. Dream on pansy.


I dedicate this post to my beautiful friend Cara...Orblers know her as Andrea

Richie McCaw and Dan Carter do the Time Warp (image courtesy of Getty Images)


- "Richie...it's just a jump to the left..."
- "Shut it pretty boy or this will be the Rucky Horror Picture Show..."


**************

After that match, which I will eventually get around to writing about...once hell freezes over...there has been much ado about nothing. aka Dan Carter

If John Eales is Nobody and Stephen Larkham is Heavenly Body....then Carter is Nothing...

It is said that he is the greatest player ever. Now that I've stopped laughing about it...no, wait...sorry...I haven't.

It's utter crap. Such crap that even New Zealand media is saying, and I quote
utter crap

Read on sportsfans.....

*************************

from Stuff NZ

Claims of greatness staked too soon
The Southland Times | Tuesday, 24 July 2007

The greatest player ever. That's the normally down-to-earth Robbie Deans' assessment of All Black first five-eighth Daniel Carter. Not even the greatest first five, but the greatest player, writes Joseph Romanos this week.

If it was the opinion of a journalist looking for a headline, or someone with no idea of rugby's history, it would be dismissed immediately, but Deans? His is one of the most famous names in All Black rugby – his great-uncle, Bob, was the player who did or didn't score a try in the famous match against Wales at Cardiff in 1905.

Robbie Deans was a record-breaking Canterbury fullback, a good All Black, and has become a superb coach who has built a fabulous record with the Crusaders.

He doesn't make outlandish claims and tends to err on the side of saying too little, but I can't go along with him about Carter.

There's no doubt Carter is a classy first five-eighth. I'm not sure he yet rates as highly as his Australian counterpart, Stephen Larkham, and it's questionable whether at the age of 25 he deserves to be ranked ahead even of former All Black first fives Grant Fox and Andrew Mehrtens.

He kicks superbly, runs strongly, understands the game and isn't afraid of the physical challenges. He is some player but then so were Barry John, Mark Ella, Naas Botha, Michael Lynagh, Rob Andrew, Hugo Porta and a host of other first fives.

And that's just first fives, not to mention all the other positions.

Carter is All Black No 1034. They haven't all been distinguished, of course, but lots of them have been.
To be a candidate for best ever requires another ingredient, a spark of genius, an ability to change the history or development of the game.

....WHICH IS WHY THIS TITLE BELONGS TO STEPHEN LARKHAM

Carter has not reached that level.

He made his Canterbury debut in 2002 and All Black debut in June 2003. Six months later he was part of the failed All Black World Cup campaign in Australia.

He has now played 41 tests and amassed 636 points, including 20 tries. Clearly he is on his way to a great record but he's not yet won a World Cup and recently there were mutterings about his form.

If he broke a leg tomorrow and never played again, would we remember him as the greatest ever? Not to my mind. I prefer to think of him as a work in progress and to leave such grand assessments until after he has retired, so there can be a bit of perspective in the judgment.

The person who wrote this is the GREATEST journalist ever. Nationality not withstanding.

...but wait...there's more.

Quite a bit more....

Dan Carter down under (image courtesy of Scoop NZ)
I'm your private dancer....


You may wish to read my post about;
"Why Dan Carter Will NEVER Be Stephen Larkham"
...which is when I first shared with you, dear readers, Dan Carter's Jockeytch...


Excerpt from NZ Herald

05/04/07

Rugby heart-throb Dan Carter has unlocked the secrets of his underwear drawer and revealed tantalising details of how he wears his smalls.

Heart throb??
"smalls". he he..small black...

Dan Carter keeping his cool with SA fans (image courtesy of Getty Images)


In what could be music to the ears of his female admirers, the All Blacks superstar has admitted he never goes "commando", has never worn women's underwear and his Jockeys don't chafe.

Superstar???

The first five-eighth revealed the private details at the launch...
...His near-naked image, a common sight in New Zealand, will appear on giant billboards across Europe and the UK in time for the Rugby World Cup in France in September.

But the pictures are more revealing than Carter himself. At yesterday's carefully orchestrated launch, media were told the first five-eighth would not answer questions about his personal life, rugby or the Rugby World Cup.

In a brief one-on-one interview, Carter agreed he also had neither the time nor the inclination to discuss, for example, the anti-smacking bill or the US presidential election race.

"No, " he said.

So the interview was to focus solely on the underpants, then. "Yes."

It's true then. Carter's brain is in his pants.

What makes good underwear, according to Carter, is comfort and "you can tell straight away" if they're good. He quickly points out that the new 3D range is "right up there, the best I've ever worn".

He owns 15 or 20 pairs. In fact, he owns only Jockey brand underwear. "Honestly" he insists.
Carter, who turned 26 in March, admits he is quite a shy person off the field, but says he is having fun as a model.

He is prepared for a fresh round of ribbing from mates when his billboards go global, but "it's all light-hearted and a bit of a laugh".

I'm laughing.
What a pathetic attempt this is to draw attention away from Stephen Larkham.
I had to look at this picture a few times....quite a few times... to see what's so special about the little naff pansy boy.

Nope. Can't see it.

In his desperate bid to draw attention away from Stephen Larkham....Dan Carter will bare his soul...but dayam...he sure does look good doing it!


Still can't see it.

Dan Carter is such a Jock(ey) (image courtesy of Scoop NZ)


Puh-lease. You call this a smile? Psshaw...

Dan Carter is NOT and never will be Stephen Larkham (image courtesy of Getty Images)


Hmmm...I can see something...

Stephen Larkham thanking Heaven for making him just...so...yum... (image courtesy of Getty Images)


....oh nooooooo....

Dan Carter trying his best to look like Stephen Larkham (image courtesy of Getty Images)


Ahhh...now I definitely see why Dan Carter is so special...

Stephn Larkham drives over roadkill Carter (image courtesy of ABC)


He's the ground beneath Stephen Larkham's feet!!!


*****************

No Kiwis were harmed in the making of this post.
...and I hope no one was expecting anything actually relevant....

info excerpts courtesy of NZ Herald and Stuff NZ
images courtesy of Planet Rugby, Scoop NZ , ABC and Getty Images




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Oh this is just too too funny....but I'm a bit upset that Eddie(ck) Jones would jump ship like this...I mean, who doesn't hate John O' (dickie) Neill?

...doesn't mean that now he's back to make everything about him again at the ARU, I'm going to switch allegiance.

I'm waiting 'til after the Rugby World Cup. Ahm orf tuh Scortluhnd...


John O'Neill (CEO of ARU) throws it down on former Wallabies Coach, Eddie Jones.


from Rugby Heaven

Eddie drafted to Boks' camp
Thursday, July 26, 2007

THE surprise appearance of former Australian coach Eddie Jones at Springboks training this week may work in the Wallabies' favour, says Australian Rugby Union boss John O'Neill.

South African coach Jake White convinced Jones, a friend, to spend this week with his team in Cape Town and be involved in their World Cup campaign.

"I found it a bit amusing," O'Neill said. "I am not sure whether Eddie is going to be able to offer any particularly useful insights, and I don't think that in any way it should alarm the Wallabies. It might help them."

O'Neill said Jones perhaps hadn't properly thought through his "very curious decision" to, among other things, "advise the Springboks on how to beat the Wallabies".

In O'Neill's just-released autobiography, It's Only a Game, he reveals that had he remained ARU chief after the 2003 World Cup, he would have recommended Jones be replaced as Australian coach and called for George Gregan to be replaced as Test captain.

There you have it.
The reasons why I loathe John O'Neill.

a) "it's just a game"??????

&%#$%

...and it is so telling that it's an autobiography...because to a blundering, frump dweeb like this, everything is just a game...

No sport. Only games.

b)he's a slimy toad who isn't worth the dirt that GG chooses not to walk on
(link provided to the post detailling why)

...will grudgingly admit that it's a pretty good sledge as far as sledging lesser evils go...did I mention that this was a grudgingly admitted...er...admission?

Hey...stranger things have happened.
I've bolded that All Black pansy flyhalf's name and written posts without once mentioning Stephen Larkham

Like this one.

Anyway...I won't be touching that book. Even if it was thrown at me.

This is the book one should read...

O'Neills Oughtto-biography. How not to overthrow Rugby (image courtesy of Stuffyoucanuse.com)


from stuffyoucanuse.com

Reselling Lemon Leaguies for Fun and Profit! (2003) Book ~ John O'Neill
Avg. Customer Rating: 4.5 /5

Are you a CEO who's made a rash investment?

Tried to buy yourself some "Grass-Roots Support (TM)" and a Rugby World Cup by signing up all-style, no-substance white elephants who are either over the hill, slow learners, ego-maniacs, or just simply not up to it?

Fed the lambs to the slaughter once too often and your fickle fairweather fan-base and shareholders starting to suspect you've made a BIG friggin' mistake? No dramas...Cut your losses, take the money and run!

That's just some of the advice you'll get from boofy 70's porno haired, possum-headed smooth-talker "Honest" John O'Neill in this best-selling self-help, motivational guide.


Usually ships in 24 hours

List Price: $19.98
Buy new: $17.98
Used & new from $9.75

Now that would be an open book.



info courtesy of Rugby Heaven
images courtesy of ABC
very amusing reading material courtesy of stuff-you-can-use
mildly amusing image caption courtesy of DuskDevi





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Yes I know, I know. A non Larkham Wallabies Rugby post.

Wonders will never cease...coming up soon, a Larkham-less post...and please enjoy your flight with Porcine Air...



One team I have a lot of respect for is the Japanese Rugby team (formerly known as the Cherry Blossoms, now Brave Blossoms)

Please read corresponding post on Rugby World Cup 2007 for news on Japan's Rugby World Cup Squad 07.

Japan Rugby Football Union (JRFU) logo (Rucks and Rolls)


Although the Japanese team is not considered a world leader in Rugby (they have suffered very hard losses against the "big names" but, have also enjoyed some great and brave wins), this team is the strongest Asian Rugby team and has been considered so for a long time.

Rugby Union in Japan is administered by the Japan Rugby Football Union which was founded in 1926.
Rugby was introduced to Japan in 1899.

from Wikipedia

The first recorded instance of rugby being played in Japan was in 1874, when British sailors staged a game in Yokohama.
The sport was introduced to students at Keio University in 1899 by Professor Edward Bramwell Clarke and Tanaka Ginnosuke.
Japan's first international took place on 31 January 1932 when a trade delegation from Canada brought a rugby union team. The Japanese won 9 - 8.

They have previously relied heavily on expatriate players to bolster their side but have built on their experience and have steadily begun to improve their world standing.

Japan is currently ranked 18th out of 95 Rugby playing countries.

Japan has participated in every Rugby World Cup. Unfortunately, they have only ever won one game at the tournament; against Zimbabwe in 1991.
In the fifth World Cup, RWC 2003 held in Australia, Japan coached by Shogo Mukai was hailed as the best of the so-called 'minnow' nations and left a lasting and delightful impression with its speedy play and sportsmanship, gaining many new Japanese and foreign fans in the process, but unfortunately the team still failed to win any games.

They have spirit and flair and a truly inspirational "never say die" attitude.

The Samurai Spirit.

...and Sumo wrestlers would make the best props. Could you imagine packing down in a scrum against them???

Japan (in red) v S Korea during the RWC 07 Asia Qualifier Match 25/11/06 (image courtesy of Getty Images)
Japan (in red) v S Korea during the RWC 07 Asia Qualifier Match 25/11/06


Japan competes annually in the Pacific Nations Cup* against Australia A, Fiji, the Junior All Blacks, Samoa and Tonga.

Japan's current coach is former All Black winger (considered one of the greatest AB wingers ever), John Kirwan.

Although the team is made up of many excellent players...and if I wasn't such a monocular Larkham Wallabies Rugby fan, I'd know more about them...there is one in particular who is in a class of his own.

Daisuke Ohata

Daisuke Ohata; Japanese Rugby Superstar


Daisuke Ohata is Japan's leading try-scorer AND the Japanese winger’s name is now written into the sport’s history books after he broke the try-scoring record of Australian legend David Campese in May 2006.

On May 14, 2006 Daisuke scored three tries for Japan against Georgia, in doing so breaking the world record for tries in test matches previously held by David Campese.


This amazing achievement happened at the Hanazono Stadium in Osaka which, fittingly, had been the city where Ohata was born 32 years ago.

That Ohata would break the record was never in doubt – it was a question of when the prolific wing would surpass Campese’s benchmark of 64 tries in 101 Tests, which had stood for more than a decade and remains an Australian record.

This fast-as-lightening winger exploded onto the international Rugby scene in the 1999 Hong Kong Sevens tournament where he was named most valuable player.

Since making his debut for Japan against Korea back in November 1996 (a momentous occasion...Ohata marked it with a hat-trick of tries at the 15th Asian Championship) Ohata has now scored 69 tries for his country in 58 matches.

Making Daisuke Ohata the world record holder for test match tries.

Ohata has been sidelined since January this year, due to an Achilles heel injury but has been named in Japan's Rugby World Cup squad...which is great news, not only for Japan but for World Rugby.

The Wallabies play their first world Cup match against Japan on September 8th.

I wish the Blossoms all the best...but...we know where my loyalty lies...



*********************

Japanese Readers, for further Rugby Union and Wallabies information, please visit:



*******************


* Pacific Nations Cup - an international Rugby Union competition, started in 2006 and originally known as the IRB Pacific 5 Nations until Australia A joined the party.
Teams:
Australia A, Fiji, Japan, Samoa, Tonga and the Junior All Blacks (New Zealand's second 15).





compiled with the help of bloggers pal Wiki
images courtesy of Getty Images and DOHA 2006


86
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...drum roll please...


Nathan Sharpe

Wallabies Lock (#4)

Wallabies lock Nathan Sharpe: The John Eales Medal Award recipient 2007 (image courtesy of ARU)
Wallabies lock Nathan Sharpe: The John Eales Medal Award recipient 2007 (image courtesy of ARU)


Good choice. And it is right that a Forward wins this award.

Not only is it named after one of the most Perfect Forward's to have ever existed in the history of Rugby (...no not me nor DDH...), but also because Forwards are the ones who do most of the hard work and hardly ever get recognition...positive recognition.

When the scrums are down, our Forwards get rucked harder. By the public.


from Fox Sports

Sharpe wins top Wallabies award
By Jim Morton
July 23, 2007

SHAVEN-headed lock Nathan Sharpe's all-round game and consistency has seen him scoop Australia's best-player award, which is named after his childhood hero.

Sharpe finished as runner-up to full back Chris Latham in 2006, but went one better this year to take out his first John Eales medal.

The 29-year-old Western Force skipper was a comfortable victor, polling 170 votes to win from No.8 Wycliff Palu (134) and prop Guy Shepherdson (131).

Sharpe started in all but one of the 11 Tests played over the voting period, missing only the June 9 Test against Fiji in Perth when he was rested.

The 3-2-1 votes that determine the John Eales medallist were taken from every member of the Wallabies' match 22 after every Test dating back to last year's Spring Tour.

Sharpe is the fifth forward to win Australian rugby's top honour and joins Latham, Jeremy Paul, David Lyons, Phil Waugh and George Smith as John Eales medallists.


Stirling Mortlock won Try of the Year for his linebreak and run that led to the match winning try (landed by Scott Staniforth) v the All Blacks in the first Bledisloe Match in Melbourne.

...please note...Mortlock was able to do this due to an incredible cut-out pass by the one, the only Stephen Larkham....and so what if Mortlock did have a brilliant run, cutting through Blacks defenders like a knife through hot butter. (huh?)...and escaping tackles, blah, blah boring...

...but what I will never understand is how Julian Huxley....as useful on a Rugby field as an fridge in a volcano...won the Rookie of the Year Award.

Huxley's only redeeming (player) quality is that he got/gets to stand near Larkham in the Brumbies and the Wallabies. And that's it.




excerpts courtesy of Fox Sports
image courtesy of ARU


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To Say I Am Devastated...

July 21st 2007 18:56
...is to say that a new day dawns everyday...however that is the attitude I am taking.

It's almost morning...my beautiful DDH and I got home about 15 minutes ago and I had very intention of collapsing into bed...but I'm here and DDH understands why so at least I don't feel bad about that.

I am not quite sober but you know how when you are not quite sober and if somone points that out you take umbrage and act all straight and proper?...well...that's how I'm typing so I dare you to find a typo or an error...the only error you will find is my vulnerability right now.

...I don't know why I am compelled to write something...maybe because I made a prediction and my ego has taken a battering...most probably because I feel the need to accept the loss in the name of good sportsmanship...a little bit because some of you are gloating that I was wrong and the All Blacks won....

...but although you annoy me because you're just so damn fucked in the head...you people don't really matter to me because the only reason you give a damn about the All Blacks is because I don't...and they do a cute little dance before each match....and to you I say...please. get. off. my. planet.

Mostly because I am truly devastated that we...my beloved Wallabies lost.

It was a terrible terrible night in Auckland. Paradise if you're a catchment drain.

I did not expect this. How could anyone expect this? We owned the first half despite being down 3 points going into half time...

Stephen Larkham, Matt Giteau & Chris Latham; Bledisloe TriNations dcider 2007 (image courtesy of Getty Images)


I don't know what was wrong with this beautiful Man...Stephen Larkham...he wasn't up to it last night. Unfortunately, when Stephen is off his game...it upsets the balance of the entire team. I can only hope he is not feeling completely shattered...this was his last Bledisloe....

Stephen did not run once.
All he did was kick and pass, he was definitely not right, quite fragile, his tackle rate was not as high as per normal rate and he made many many mistakes...but oh damn...even perfection has a bad flair day....

DDH says that it may very well come out in the next few days, that SL was not feeling 100% but because there is no one who can take his place in the instance that he is unwell...the pressure on him to perform is enormous and I'm afraid that most of you will never understand what this pressure feels like because you're talkers not doers...no scratch that...you're bloggers...not doers.

Oh man....I am so upset. I'll probably regret this in the morning. Or in the light of day because it's now very late...or very early...depending on your point of view...needless to say...at the Rugby Club dinner...most of us were...not happy. Didn't stop us from having a great time though....

Wow. I just stopped to read what I've typed so far. I'm impressed.
Not by my verbiage. Just the fact that I can think at all.


DDH being the ex Rugby player eternal Forward all round Ultimate Man, although not happy that we lost, takes it in his giant stride, part and parcel of competition...someone has to lose if someone is to win.... but I take a loss like this personally. I feel I have lost something...and I lost it not for myself but for everyone else.

I will write a match review but not now. This is not a match review of a Rugby match. This is me. Devastated. After a Wallabies match not won...

I will tell you that although we lost it in the second half, we were hard done by. The Ref... oh the Ref...the touch judges...ohhhhhh the touch judges...

The All Blacks were handed 13 points.

A try that should never have been awarded.
A penalty that should not have been given...for Mortlock's supposed 'high tackle'...yeah because everyones chest looks like their face...
...and the Blacks allowed to get away with their continuous off side play wheras we got penalised every time...and at times when we had no choice (like we couldn't roll away in a ruck).

I suppose you want to know the score....

All Blacks 26 - Wallabies priceless


I 'readied' this image yesterday (Friday)...I was so certain we would win...and I had originally captioned this image (in my mind);

Bledisloe & Tri Nations: Wallabies Wrapped Up
...well not quite but something along those lines....

Always draped in Wallabies loyalty (image © DuskDevi 2007)


...the Wallabies may not have won this match but...they will always be wonderful to me...

Will provide an objective match review on Monday.
Will also say something nice about Dan Carter.

Yes that was a flying pig.....




images courtesy of Getty Images and DuskDevi

111
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Just Won More Thing...

July 21st 2007 00:00
Rugby
Rucks and Rolls!

DuskDevi is a grrRugby Woman (image © Rucks and Rolls 2007)


...it's in your hands...left in touch with what is right...


Stephen Larkham & George Gregan: 2 legends. Too good. (image courtesy of ARU)
...2 legends...too good...


Who do you wanna be?

A Walla Wallaby!


Wallabies v Fiji in Perth 09/06/07 (image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au)


Who's it gonna be?

The Walla Wallabies!

It's all about the Green & Gold...Go the Wallabies!


Swing High Sweet Bledisloe...we're coming forth to carry you home...

The Bledisloe Cup belongs to The Wallabies!


...the Tri Nations belongs to One nation...OUR nation...

The Tri Nations Trophy belongs to Our nation!


That's it. I'm done.

Oh...one more thing....yeah...you know it...

Go
The
Wallabies!!







images courtesy of ARU, Sportal and DuskDevi


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Wallabies v All Blacks. Bledisloe & Tri Nations 2007 - The Decider match!
The Decider!


Venue & kick-off time:
Eden Park, Auckland
5.35pm (AEST), 7.35pm (NZT)

Last time:
June 30, 2007 Wallabies 20-15 All Blacks
(link provided for match review)

Telecast Times:

LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 5.00pm AEST.

Delay in Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time).

LIVE on Fox Sports 2 from 5.00pm AEST.

**************

This is it.

This is The Decider.

The Wallabies and the All Blacks are level on 9 points with the All Blacks ranked first, due to some stupid statistical equation that barely makes sense to me so I won't bore you with those details.

What is very clear is the level of confidence The Wallabies have after winning their last match, against the Springboks, and after winning what many thought was an un-winnable (is that a word?) match against the Blacks in Melbourne.

We're talking...through the roof...and it's on fire. Their confidence, not the roof.

The Wallabies with the Mandela Plate and oh look there's Larkham...yum... 07/07/07


- The Wallabies with the Mandela Plate, after their Tri Nations match against the Springboks. Look, there's Larkyum! (image courtesy of Getty Images)

....BUT...we must not get comfortable and complacent.

The Wallabies may have achieved a remarkable feat by coming back from behind to win their last 2 matches (and even their first test match against Wales - link provided and that was a damn good post!) but we cannot afford to give the All Blacks any leeway.

We haven't held the Bledisloe and Tri Nations trophies since 2001.

We are on their territory...and we have not beaten the All Blacks in Eden Park for 21 years. AND the All Blacks are hurting.

We need to win this match not because the All Blacks are under par but because we have no equal.

We? Yes. We.
When The Wallabies play they play for me, for you, for Australia.

This will be the last time that the Wallabies meet the All Blacks before the World Cup. We need to get the knife in now. We've already made a puncture wound....all that's left is to twist and shove it in further in September....

Game on.


***************

All Blacks:

The All Blacks will need their haka to motivate them against The Mighty Wallabies.


Welll...the Blacks have been rucked and rolled and they're feeling fragile...but this is why and the only time, they should not be underestimated.
When they're playing their best game, that's when they should be overestimated because they believe their own hype.

They didn't play as well as they should have against the Boks last week and almost gave it away but (unfortunately) pulled it together to eventually humiliate the valiant not quite Boks Boks.

....and of course they are on home ground and Kiwi supporters are louder than Australian supporters even when they're sitting in one of our stadiums!

They have made a few changes to their backline, which means that Dan Carter will be wearing a different shade of lipstick.

Captain McCaw will be dangerous as always...the cheating bastard.

Joke!...and I'm sorry I haven't said anything about this. Apparently McCaw was so good against the Boks last week that there has been all manner of mayhem surrounding his ability. The Boks accused him of "cheating" and the Ref for being "in awe" of McCaw.

Hey, that rhymes. Cool.

Look...McCaw may not be a Wallaby but he's still one of the best and to accuse him of cheating is like accusing Larkham of having an unfair advantage because he's brilliant and beautiful and gorgeous and amazing and...

Oh.kay. Ummm...who else? Who else?...obviously Robinson (#5) was impressive because he's earned the spot ahead of regular Troy Flavell.
Hayman and Splinter Dick will be their usual 'scrumpaging' selves.


The Forwards:
- some of the best Forwards in the business. Very scary pack but an almost identical pack to the one that got whupped by our boys. I am praying that wasn't a fluke because there is not one player here I can fault.

Other than the fact that they're All Blacks.

1. Tony Woodcock aka Splinter Dick, 2. Anton Oliver, 3. Carl Hayman, 4. Chris Jack, 5. Keith Robinson, 6. Jerry Collins, 7. Richie McCaw (Captain), 8. Rodney So'oialo

The Backs:
- yeah whatever. Pansies the whole bunch of them.
Please note that the little pansy boy wannabe 10 is begrudgingly bolded and only because I feel sorry for the little naff ponce wiener because try as he might he will never be Larkham

9. Byron Kelleher, 10. Dan Carter, 11. Josevata Rokocoko, 12. Luke McAlister, 13. Isaia Toeava, 14. Doug Howlett, 15. Mils Muliaina.

Reserves:
16. Keven Mealamu, 17. Neemia Tialata, 18. Reuben Thorne, 19. Chris Masoe, 20. Brendon Leonard, 21. Aaron Mauger, 22. Nick Evans

Oh f**k. This is a scary team.

***************************** ********

The Wallabies:

The Wallabies celebrate being Wallabies! Wouldn't you?


Ahhh my beloved Wallabies...they're just perfect...see? Even the Ref is telling the Boks he can't rise up to their level...

Well...no. They're not. Die hard tunnel visioned fanatic I may be but I can't see perfection without knowing the faults.

There has been a lot of kerfuffle in the Wallabies camp...and whereas the Rugby media are all going "woe", I'm going "wow!".

Gene Fairbanks did everyone a favour by putting Huxley where he needed to be. Out.
...and Lyons has not been on form.
(links provided to these posts)

...but is Chris Latham ready? Coach Connolly has made one wise decision, and only because he couldn't stand Tim Horan's whiny voice, by putting Latham on the bench and starting Adam Ashley-Cooper.....who is just marvellous.
Of course he is. He's a Brumby.

Ashley-Cooper's versatility makes him a great selection and he's hungry...he looks for that ball, he doesn't wait for it to come to him and he listens to what the Masters (Larkham and Gregan) say on field.
This young man understands the fundamentals of Rugby. It's a team sport. Individual brilliance is for the good of all not for the solo glory....something which Latham has never understood, despite his brilliance on field.

I guess we'll see if Latham is ready. If you hear a snap followed by a crackle and pop... that's no cereal, that's serious shit for Latho.

I'm also very happy to see Hoiles where he should have been all along (#8) and Chisholm back on the team.

Alas...Connolly did not take up Jeremy Paul's generous offer and I hope that our lack of an experienced front row doesn't bite us too hard.
Don't give a damn how hard it bites Connolly's lard ass.


The Forwards:
- oh boy...ex all Blacks have already come out and started the psyche-out warfare. They say our Forwards are just not up to it and our front row is certainly no match against 3 of the world's best...but...you never know...Pudding (Dunning) might trip at the right times and save the day.
Smith is on fire and aiming for another John Eales Medal, which is always good incentive (but never his motive).

1. Matt Dunning, 2. Stephen Moore, 3. Guy Shepherdson, 4. Nathan Sharpe, 5. Dan Vickerman, 6. Rocky Elsom, 7. George Smith (vc), 8. Stephen Hoiles

The Backs:
- Believe it or not sportsfans...I, DieHard Believer that the Lower The Number the Better The Man...actually believe it will be our magnificent Backline that will win this match for us.

Am a little concerned at the unproven wings (#s 11 & 14) and fullback (#15) combination but I'm sure under the direction of their world class halves and centres pairings, they'll be okay.

9. George Gregan, 10. Stephen Larkham, 11. Drew Mitchell, 12. Matt Giteau, 13. Stirling Mortlock (c), 14. Mark Gerrard, 15. Adam Ashley-Cooper.

Reserves:

16. Adam Freier, 17. Al Baxter, 18. Hugh McMeniman, 19. Mark Chisholm, 20. Phil Waugh (vc), 21. Scott Staniforth, 22. Chris Latham (maybe)

*********************

Well...that's it.

May I remind you all that this is STEPHEN LARKHAM'S and GEORGE GREGAN'S last Bledisloe / Tri Nations and...I can't go on...

Very difficult to predict a result. Both teams have more than usual incentive and reason.
I think it will be a close one. 3-5 points. A kick will win it. For us.

I don't want the All Blacks to not play well...I want us to win because when it comes to Rugby, no one does it better than...

Larkham....Gregan...and The Wallabies!!

Go You Good Thing!!!




Please Note:
I will do my best to post the results of this match as soon as possible (Victorian, SA and WA readers, please ignore this potential post)...however (DDH and) I will be attending our Rugby Club's annual Bledisloe Dinner and posting the result will depend upon 3 factors:

1, the availability of a computer (because hello? who takes a laptop to dinner?)
2. My sobriety (lack of...which hasn't stopped me before)
3. the result



images courtesy of Getty Images , Perth Now and Rugby Heaven



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All Blacks. Feeling A Bit Grey.

July 19th 2007 21:20
Well well well...looks like the All Blacks have turned a whiter shade of male...them boys be runnin' scared people.

Yay-yah.

Eden Park: the site of the Bledisloe/Tri Nations decider


- the final match of the Tri Nations 2005: Wallabies v All Blacks at Eden Park, Auckland.

Even the fact of 'fighting' the Wallabies on home turf (Eden Park in Auckland above), in what will be the last time they meet before the World Cup, hasn't filled the All Blacks with their usual smugness.

The Wallabies have "identified" Saturday's decider match
as a golden opportunity to inflict a huge psychological blow on the All Blacks.

The Wallabies meet the the All Blacks knowing full well that a victory will not only secure their first Bledisloe / Tri Nations double win since...eek...2001 but will compound the insecurity and self destructive doubt the All Blacks are already feeling, following their shock (not to me) defeat 3 weeks ago.

This was only their second loss in 25 tests.

The All Blacks are notorious for choking during World Cup years. This year, like in 2003, they were ranked #1 and on their way to Rugby glory. *Bill is one trophy that has eluded their grasp...and Bill is really the only trophy that matters...

This year, like the semi final 2003, the Wallabies simply out thought and out classed the All Blacks when it mattered....and leading that process was Gorgeous Yummy Man Wallabies legendary flyhalf Stephen Larkham.

Stephen Larkham will mess with your mind if you're an All Black. Or DuskDevi...


Yummy Stephen says;
The loss over here has probably damaged their psyche already, particularly in a World Cup year....They've probably got doubts in a World Cup year anyway with the way the last three World Cups have gone
[ouch...nass-tee. nice]

"So I think we've already put a bit of doubt in their mind, but (another win) would hurt them even more,


It it looks like a duck and walks like a duck...it must be an All Black that has had his ass kicked. Hard.

Read on...


excerpt courtesy of Rugby Heaven:


THE All Blacks are so edgy about the Wallabies beating them on Saturday night that they wheeled out the Bledisloe Cup for a show and tell yesterday in the hope it would motivate the troops.

All Blacks players last night explained the fear factor of losing the cup for the first time since 2002 weighed heavily on their minds, especially after senior identities lectured them on how important this piece of silverware was for the wellbeing of their country.

All Blacks fullback Mils Muliaina said the cup was on its way to the New Zealand team hotel in Auckland to take pride of place at a players' meeting, where the emphasis would be on the power and glory surrounding the trophy.

After being presented by the New Zealand Governor-General Lord Bledisloe, otherwise known as "Chattering Charlie" Bathurst, in 1931 as a symbol of trans-Tasman rugby supremacy, the cup was lost for some years, rediscovered in a Melbourne cellar and is now treated as a sporting holy grail.

With the cup next to them, former All Blacks skipper, coach and now Test selector Sir Brian Lochore, along with senior players Anton Oliver, Aaron Mauger and Richie McCaw, told the squad that keeping the cup was the best way to destabilise the Wallabies and make them feel second-rate.

"The older heads have already spoken about how long it took to get the Bledisloe Cup, and those dying moments when they've lost it," Muliaina said yesterday.

It was repeatedly stressed at the meeting that even though the All Blacks have held the cup for five seasons, Australia had a stranglehold on it from 1998 until 2003.

...and it's our time again. We've got one hand on that cup but we all know that in Rugby... you need both hands on the ball...

Go the Wallabies!!



*Bill - The William Web Ellis Cup - the Rugby World Cup Trophy


Excerpt courtesy of Rugby Heaven
Yummy Man's quote courtesy of Perth Now
Eden Park image courtesy of bloggers pal Wiki
Yummy Man's image courtesy of Mr and Mrs Larkham






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I swear to you it just did. Okay, so it wasn't the Wallabies selectors...but that's not what I said...

I was alerted to this* by a colleague who thinks that everything to do with Rugby has got to do with Larkham.
...and he's right (and Dusk Devi has taught him well)...but it's not always about me him...and actually this is fairly serious and a bit of a blow.
Not as major as other media types are making out but still bad enough to make one think, we may not thrash the All Blacks this weekend.

We'll just whip their asses hard.**

***************

David Lyons, Wallabies #8 and the 2004 recepient of the John Eales Medal Award has been ruled out of this Saturday's Bledisloe Cup clash and Tri Nations decider because of deep vein thrombosis aka a blood clot in his left calf muscle.

David Lyons receiving his John Eales Medal from the Man himself (2004)
David Lyons receiving his John Eales Medal Award from the Man himself in 2004 (image courtesy of RUPA)


from The International Herald Tribune:

Australia team doctor Martin Raftery diagnosed a blood clot in Lyons' left calf when the backrower experienced swelling following the Wallabies' mornings training session Wednesday.

"David had experienced some minor swelling in the calf at training earlier in the week but it hadn't settled down as we'd hoped it would," said Raftery.

Raftery said while all cases of DVT must be treated seriously, the position of the clot below Lyons' knee made his case less threatening than if had been higher in the leg.

...which I for one, am very happy to hear/read.

So where does this leave The Wallabies?

Lyons' place in the run on squad for Saturday's match will be taken by Stephen Hoiles, who was originally named on the reserves bench and Hoiles' place on the bench has been filled by (traveling reserve)* Mark Chisholm.

*this means that he was going with the squad anyway even though he wasn't named...so basically a reserves reserve.

Now, even though David Lyons is a good and usually reliable player, I don't think he's played to full potential this season so I don't quite understand his inclusion in the first place.

David Lyons and Stephen Larkham
Yes that is Larkyum....sigh...oh and David Lyons...


Stephen Hoiles has more than proved his worth in the last few matches...he doesn't just step up to the plate and raise the bar and any other cliche...he makes the #8 position his own.
Opponents are fooled by his lack of Forward size (he's only 98kg 190cm) and underestimate his ability to not give a shit.

As for Mark Chisholm....for the life of me I do not understand what else Chisholm has to do to prove to Connolly that there is no one better.

Connolly is such a bitch.

(By the way...Hoiles and Chisholm are both Brumbies)

from Rugby Heaven

Wallabies coach John Connolly has opted to promote Stephen Hoiles from the bench for another start at No.8 after he impressed in that role in the win over South Africa in Sydney.

Opted?? He had a choice?? Puh-lease...

Mark Chisholm has been called onto the bench.

It's another blow for the Wallabies who lost fullback Julian Huxley earlier in the week to a thigh cork suffered when tackled by Super 14 teammate Gene Fairbanks at a function after the Brumbies awards on Saturday night.

Thigh cork?? Isn't that what a Scotsman says when asked "how long?"....

Aneewayyy...it's interesting that the players who (I feel) are not worthy are freaking themselves out and getting injured.
As glad as I am to know that Lyons will be okay (and once Huxley gets over the humiliation, he'll be fine) I do think that we will have the best team possible on the paddock on Saturday night.

**Stay tuned for the Wallabies v All Blacks match preview...


Go The Wallabies!!!






*(and quite coincidentally Chic Critique commented on this too on this post!)


excerpts courtesy of The International Herald Tribune and Rugby Heaven
images courtesy of RUPA and (I kid you not) Taipei Times


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The John Eales Medal Award

July 18th 2007 22:30
The 30-man Wallabies Squad for the Rugby World Cup will be announced in Brisbane on Monday night, July 23rd during the John Eales Medal Awards Dinner.

The medal is named after John Eales (well duh...), who is, without a doubt, the most successful Captain in the history of Australian Rugby.

John Eales (Wallabies Captain) hoisting Bill RWC 1999
John Eales aka Nobody (because Nobody's perfect) hoisting Bill at Rugby World Cup 99


The Australian Rugby Union (ARU) and The Rugby Union Players' Association (RUPA) launched this prestigious award in 2002 to honour the game's best players, as voted by the players themselves and is a recognition of outstanding performances on and off the field.

Voting for the John Eales Medal is tallied after each Test Match, with each Wallaby player awarding points on a 3-2-1 basis.

Winners:

Chris Latham - 2006


Chris latham: winner of the John Eales Medal 2006


Jeremy Paul - 2005


Jeremy Paul: winner of the John Eales Medal 2005


David Lyons - 2004


Phil Waugh - 2003




As of yet I am not aware who the nominees are but it would be nice to see a player like Rocky Elsom or Mark Chisholm get it. These 2 have been consistent and reliable throught the Super 14 series as well as the international test season.

RUPA Chief Executive Tony Dempsey says;
This is the ultimate award. To be voted the best in your country by your own peers is the highest honour a player can hope to aspire to.
Naming this award after Australia's most successful captain ever is fully endorsed by the Players.
This has become one of the most sought after and coveted awards in Australian sport.

This may sound like a load of platitudinal crap...but it is true.

This is the first time that the John Eales Medal dinner has been used as "the launch point" for such an announcement....the World Cup squad that will leave for Europe late next month....and this is only 2 nights after the much anticipated Tri Nations and Bledisloe Cup decider against the All Blacks on Saturday night at Eden Park in Auckland.

The players will definitely be in a mood to party!!
...or drown...but we'll stay on the upside right?...

ARU CEO and resident wanker, John O'Neill says;

“It is appropriate that the announcement of the Wallabies Squad to compete for the Web Ellis Trophy, International Rugby’s highest honour is held on the same night as the John Eales Medal, named after our last World Cup-winning captain

“Its equally as appropriate we return to Brisbane, John’s stomping ground and one of Australian Rugby’s heartlands,” he said.


John Eales is from Brisbane but now resides in Sydney with his wife and 3 children.

John and Lara Eales arriving at the John Eales Medal dinner in 2006
John and Lara Eales arriving at last year's award dinner

John is about 6'6" and his wife is just tiny!


The dinner will be held at the Brisbane Exhibition and Convention Centre.
It will...
...bring together the nation’s corporate heavyweights, the cream of Australian Rugby talent and the country’s Rugby writing and reporting media.

Hello? Still waiting....

The Awards night will also see the induction of the latest members of the Wallaby Hall of Fame, three undisputed greats of the game.

Stephen Larkham, George Gregan, DuskDevi

(my blog. my fantasy.)

The black tie affair on Monday evening will also feature fitting farewells to retiring Wallaby greats; Brendan Cannon, Ben Tune, Jeremy Paul, Stephen Larkham and George Gregan.

...I am willing to bet that Jeremy Paul may have a prior engagement....

Tickets for Monday night’s gala event are available through the ARU on
1800 619 181 or hospitality@rugby.com.au
Tickets are $250 per seat or $2500 per corporate table of 10.

No. No typos. No extra zero's....so...any takers?



excerpts courtesy of ARU
images courtesy of Fox Sports, Sports Illustrated and RUPA





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George Gregan: The Comeback King

July 18th 2007 14:49
Ahhh George...he definitely is the Comeback King...in more ways than one...and the All Blacks are shaking in their studded boots...and I hate that he will soon be the Gonehalfback King....

George Gregan: King of the Sledge-ungle!
George Gregan: fearless warrior and King of the Sledge-ungle!



from Stuff (NZ)

Gregan out to have last word again
MIDWEEK MAUL - By JIM KAYES -
The Dominion Post | Wednesday, 18 July 2007

George Gregan is far too polite and polished to ever admit it, but the Wallabies halfback is having the last laugh.

No he's not.
...he's just smiling in that this-too-shall-pass way of his...

For the past two or three years the Sydney media have called for Gregan to be dumped from the Wallabies.

They felt he had lost his punch. That he crabbed across the field too much, was a passer but never a runner, and as a result didn't threaten the defence.

The criticism was often valid, but no one was able to provide the name of the bloke who would play halfback for Australia ahead of Gregan.

Coach John Connolly thought he knew when he used Matt Giteau there against Wales in June, but it was soon apparent Giteau's best place is in the midfield.

Comeback #1:

So Gregan is back and the pesky tormentor of the All Blacks and their fans will be at the World Cup – possibly even as Wallabies skipper.

Gregan has a special link to the All Blacks since he burst into our lounge rooms with THAT tackle on Jeff Wilson in 1994.



Comeback #2:

He conjured one of the greatest sledges when he strode through the All Blacks ruck in the dying minutes of Australia's 22-10 World Cup semifinal victory in 2003 reminding them it would be "four more years, boys" till they had a chance to win the World Cup again.

Watch the Sledge Hammer in action here...you can't hear him but you don't have to be a master lip reader to see him!



...And he will be at Eden Park again on Saturday in his final Bledisloe Cup test.

With Australia one-up in the two-test series Gregan has the chance to bookmark that part of his career with a win again.

The All Blacks are $1.20 favourites with Australia paying $4.20, but given Gregan's remarkable career, would you bet against him?


Well would ya...punk?

Gregan Rucks and Rolls!!


Go The Wallabies!!







excerpt courtesy of Stuff
image courtesy of Insurance Broadcasting
George Gregan pats a rare King Cheetah cub in an enclosure at the National Zoo and Aquarium in Canberra April 10, 2006.
The un-named, 10-month-old King Cheetah, which made it's debut appearance Monday, is one of about 20 in the world and has taken up residence in the zoo after being bred in South Africa.
10 Apr 2006 REUTERS/Tim Wimborne


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Springboks To Unleash Haka Zulu?

July 17th 2007 22:30
Well? What do you think? Will it wash?

Coming to a Rugby World Cup near you - the Springboks Haka Zulu


...and what do you think of this whole pre game war dance business?

I used to love watching the All Blacks do the haka in the days of Wayne 'Buck' Shelford who is credited with 'refining' the haka...and is quite possibly the bravest Rugby player ever...

It was really scary then. Or maybe I was younger and it just looked scary. Now that I'm older and a wiseass wiser...not so much.

...but...what's the point of war dance? To scare the enemy right?
So reasonably...what do you expect the enemy to do?

Please...do not give me the old "show them respect" cliche...when faced with the war dancing enemy, you feel the respect BUT YOU DO NOT SHOW IT. You do not stand in front of the war dancing enemy and clap politely while they do their best to intimidate you.

You are equals.

You disregard them. Treat them with subtle disdain. You swallow your fear and use it to fuel your strength and clear your mind. You don't show your fear. You gain advantage by making them feel their scare tactics aren't working. You accept their challenge by being an arrogant bastard. Or bitch.

Bring. It. On.

Before the physical warfare begins...it's all in the mind.

You do not owe the enemy anything other than a good and fair (maybe) fight.

So...my respect for the All Blacks haka died, after they complained...whinged...that the Wallabies did not show them their proper due.

I can't quite recall when this was but it was John Eales (then Captain forever legend) who told his team to just ignore them, keep warming up, show no fear, etc. It was in my warrior opinion...the right thing to do.

...which is exactly what Richard Cockerill (former English #2 hooker) said when he was disciplined for 'shaping up' to his All Black counterpart, before the start of an England v All Blacks match in 1997.

Cockerill said:
I believe that I did the right thing that day. They were throwing down a challenge and I showed them I was ready to accept it.

...and now Jake White wants a piece of it.


from Fox Sports

SOUTH Africa's rugby team, smarting from a weekend defeat to New Zealand, look set to unleash its own version of the All Blacks' famous haka based on an old Zulu war dance.

Springboks coach Jake White, set to name his squad for the World Cup this week, said he had asked the rugby authorities about reviving a dance that was last used more than 80 years ago in order to psyche up his players.

"The history books show that the 1926 Springboks performed a Zulu war dance in major matches on their tour," White told The Star newspaper in Auckland.

"New Zealand have come up with a new haka recently and, quite honestly, I would like to use ours as a challenge to them."

White revealed that his team have already performed the ritual in the changing room but believes it could have a greater impact on the pitch.

"We have done this challenge before in our team room in the four years since I have been involved as coach, but it hasn't really taken off as an idea to do it public. Not yet, anyway," said the coach.

"I have heard old All Blacks sit in the grandstand and pick up the whole mood of the team just from the haka the players perform."

The haka, which is based on a Maori warrior challenge to an enemy, has long been part of New Zealand's pre-match routine. Different versions have been used over the years, including one featuring a throat-slitting gesture which has been criticised for being overly aggressive.

Okay. 2 things.

Firstly...Jake White needs to check his tobacco.

Secondly...it's not fair!!

The AB's have the haka...
The Boks may have the Zulu war dance....
The Pacific Islanders all have their war dances (Fijian cibi* and Samoa's Siva tau are very scary)...
The Japanese are probably going to go all Samurai on our asses...and what do we have???

Waltzing Matilda.

...a very nice and uplifting for the underdog kind of song and I like the 'Australianisms' in it but seriously...

....but what could we do? What choice do we have? What do Australians do to scare the enemy?

We do what we can and what we are good at.

We laugh in the face of adversity.

Then kick the shit out of them. Metaphorically speaking of course....




*pronounced "th-as in the-imbee


info courtesy of Fox Sports
image courtesy of South Africa Travel


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...not according to me of course. If it was left to me to judge these things...well then, we all know who would win....
Always. Everytime. Even if he's been injured and hasn't played. Don't care.

You don't?
What do you know?

Anyway...

Congratulations to George. He is most deserving. He is consistent, a diligent workhorse and a total mongrel!

Although relatively small for a Forward (180cm 103kg) George's rucks and mauls foraging is fearless and more often than not, he manages to turn the ball over in our favour. His tackle rate is always high and he also has good ball in hands skills.

George is the best of the pests...which a flanker (#6 #7) is supposed to be....but he is a very versatile player and can also slot into #8 position.

George Smith of The Brumbies post dreadlock era
George Smith in Brumbies mode (post dreadlocks)



George also won Australia's Super 14 Rugby Player of the series award, in May this year, taking the tournament's top individual honour for the second straight year.

Until late 2006, when he decided to sell his dreadlocks for charity, he was easily recognised on the field by his dreadlocked hair style. When he's not on Brumbies and Wallabies duty, George takes part in many coaching clinics for children and is easily recognisable to most because he used to be the 'face' of Rugby for Xbox and PS2 games.

(Yes, I do play as Stephen Larkham okay?)

George was the first recipient of the John Eales Medal (in 2002), awarded by the Australian Rugby Union and the Rugby Union Players' Association to their Player of the Year.

His teammates and Rugby officials hold him in high esteem, as a player and as a person and I can vouch for his humble manner and gentle nature. He's a lovely young man and hopefully a future Wallaby Captain.

George's place on the run on squad, as openside flanker, has been confirmed for this weekend's Bledisloe clash.

George Smith of The Wallabies (dreadlock era)
George Smith in Wallabies mode (dreadlock era)


from Fox Sports

BRUMBIES openside flanker George Smith won his sixth Brett Robinson* Players Player Award at the Super 14 team's annual presentation night held at the Great Hall at Parliament House.

The 25-year-old back rower (230 votes) finished ahead of lock Mark Chisholm (196) and utility back Adam Ashley Cooper (186) to claim the award for the fifth consecutive season.
He also claimed a second Australian Super 14 Player of the Year Award in May.

"For one player to win this award on six occasions is a phenomenal achievement when you consider the number of world-class footballers that have been part of the Brumbies during that time," Brumbies head coach Laurie Fisher said.

"This season he took on a leadership role (captaining the Brumbies for six matches) and was in turn rewarded with the Wallabies vice-captaincy.

"While George has 94 Super 14 caps to his name, he is only 25 and I'm looking forward to him continuing to improve as part of the Brumbies program."

In the evening's other awards Chisholm was named Best Forward while Ashley-Cooper was recognised as Best Back.

There were also tributes to each of the Brumbies' departing long-term players Jeremy Paul and foundation players Stephen Larkham and George Gregan.

By the way...if you want to know what happened to George's famous dreadlocks (his wife cut them off in Septmber 2006)....go here



*This award is named in honour of former Brumbies Captain and Wallaby flanker, Dr Brett Robinson, who was also the General Manager of the ARU High Performance Unit (03-05). No that's not a car division.

Alas Brett is no longer with us.

He left Rugby to join the corporate world. May he stress in peace.




images courtesy of Stuff and ABC
info courtesy of Fox Sports





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Oh look...it's Stephen Larkham...

July 17th 2007 22:10
Well...I haven't done a Stephen Larkham post in a while...

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God (image courtesy of Getty Images)



There. All done.

Please feel free to click on image to see him clearly.














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...And The Bledisloe Goes To...

July 17th 2007 07:30
Ahhh trophies...they don't mean much until you lose them...

At one time, the Wallabies trophy cabinet at ARU held them all. Then we gave them away and the cabinet was put up for auction on eBay. No it didn't sell. And it was a hoax and no I do not know who was responsible for that.

Okay so we've got:
- The Cook Cup (v England*)
- The Hopetoun Cup (v Scotland)
- The Lansdowne Cup (v Ireland)
- The James Bevan Trophy (V Wales)
- The Puma trophy (V Argentina)
- The Tom Richards Trophy (v the British Lions)
- The Mandela Plate (v Springboks during the Tri Nations)

...not bad...but there's really only 3 trophies that matter...

The Tri Nations Trophy was last seen by us in 2001 and the Bledisloe Cup was last gloated over in 2002.

We have come close a few times but that's like saying it's enough to be nominated.

When it's a contest between 2...it can only be won...

This weekend The Tri Nations Series 2007 and the Bledisloe, come to an end.
For me, this may be the last time I truly care. It's an end of an era for me, for DDH, for many old school die hard Wallabies fans.
The last of the Greats - Stephen Larkham and George Gregan - play their last Bledisloe.

The Tri Nations logo: Wallabies, All Blacks, Springboks


The Tri Nations table as it stands now (but without the boring stats) in order of ranking:

1. All Blacks (NZ) - 9
2. Wallabies (Aus) - 9
3. Springboks (SA) - 5


(To get an understanding of how these points were reached please read this post )

This weekend's match is The Decider.

...and it's also a glimpse into the future. If everything goes as it should, this match is a preview, a dress rehearsal play if you wish, of the Rugby World Cup final...

I don't know how this play ends.

I know how I'd like it to end.

"...and the Bledisloe goes to...."

The Wallabies NEED to follow the script and write the Perfect Ending.

For themselves, for me their faithful through thick and thin (and sick and sin) fans and...yep....for them....



Yes I did say "...3 trophies that matter".

Come on home Bill...




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I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Julian Huxley. That great little pretty boy of a nothing Fullback has gone and injured himself.
Not with dignity on field. Nooooo. That would require some movement and action on his part.


Wallabies fullback Julian Huxley faces the press (image courtesy of www.scrum.com)
Um...I was just doing my usual thing...nothing.


from Rugby Heaven

Tomfoolery puts Huxley out of decider
Rupert Guinness
Monday, July 16, 2007

Wallabies fullback Julian Huxley has been ruled out of the Bledisloe Cup and Tri Nations decider on Saturday after being injured at a party following the Brumbies' presentation night on the weekend.

Sources say that Huxley saw what looked to be a hulking man dressed in all black sticking his tongue out and running towards him.

Huxley then squealed, ran the other way, looked for a cup that he could write Bledisloe on, threw it over his shoulder, kicked what looked like a ball but was actually his own head and then fell to pieces.

Please note these sources aren't that reliable because I made them up. Good story though.


Huxley sustained a cork to his left quad when tackled at the "after-party" to the Canberra reception by Brumbies back Gene Fairbanks.

Yes this could be code for a champagne bottle pointed in the wrong direction.

Wallabies coach John Connolly said Huxley was the victim of tomfoolery, but admitted he was disappointed Huxley put himself in such a position.

Why Connolly is disappointed is a mystery seeing as he puts Huxley in a position he should not have been in, all the time. #15 of the Green and Gold.

Huxley's misfortune places pressure on Connolly to call up Chris Latham to play after his return from a knee reconstruction.

Houston we have a problem. A previous post jumped the gun. Latham is not quite ready for an All Gold and Green over All Black rampage. Yes David you were right.

The option, said Connolly, would be to slot Adam Ashley-Cooper into the No.15 slot.

Good option. Not a new one. Could have been optioned from the start. Ashley-Cooper has proved his right to be on a run on side.

Connolly admitted he was disappointed by the manner of the injury but ruled out any disciplinary action against Huxley, who has played all six of Australia's Tests this year in Latham's absence.

Okay now, this would have been a bit unfair.
Huxley now has to live with the ribbing of his teammates, which is punishment enough.

Connolly said selectors were yet to decide on their fullback to face the All Blacks and will announce his team tomorrow.


I know you think I'm being harsh and believe me I know I am.... BUT...I have never been a fan of Huxley's. Not when he played schoolboy rugby, not when he played Colts, not when h played club and certainly not when he played for the MIGHTY BRUMBIES.

Huxley is a lightweight and he freezes in the face of adversity.

Sure we have had no choice with Latham out and me deep in nisery...huh?...but there are many other players far more desrving like for instance Ashley-Cooper, Gene Fairbanks and....PETER HEWAT or MATTHEW BURKE.

Things like this happen and it could have happened to anyone and although I did laugh a little...and positively hurt myself 'quoting my sources'...I am not really one to take pleasure out of others misfortune and pain.
Not even of those I intensely dislike and would like to beat the crap out of.

Schadenfreude is not my scene. I cry when I stick those pins in.....oh eek that is so not Hindu of me...


I wrote this way back in March on this post :

AND what the bloomin' hell does Julian Huxley (Brumbies #15 fullback) think he's doing??

I thought he was playing well until DDH (that would be DuskDevi Husband...."my husband" just starts getting all QE2 like...) pointed out one little fact.

Julian Huxley does not play Rugby.

He kicks his way out of it. It's lazy play. He doesn't run with the ball, he doesn't tackle much, he doesn't like to get tackled (freakin' backs) and he gets 'scared' when it comes to him getting crunched.

When Larkham was injured Huxley took his place at #10 (flyhalf) and by all accounts he was good at this position and yes, he is good at what he does....kicking....but....I just took a quick look at his player statistics as flyhalf and his kick/pass/run ratio is something like this - 100/20/5.

Well it's not but you get the picture.


You certainly can.



info courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image courtesy of www.scrum.com



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The Wallabies NEED Jeremy Paul

July 15th 2007 22:00
They need a world class Hooker.

...but...instead...they're getting a prostitution of integrity.

I am shocked and appalled and what the hell, might as well go the adage a trois...disgusted at what is happening to Jeremy Paul.

Stephen Larkham & Jeremy Paul celebrating after their last Brumbies match (image courtesy of www.scrum.com)


That's Jeremy on the right.
If you have to ask who the Man on the left is...you have no hope in hell...


If you aren't aware of what's happening on Planet Rugby and are not a regular reader of this blog and it's subsidiary and if you are one of the rare breed that actually likes to stay abreast of any tituation and yes that is your imagination, then please read:

Where is Jeremy Paul?

And from Rugby World Cup 2007:

There is No Justice, No Peace...for JP

Jeremy Paul: Wallabies Hooker, Line-out & Sink 'er

It's clear to me that this is a Smear Campaign.
Read on and you will understand why I say this.

I have posted the article in its entirety and have bolded pertinent points. Have left my usual commentary out of it because I am left wordless....


from Rugby Heaven

Paul's off the rails
Andrew Webster
Sunday, July 15, 2007

WALLABIES hooker Jeremy Paul is "off the rails" and almost no chance of playing in the Rugby World Cup this year.

Despite being widely considered the best No.2 in the country, Paul is likely to be overlooked because senior management is convinced he has an alcohol problem and is a bad influence on the team.

A senior ARU source has told The Sun-Herald they believed Paul was "on the drink virtually every day".

Those close to the 30-year-old have been concerned for his wellbeing since he separated from his wife, Sophie.

But Paul - who is the most capped (72) Wallabies hooker - has hit back at claims he had drinking problem. "They can say whatever they want," he said. "They're the ones who have to explain themselves. I'd like to know how anyone can say that because they haven't been in contact with me whatsoever.

"I've always been a bloke who enjoys a drink. But the perception that I am a pisshead is rubbish."

During a pre-season camp at the start of the year, Paul challenged Wallabies coach John Connolly over players finding out they had been dropped in the press. Senior players and officials told Paul after that meeting he had done irreparable damage to his international career because of the remark

Paul's relationship with Connolly further deteriorated after he was told he was not in the coach's World Cup plans and should search for form playing with Australia A. Paul was ruled out of those matches because of a shoulder injury.

Asked if he believed he was being overlooked because of a personal differences with Connolly, he said: "I wouldn't like to think so.

"Knuckles [Connolly] told me when I wasn't picked in the Wallabies squad earlier this year that I was the worst scrummager out of the four Australian provinces and my lineout throwing was hit and miss."

The Sun-Herald has also been told Paul's life began to freefall when he started dating a 19-year-old woman he met during the Brumbies' mad Monday celebrations at the end of the Super 14 season.

"It all happened when he did not get picked for the latest squad," a source said. "He has gone off the rails. He is throwing his marriage away and throwing his career away.

"It is just a fling for her but it is wrecking his marriage and his career is in jeopardy. Someone needs to step in and tell him to wake up to himself."

Paul denied he was seeing someone else and had been caring for his two young children on the weekend.

"That [my marriage breakdown] has nothing to do with it," Paul said. "There has been a lot of rumour and speculation going on about me. I recently had lunch with the Brumbies chief executive [Andrew Fagan] because he wanted to clear the air because he said there had been a lot of stuff going around."

Paul last night attended the Brumbies' end-of-season dinner and has been dividing his time living in Canberra and Brisbane, where he has been working with a personal trainer four to five times a week.

He is one of the game's most well-liked players but he has concerned Wallabies coaching staff because of his "party-boy" reputation.

Pat Wilson, the ARU high-performance manager, refused to comment on whether there was concern for Paul.

"There might be individuals who are aware of his situation but nothing official has come across my desk," Wilson said.

Paul played in all nine Test matches last year and every Super 14 match for the Brumbies. But he is on the outer with national selectors, who prefer Waratahs hooker Adam Freier and Queensland's Stephen Moore. Paul's Brumbies teammate Tatafu Polota-Nau was considered the next best hooker, but has a a knee injury. Reds rake Sean Hardman is next in line.

In a recent poll on rugbyheaven.com, 54per cent of respondents believed Paul was the best hooker in the country. He had been at loggerheads with the ARU about obtaining an early release from his contract so he can join English club Gloucester.

Paul withdrew that request on Thursday and it's believed his wife has the passport he requires to play in the UK.

Technically, he can still play in the World Cup having signed a participation agreement and having made it clear he wants to play. But it is unlikely he will be named in the Wallabies' 30-man squad.

PAUL'S BRILLIANT CAREER
Born: March 14, 1977.
Test caps: 72 (14 tries).
Test debut: 1998 v Scotland in Sydney.
Honours: Won John Eales Medal in 2005.
Tours: Was a member of the 1999 and 2003 World Cup squads, and has toured all the major rugby nations.
Super 14: Has played 99 games for the ACT Brumbies.


See what's happening here? This Hooker didn't toe the line. And now he's sunk.


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All Blacks Won. Some Boks Rock.

July 15th 2007 07:56
Okay...first up. A bit of honesty on the table. I didn't watch this match.

I recorded it though and I've just spent some time fast-forwarding to the bits where the All Blacks demonstrated yet again why they should never be overestimated.

The bits I did watch at normal speed were during the first half of the match...the Boks played as well as they could with a few mistakes here and there...okay everywhere...but will say this, their backline and their defense looked good.
In about 2 years, this team (as is) will rock this joint...some very promising players here.


Dan Carter: All Blacks v Boks Tri Nations 07 (image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au)
...but...what am I supposed to do with it? there's no mirror on it...


All Blacks 33 - 6 Springboks

In all fairness, it's not...um...fair if I write something about a match I didn't watch, so I have provided excerpts from the Sportal match coverage....and these were the bits I watched in slow motion and then replayed...

from www.sportal.com.au

Handling mistakes again threatened to overshadow the All Blacks performance before three late tries in the last 12 minutes set up a 33-6 win over South Africa in the Tri Nations Test in front of 33,708 at Jade Stadium in Christchurch.

It was another game in which the All Blacks, for a long period, were unable to impose themselves over a below-strength opponent and leaves next Saturday's Bledisloe Cup match in Auckland as the Tri Nations decider.

No tries were scored in the first 68 minutes in play notable for the chances created by the All Blacks, but not taken, even when the South Africans had flanker Pedrie Wannenburg sin-binned midway through the second half.

So many handling mistakes were made that the All Blacks hardly fed the scrum all evening.

The All Blacks couldn't find their attacking continuity through the first half while their lineout also battled.

Initially the Springboks were not as intensive in the forward exchanges and more committed to running the ball at every chance.

These were the bits I used as background noise while I filed my nails.

....it was a Springboks knock-on that saw wing Doug Howlett pick up the ball and then feed wing Joe Rokocoko who then found replacement halfback Brendon Leonard with a backhand flick pass and he raced home to score after 68 minutes.

There was no doubt about the second try however, created by quick hands which spread the defence, and allowed replacement wing Nick Evans to burst down the right flank and force his way over for first five-eighths Daniel Carter to land a splendid sideline conversion.

The final try, scored in injury time, resulted from a lengthy period in which advantage was matched by counter advantage before the ball dropped at the feet of Carter and he was able to race 30 metres to score by the posts and land the conversion for 23 points from the game.


My sincere apologies for the laziness of this post.

I also wish to apologise to all those I have ever insulted.

My powers can only be used for good and...you weren't.



excerpts and image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au



_____________________________
Friends of Rucks and Rolls:

Rugby Union - World Rugby Links

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I suppose it's only fair...yawn...to briefly say something about the other 2 teams of the Tri Nations Series...and whaddaya mean it's TRI so there should be 3 anyway?

Do I look like someone who gives a damn? Well do I? Huh?

Well you're wrong. I do. Only because The Wallabies need someone to thrash...

Springboks v All Blacks team logos TriNations 14/07


Saturday 14th July
Jade Stadium, Christchurch,
LIVE at 5.30pm AEST on Fox Sports 2.
...yep...that's right folks. Australian free-to-air channels are not bothering....

Last time they played was June 23rd in Durban, SA.
All Blacks 26 - 21 South Africa

...and yes we have injuries.

Springboks:

Alas brave Boks Captain, (#8) Bob Skinstad has broken his ribs but not his spirit. Unfortunately spirit alone cannot see him through what will be a rib cracking match anyway.
Jacques Cronje comes off the bench to take his place...a player with lots of spirit and ribs to match.

Boks Lock -try saying that fast- (#4) Johan Ackerman is out due to a calf strain with Albert Van de Berg taking his place.


All Blacks:

They're all injured. But they're playing anyway.....

*****************

Okay....the All Blacks looked really good, right on form, trampling over everyone and leaving dust and dried blood in their wake...until they played The Wallabies.

Major handling mistakes and tactical error after tactical error proved they were the smAll Blacks.

#7 Captain McCaw and #8 So'oialo, usually excellent players fell to bits against us. And I'm willing to bet they are not happy. Or maybe that's their normal expression...nah! I'm kidding. McCaw would be quite a hunk if he wasn't an All Black....

They have the advantage of a bye week but this could work against them. Dulled their anger, magnified their humiliation and increased their complacency. Let's hope so.
...because it's kinda scary to think of the other side of the effects....

Expect Coach Graham Henry to get fired anytime soon. Also expect him to be coaching an Australian Super 14 side next year....

***************

Although many people continue to say that this is a second string team, I don't feel so. The Springboks have just proved that they have depths of talent to plunder and they're not afriad to use them.

Yes this wasn't a full form side that faced The Wallabies last week but they showed true grunt.

Unfortunately they showed it against a team that was farewelling 2 of the greatest players to have walked Planet Rugby and ultimately the Boks were brought down by their inexperience in the face of greatness.

***************

Hard to say who's standing out from both teams.
Both teams have excellent players but their form has been eclectic.

The Blacks' Forwards...whew...scary but it's good to see Reuben Thorne, not quite sure why Jerry Collins is on the bench though.

Was quite impressed with Boks #6 van Heerden last week, and Prop #3 du Plessis was pretty good for a debutante.

This is the only time you'll find me yelling for Winger #14 Paulse to find the intercept!

Actually this is the only time you'll find me cheering for the Boks.

Result?
...well...as long as one team loses...I'm happy. ...he he...


Players to watch have been bolded but please note I will never ever highlight Dan Carter's name, I don't care how good you think he is...he's just not bold worthy;

All Blacks:

The Forwards:
1 - Tony Woodcock aka Splinter Dick 2 - Keven Mealamu, 3 - Carl Hayman, 4 - Chris Jack, 5 - Keith Robinson, 6 - Reuben Thorne, 7 - Richie McCaw (Captain), 8 - Rodney So'oialo

The Backs:
9 - Piri Weepu, 10 - Dan Carter, 11 - Sitiveni Sivivatu, 12 - Luke McAlister, 13 - Isaia Toeava, 14 - Doug Howlett, 15 - Mils Muliaina.

The Reserves:
16 - Andrew Hore, 17 - Neemia Tialata, 18 - Jerry Collins, 19 - Chris Masoe, 20 - Brendon Leonard, 21 - Conrad Smith, 22 - Nick Evans.

***************

Springboks:

The Forwards:
1 - CJ van der Linde, 2 - Bismarck du Plessis, 3 - Jannie du Plessis, 4 - Albert van der Berg, 5 - Johann Muller (captain), 6 - Wikus van Heerden, 7 - Pedrie Wannenburg, 8 - Jacques Cronje

The Backs:
9 - Ruan Pienaar, 10 - Derick Hourgaard, 11 - Jaco Pretorius, 12 - Wynand Olivier, 13 - Waylon Murray, 14 - Breyton Paulse, 15 - JP Pietersen.

The Reserves:
16 - Gary Botha, 17 - Eddie Andrews, 18 - Gerrie Britz, 19 - Hilton Lobberts, 20 - Michael Claassens, 21 - Peter Grant, 22 - Tonderai Chavhanga.

************

The Referee is Stuart Dickinson (Aus) so expect the game to be stopped every 5 seconds so that Stuey can remind everyone who's boss. For 80 minutes at least.



Go The Wallabies!!!


Whoops.

Sorry.

Go The Boks!!



Please note that this is a pre dated post so I will not be available to answer any abuse comments. Thank you.



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This was brought to my attention by fellow Orblogger....blogger extraordinaire and friend...and Rugby fan (thank you David...for being all of the above and for understanding why Larkham chased the Boks winger the way he did...)


from BBC Sport

The Scottish Rugby Union is threatening to close down Edinburgh, according to the club's owner Bob Carruthers.
...that would be the Edinburgh Rugby Club...not the actual city...ach jimmy....

He told BBC Scotland the SRU's chief executive Gordon McKie will pull the plug on funding if Edinburgh goes ahead with court action against the Union.
Where's Wallace when you need him?...nothing is freeeee....dommmmm.....

Carruthers says the SRU owes Edinburgh a six-figure sum in promised revenue, a claim rejected by the governing body.
"They have defaulted constantly," said Carruthers, who is contemplating court action to recover the funds

...hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Edinburgh ordered 12 players from Scotland's World Cup training squad to return to the club while talks were being held.
...where they will be serving haggis at the clan gathering....

On this issue, SRU secretary Graham Ireland said: "We have now written to Edinburgh Rugby on two occasions, reminding them of their obligations to release players for Scotland duty in line with the IRB's requirements.

Dear Edinburgh Rugby,

Yer a boonch of pansies eren't ya?
Giv ers the mooney or we'll hav yer guts fer garters.

yers insincerely

Graham (from) Ireland

"Regrettably we have now been forced to refer the matter to the independent disciplinary body for consideration. It is now out of our hands.
"The Disciplinary Panel will independently determine the rights and wrongs of this case and sanction Edinburgh Rugby appropriately.

"It is a great pity that we have had to resort to this in order to protect the interests of the Edinburgh players selected for the Scotland training camp and to give our national team its best chance for success in the World Cup, which begins in September."

However, Carruthers insists Edinburgh have not broken any promises and the players will return to the international squad on 13 July.

"We are not withholding the Scotland players," he said.
"There is a very, very clear agreement signed by two sets of lawyers which sets out when the players have to be released."

So....how does this affect Stephen yum yum Larkham?

Stephen Larkham - very bonny lad (image courtesy of Getty Images)
Larkham the Brave


from Fox Sports

....Larkham does not expect to get caught up in the dispute between the Scottish Rugby Union and his new club Edinburgh, where he will play after the World Cup.

"The contract I signed was on the understanding I would play the World Cup," Larkham said.

"Until I get over there on the first of November they are not controlling me."



info excerpts courtesy of BBC Sport and Fox Sports
image (cropped from original - see previous post) courtesy of Getty Images


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Chris Latham May Be Full(y)Back!

July 9th 2007 08:15
It's still early days but oh please please please!!!

The Wallabies desperately need a fullback (#15) who actually knows his field position and doesn't need smelling salts everytime a Bok or Black Forward looks in his general direction.

...and seeing as we have now lost all hope of seeing the Back of Burke* again...we need Chris Latham.

Although I am not that big a fan of Latham (a wee bit sulky, forgets he's part of a team, doesn't pull his socks up...literally), he is an excellent fullback, he's fast, a good tactical kicker, not afraid to put his body on the line and he is a line breaker...something that is sadly missing from Rugby at the moment.

Even the All Blacks without Tana Umaga go nowhere fast.

Julian Huxley cannot defend his position on field. Julian Huxley needs to go.

Chris Latham does a Babe Ruth (image courtesy of The Age)
Latham telling Huxley where to go...field position wise...



from Rugby Heaven

Wallabies assistant coach Michael Foley confirmed fullback Chris Latham was expected to be available for the Auckland Bledisloe Cup Test after playing his first game since January in Brisbane club football on Saturday.

After having knee surgery at the start of the year, Latham played the second half for the Gold Coast Breakers, scoring a try.

Please read Rucks and Jones will Break His Bones

Latham tore both his anterior cruciate and medial ligaments (as in both knees f**ked) during a Reds pre season training session in January...an injury which kept him out of the Super 14 and has kept him out of the Tri Nations. So far.

"This is really good news," Foley said. "I think Julian [Huxley] has grown game by game. But having Chris Latham back to his best will be very exciting for the squad.
That is a very polite way of saying, Huxley is a slow learner

"We have always been hopeful that Chris will be back for the next Test. Whether he makes it for that, I'm not sure. But the good news is that he got through yesterday, and apparently played quite well. Also having Chris available for the World Cup is important.

"He does look in very good condition. He looks very, very fit. The only issue will be just how that knee responds."

Hopefully not a knee jerk reaction...but...this is what Latham had to say;

from Fox Sports

"To be honest I know I don't feel ready at the moment,"

Latham completed an impressive comeback from a knee reconstruction three months faster than normal, playing 40 minutes in the Queensland Premier Rugby competition on Saturday 07/07.

The 72-Test dynamo scored a try, set up another and looked dangerous each time he touched the ball in the Gold Coast Breakers' 54-5 thumping of Norths-QUT.

Latham will now ramp up his return by going into camp with the Wallabies this week, before playing 60 minutes for the Breakers in their major semi-final against minor premier GPS at Ballymore next Sunday.

He feels a strong showing could have him ready to play New Zealand at Auckland's Eden Park the following week, but said he needs to make significant improvement.
"That may change in the next week but I just feel I won't do the jersey justice.

"To be a part of a winning Bledisloe and Tri-Nations, who wouldn't want to be part of that, but it comes down to the respect of the jersey and your teammates and I don't think I could do that."

"Tests say that I'm nearly there," said Latham.
"But a 40m straight line sprint is one thing. It's not often you run 40m straight. It's all about getting your timing and getting your game speed.

Don't get excited. The "straight" and "speed" references are not drug related.
He means that in game time, one very rarely gets the chance to run straight down the field...although, funnily enough, Latham has done that on occasion...

"It was there in stages but now I have to get back to where it's automatic. But that's what I needed, just to get rid of that fear and know that the strength's there."

Fingers, eyes, roads...and knees....crossed.



*Matthew Burke - legendary Wallaby / Waratah Fullback



excerpts courtesy of Rugby Heaven and Fox Sports
image courtesy of The Age

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...and although not a beautiful win...it was still attractive enough to leave a sad smile on Wallabies fans faces....and farewell 2 of the greatest Rugby players (and Men) ever...George Gregan and Stephen Larkham.

Larkham & Gregan at pre match press conference (image courtesy of Getty Images)
Larkham and Gregan at the pre match press conference, joking about SL's forgetfulness and GG's bad jokes!



Wallabies 25 - Springboks 17


When the Boks scored in the 7 minute on the 7th day of the 7th month of '07, to make the scoreboard flash 7-0...I knew we would win. We had to. The Boks had luck on their side...but we had incentive.

(and how eerie was the similarities with the Wallabies v Wales match...7 weeks earlier at the same venue...we were 17 down to start...)

Let it never be said that this was a second tier Boks team. If the South African's can leave 20 of their best players at home and still play like this...I cannot even begin to fathom the depth of talent in that country.

...and any team that has Bob Skinstad (#8 and Captain) on it, will never be a second rate team.

Plus he's fairly easy on the eye ol' Bob....

I don't really know what was going on with the Wallabies. They looked asleep, certainly stunned by the Boks attack and at halftime in the dressing room...they looked out of it.

Was it the emotion of the night?
Was it the scandals that had 'hit' them during the week?

Whatever it was, they need to shake it off because they cannot come into a game like this...especially with the All Black's when they met them in a fortnight on All Black's territory.

This was a respectable win but it wasn't thrilling. I'll go so far as to say...at times...it was boring. The only genuine thrill was during the mid 30 minutes of the match.

Oh well...at least we won...and allowed 2 of the greatest Rugby Union players and Men and yes I will keep on saying this, who played their last international test match on home soil...to leave with heads high....and put the Nelson Mandela Plate back in our trophy cabinet.

Good news, the Wallabies are on top of the Tri Nations ladder.
The Boks and Black's are level at 5 points each and we're on 9.

Bad news, we have a bye this weekend...and the Boks and Black's are level at 5 points each and we're on 9.

Although my faith in my beloved Wallabies never wavers...I gotta tell ya...for a while there I was...oh man....the earth moved for me and not in a pleasant way. We're talking shaky ground not le petit mort.

Thankfully, the Wallabies remembered the script and the parts they all play and the script climax. Le petit mort.

Gregan in action v the Boks (image courtesy of Rugby Heaven)


My verdict on the new jersey? I like it.
It certainly hugs in all the right places does its job....of keeping the players comfortable and it looks like the Forwards have an easier time with binding.

Larkham in action v the Boks (image courtesy of Rugby Heaven)


Why the Wallabies did not execute their perfect set moves is a puzzle. The one time they did, it was perfect and Mortlock decoyed, Larkham inside passed and Gerrard scored.

The Giteau try wasn't bad either but...as much as I hate to admit it...Breyton Paulse's (Boks #14 winger) post try victory 'dance' was the most spectacular sight of the night!

Paulse is the Intercept Master Thief and we were very lucky to not have given away more, he was just hovering, waiting for the long passes.
For Paulse's try...why the hell Larkham was the only one far back enough to chase him was beyond me.
Where the hell was the fullback Huxley? Polishing his shoes probably. Useless lightweight.

Larkham executed another brilliant move, which resulted in a try, scored by Man of the Match Wallabies #8 Stephen Hoiles who is one of the few new reasons to think well for the future of Australian Rugby.

I'm only kidding about that....but...we are coming to an end of a glorious era...

Wallabies 25
Tries: Gerrard, Hoiles, Giteau
Conversions: Mortlock 2
Penalties: Mortlock 2

Springboks 17
Tries: Van Heerden, Paulse
Convsersions: Houghaard 2
Penalties: Hougaard


After the match, Larkham and Gregan both said;
that the Wallabies paid the penalty for "getting a little excited early", but were delighted they regained their balance to ensure their farewell Australian Test was a celebration.

"It was all a bit patchy and very hard to get into the game," Larkham said. "It was fool's gold in the end.
"We fell into the trap of trying too hard to score tries."

Larkham, who also earned his 100th Test cap last night, said the occasion did not affect his or Gregan's performance.

"I was pumped up, a little bit scatty, but it was soon business as usual," he said.

Gregan scrum feed (image courtesy of Getty Images)
Gregan about to feed the ball into the scrum and looking for a reason to tell the ref what to do!


Coach Connolly has dedicated this match to Larkham and Gregan;
"The players were very conscious of recognising what they (Larkham and Gregan)have done for Australia. They are probably two of the greatest players to have played the game for Australia - so it was an important night.

Larkham receiving his Boks jersey from Skinstad (Image courtesy of Getty Images)
Stephen Larkham receiving his 100th test commemorative Boks jersey from Boks Captain, Bob Skinstad..and that silly looking hat on his head is his 100th test cap.


Larkham and Gregan were just gorgeous pre and post match...they both looked so embarrassed about having such a fuss made.

Larkham more so when he had to walk out alone...and when he accepted his fruit bowl...er...sorry...100th Test Commemorative Trophy and made his speech...I did not cry.

Much.

Thank you Stephen Larkham and George Gregan for being the Men that you are.

Larkham & Gregan celebrating post match v the Boks (image courtesy of Getty Images)
Larkham and Gregan singing the anthem, surrounded by teammates, post match in the Wallabies locker room


Larkham enjoying his post match victory lap (image courtesy of Getty Images)
Larkham enjoying his post match victory lap around Telstra Stadium







quotes courtesy of ARU
images courtesy of Rugby Heaven and Getty Images

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Wallabies v Springboks team logos 07/07/07



Venue & time:
Telstra Stadium, Sydney - Saturday July 7, 8pm (AEST)

Last match:
June 2007 - Springboks 22- Wallabies 19
(link privided for match review)

Kick off Time:
8:00pm (AEST) Saturday, 7 July 2007

Telecast Times:

LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 7.30pm AEST.

Delay in Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time).

LIVE on FoxSports 2 at 7.00pm.

*************************

Okay well...we all know why this is such an important match and if you don't well, I guess you just don't factor in my world.
(my horizons have no periphery)

It's also been a rather tumultuous week in Rugby, what with one player "misunderstanding" his diary, after having "just a couple" of drinks and resulting in him sleeping in and missing work....

It's a valid excuse.

I'd expect the diary entry to look like this;

Lote Tuqiri's diary entry?


...and another player collapsing while in a nightclub but he "wasn't drinking heavily" and oh dear, what coincidence that this happened on the same night the first player was having his "quiet drinks"...but it's okay...Lote Tuqiri and Matt Giteau just happen to be drinkers with a Rugby playing problem....

Tuqiri has been suspended. (see this post)

Giteau should be suspended from a ceiling and used as a pinata.

...but new reports say he's good to g(it)o.

On with the preview.

There has also been a lot of hands up in the air blustering over the fact that the Boks have not sent their best players, because SA Rugby wants to protect their players for the soon to be here World Cup.

This is true to an extent but a bit harsh considering a hell of a lot of their strong players are injured and surely, Jake White isn't that much of an idiot to take 'break a leg for the World Cup' seriously that he would deliberately go around injurying his players?

Or would he? Hmmm....

...BUT...there are only 2 players remaining in this run-on side, from the team that played the Wallabies 2 weeks ago in SA.
Scrumhalf (#9) Ruan Pienaar and #11 winger JP Pietersen.

24yo Front-Rower Jannie Du Plessis earns his first cap after tighthead prop (#3) Cobus Visagie suffered an elbow injury at training on Wednesday and was ruled out.

What does elbow injury mean to you?

Veteran loose forward (#8) Bobby Skinstad is Captain because John Smit is out injured with Gary Botha taking Smit's place as hooker (#2).

Noticeable absences are Victor Matfield and Bakkies Botha (the locks #4 & #5)...but that's okay because they're pricks.

I just want to know where Pretty Boy Percy Montgomery (Boks #15) is.
Who am I supposed to sledge now?

The Springboks may have been the team to beat lately...and they have been on fiyah...but it's quite hard to determine the form of this team. They still look pretty dangerous and unlike the All Blacks...must never be underestimated.

The Springboks:

Forwards:
1. CJ van der Linde, 2. Gary Botha, 3. Jannie Du Plessis, 4. Johan Ackermann, 5. Johann Muller, 6. Wikus van Heerden, 7. Pedrie Wannenburg, 8. Bob Skinstad (c),

Backs:
9. Ruan Pienaar, 10. Derick Hougaard, 11. JP Pietersen, 12. Wynand Olivier, 13. Waylon Murray, 14. Breyton Paulse, 15. Bevin Fortuin.

Reserves:
16. Bismarck du Plessis, 17. Eddie Andrews, 18. Albert van den Berg, 19. Jacques Cronje, 20. Michael Claassens, 21. Peter Grant, 22. Jaco Pretorius.

***************************** *****************************

Ahhh...it will be an emotional night Saturday night...not just for me....

from www.sportal.com.au

Wallabies coach John Connolly is expecting an emotional farewell for two of Australia's greats after naming George Gregan and Stephen Larkham in the team to take on South Africa in Sydney on Saturday night in what will be their final appearances on home soil.

Gregan, a veteran of 132 Tests, and his long-time halves counterpart Larkham will play their last match for the Wallabies in Australia at Telstra Stadium, as the pair prepare for a World Cup finale later this year.

"They are virtually icons of Australian sport," Connolly said.

"virtually"??? Moron. "They are icons". Full stop.
(what's the bet Connolly is a secret blogger?)

"We've just been so blessed in this country to have such incredibly consistent players playing in two of our key positions over the past 12 or so years."

"They are two great warriors of Australian sport and I'm sure they will receive a fitting farewell from the supporters on Saturday night in what is such a crucial Test for the Wallabies."

The match will also be Larkham's 100th Test for the Wallabies as he joins Gregan and David Campese (101) as the only players to register a century of caps for Australia.

DDH and I will not be going to this match (our boys are) because what's the point in having a big ass TV and Foxtel, if not for watching close-ups of Larkham a match like this?
...besides...we'd rather snuggle in front of a fire and I prefer screaming at the TV and jumping around like an Energiser Bunny on speed, in the privacy of my home.

(...oh...and the close-ups?...they're not really DDH's thing...having said that, there is nothing like watching a rugby match with an ex player who calls the play before it happens... it's extraordinary...)

So how are we looking?

We're looking GOOD!

There have been some changes to the run on side. Our scrum has been scrumbled...with injuries to Wycliff Palu and Stephen Moore.
Adam Freir takes over from Moore at hookr (#2) and Stephen Hoiles comes into #8...which is great! Stephen Hoiles deserves to be here always. Definitely a player to watch.

Tuqiri's suspension allows Mark Gerrard to fly at wing #14 and of course Griggs is halfback (#9) where he belongs, following last week's scare.

I hope we can keep the momentum and the hunger and the WANT and don't you just love my use of "we"??!!

The Wallabies are feeling it and they're bringing it. They just need to DO it. All in all, it all looks good...the scrum is holding up, we're competing for line-out balls and the back breaks are running smoothly.

The Wallabies will win this match because they want it...and because they want to win it for 2 of the greatest Rugby Players to have run on this earth...Stephen Larkham and George Gregan.

The Wallabies:

Forwards:
1. Matt Dunning, 2. Adam Freier, 3. Guy Shepherdson, 4. Nathan Sharpe, 5. Dan Vickerman, 6. Rocky Elsom, 7. George Smith (vc), 8. Stephen Hoiles,

Backs:
9. George Gregan, 10. Stephen Larkham, 11. Adam Ashley-Cooper, 12. Matt Giteau, 13. Stirling Mortlock (c), 14. Mark Gerrard, 15. Julian Huxley.

Reserves:
16. Sean Hardman, 17. Al Baxter, 18. Hugh McMeniman, 19. David Lyons, 20. Phil Waugh (vc), 21. Scott Staniforth, 22. Drew Mitchell


Do I have to say it?

Oh alright, if you insist...

Go The Wallabies!!



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Yes another Larkham Gregan Rucks and Rolls post.

Come on sportsfans and other people...Saturday night's match is the last time Larkham and Gregan will play on home soil. It's a big deal.

Gregan & Larkham celebrate another victory (image courtesy of SA Rugby)


This tribute was put together by the Sydney Morning Herald and is a bit boring...not the images nor the information...and certainly not the subjects....just the droning voice but you always have the option of volume control, off.

A Tribute to Stephen Larkham and George Gregan

Larkham & Gregan; a great partnership (image courtesy of BBC Sport)


DuskDevi when asked by herself, what makes Larkham and Gregan great said;
They stand alone and work together

...BUT...before you click on the above link...read on....the title promises tidbits....

***************************** ********

from Rugby Heaven

Premiere trio

For years, Stephen Larkham and Stirling Mortlock have attended the movies the night before big Test matches.
Rugby's version of David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz now has a third member - Adam Ashley-Cooper.
He admitted in the RUPA newsletter this week that last week they went "Gold Class". "I'll do that again," Ashley-Cooper gushed.

Larkham is not Margaret okay????
...and I wonder if they rename it Green & Gold Class....?

And if Adam-Cooper wants to be taken seriously Rugby circles, he better stop the "gushing"

I'm the only one that can get away with it with dignity intact.

(sfx. crickets chirping...still don't understand why this represents silence...I mean hello?...you can hear the freakin' things...)


Rumours of the week
Red faces at the ARU after using Lote Tuqiri as their prime advertising tool for the Springbok Test.
And a Qantas ad, which is emblazoned on billboards all over the place, which shows Tuqiri squirting teammates with grog, now looks in decidedly poor taste.

....hahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

To find out why the mirth moved for me...see this post....

...and a very disturbing Tidbit;
Jeremy Paul's days as a Wallabies hooker are over.
Selectors cited poor form as the reason but numerous influential figures also believe he is a destabilising influence within the team.

This gives reason for a rant post all on its own.
I will tell you now that the "destabilising influence" is just JP calling a spade a tool...



info courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image #1 courtesy of BBC Sport
image #2 courtesy of SA Rugby


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Yes, yes...I know you've read this a million times already...Larkham's 100th test match...but this story is lovely....and a lesson in determination.

Stephen Larkham; a humble legend (image courtesy of Getty Images)
A very young Larkham. Not yet a Legend but always humble


Please click on image to see it clearly.


from Rugby Heaven - Ruck & Maul (a tribute to Rucks and Rolls?...tee hee...)

It will be the Stephen Larkham Show at Telstra Stadium tomorrow night when the champion five-eighth becomes the third Australian to pass 100 Test caps.

Larkham is one of the more left-of-centre characters to appear in Australian colours: eccentric, intense, unpredictable and brilliant.

According to those who knew him at the start of his career, he was always destined to be a Wallabies great.

True that, true that. I saw him play before he was a Wallaby...and look at me now....

Max Crozier, who coached Larkham in the ACT under-21s at the 1995 carnival, where he was picked as a halfback, contacted R&M to explain that, from the outset, he had "amazing vision".

"However, his most important personal trait did not surface until after the first game," Crozier wrote.

"Within minutes of the game starting on Manuka Oval, he was jersey-flung and landed head first on the cricket pitch.
Unconscious for almost 30 seconds, it was the end of his tournament. He went to hospital for observation."

To everyone's surprise, Larkham turned up at training next day. "He knew that because of the concussion, he would not be allowed to play," Crozier said.

"Instead, he asked if he could stay with the team in camp, even if it meant having to sleep on the floor [his replacement had his bed], and he would help out wherever he could during the rest of the tournament.

He never missed training, collected balls, ran water, passed from the nine position and attended every game. Early signs of a future Australian legend."


Beat that people. He never once whinged about it.

Nor blogged...


info courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image courtesy of Getty Images
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...and so he should.

These are no ordinary backs.

Wallabies Legends - George Gregan & Stephen Larkham (cropped image courtesy of ARU)



from www.sportal.com.au

Springboks coach Jake White has paid veteran duo George Gregan and Stephen Larkham a huge compliment ahead of Saturday night's Tri Nations Test in Sydney.

..giggle...sorry...all I can think of when reading this is;
"My...don't you two look handsome today.."

South Africa is a very proud rugby nation and they showed the amount of respect they have for the Wallabies halves combination by praising the duo as well as making the effort to commemorate Larkham's becoming a Test centurion with this weekend's match at Telstra Stadium.

See this post

At the South African team announcement on Wednesday, White paraded an official Springboks jersey that they will present to Larkham before Saturday night's match. The jersey is embroided with the words - 'Stephen Larkham congratulations on your 100th Test'

...and here's your key to the world....

"I was privileged to be in Perth for George Gregan's 100th Test and it happened to be against the Springboks," White explained. "And it is going to be an honour this weekend to be there for Larkham's 100th."

"We have a got a special embroided Springboks jersey to present to him - it is a gift from South Africa to congratulate him on his 100th Test. Not too many coaches can be lucky enough to have players like Gregan and Larkham play against the Springboks in their 100th Test match."

See? Now this is the right and proper attitude to have.

White said the veteran pair never failed to surprise him with their professionalism and dedication to the game.

"People said that Gregan and Larkham were going to go into hiding and avoid contact before the World Cup but I can tell you in Cape Town, the way Larkham was climbing into the defence and all that it was far and away from people perceived what was going to happen," White said.

That's because he's Stephen Larkham.

...and he may be a Back but he never backs away from going Forward.

What?
Never mind...



info courtesy of www.sportal.com.au
image (cropped from original image see this post) courtesy of ARU

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Matt Giteau Collapses!

July 5th 2007 23:31
....no...not the scrum...maybe the rum?

I don't really know what to make of this.

Matt Giteau Rucks and Rolls (image courtesy of ABC)


from www.sportal.com.au

The Wallabies' highest-paid player, Matt Giteau, has reportedly undergone medical tests after mysteriously collapsing outside a Sydney nightclub.

Channel 9 news reported on Thursday night that Giteau has to be carried out of the Sapphire Room in Kings Cross on Sunday night after passing out.

The Australian Rugby Union say the utility back was not drinking heavily.

Hmmm...this is so ripe for Forward / Back differential analogy but what kind of hard hearted person would make fun of this, like that?

Not me. Not much.

The ARU medical team has taken blood and urine samples in a bid to find the reasons behind Giteau's collapse.

According to the television report, the tests did not find any trace of illegal substances.

Giteau collapsed on the same night team-mate Lote Tuqiri was out drinking to the early hours and later failed to front for a recovery session.

Tuqiri was subsequently fined $20,000 and banned for two Tests.

Hmmm...as Alice in Funderland would say; "what the f**K is going on?"

Please see this post for the Tuqiri Trials and Tribulations.


The little Git annoys me...but that's only because he left the Brumbies (traitor!)...He's just a kid really...hope it's just a case of a Back not being able to hold his shot glass (to keeler!)...and nothing else.



info courtesy of www.sportal.com.au
image courtesy of ABC

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This Saturday 07/07/07 is a very auspicious date.

You see if you add up the numbers, they come to 21 and if you add 2 1, that equals 3 and has nothing to do with anything.

I just like it. And actually, I'm no numerologist (so please forgive me Numerologists...I'm just being silly as is my wont and right) but this date is considered pretty special.

This excerpt taken from the New York Times:

The number 7 has held a special significance at least from the time of the ancient Babylonians, who revered the seven sacred planets, and it is a crucial numeral in the Bible, as in the seven days of the Creation to the seven petitions of the Lord’s Prayer.
Evie Bagwell, 23, and Derek Novotny, 22, from Brownsville, Pa., say they chose the date for their wedding because of its spiritual significance. “The Bible explains 777 as being perfection, and that is how we feel together,” Ms. Bagwell said.

(again, my apologies if I offend...I am quoting that which I am not too knowledgeable about)

In Hinduism too, 7 is considered a 'sacred' number and I can say this because I am Hindu (albeit a drinking/swearing/meat eating one).

Some important things that are happening this Saturday;

- The New Seven Wonders of the World are set to be revealed in a ceremony in Portugal.
- A series of concerts to raise awareness of Global warming will take place all over the world called Live Earth.

AND....Stephen Larkham will play his 100th test match for the Wallabies against the Springboks, in Sydney. His last test match on home soil.

Stephen Larkham
100per century Pure Green and Gold.

Stephen Larkham 100% Rucks and Rolls © DuskDevi 2007
Yes...I am obsessed a big fan...


...and yes, I'm wearing it today, okay? I had to get this photo taken...

This t-shirt was an official Brumbies product to commemorate Larkham's 100th Brumbies match. Damn, I forgot to take a photo of the back...it's got all his vital stats...vital match stats sickos....sheesh....


Stephen Larkham image captured from YouTube clip
Wow...Dusk really wears me close to her...um...chest



There's not much more I can say or write about Larkham. By now, most readers and certainly everyone who knows me in the Real World, are quite aware of how much I admire Stephen Larkham.

And his Rugby skills too.

I unfortunately do not write for a Rugby magazine.
The magazines I do write for are more 'lifestyle' publications and I have already 'done' many Larkham pieces for them. So I have not had 'access' this year...which is driving me insane (short trip. who said that?*) because unless I move tuh Scortluhnd...I'm never going to get a chance to interview him again.

So...I have to quote other lucky lucky lucky journalists who write for Rugby sites and get to interview Larkham every day.

This is a really nice article. I would have written it better.

from Rugby Heaven

When Stephen Larkham was about 14, his father drove him from Canberra to witness his first Test, held at the Sydney Football Stadium.

Even then Larkham had an inkling that one day he would appear in the Wallabies green and gold. The teenager brought his football boots along to the SFS. It was just in case one of the Wallabies was injured and "they needed to call someone from the stands". "Growing up I loved rugby, and always thought I was going to play for Australia at some stage," Larkham said.

Aherm...he told me this too. I have it on digital tape and in print. Thank you. Name Drop Buy Tickets On Self time over.

Belief is a crucial factor in any player's career. Endurance is another, and even Larkham seems mystified that despite achieving his dream of becoming a Wallaby, it would extend to a 100-plus Test career.

All jokes aside...you must understand...this is quite a feat for a man as 'breakable' as Larkham.
He certainly does not look physically fragile now but when he first started playing, he was a twig...and he has broken many many many bones...but he keeps on going.

To watch a Wallabies/Brumbies match...is to see Larkham being flattened by his opponents at every opportunity but he gets right back up...unless of course his shoulder gets popped out of it's socket or the back of his knee where he just had surgery to remove a melanoma gets savagely rucked or his elbow gets broken...little stuff like that.


On Saturday against the Springboks at Telstra Stadium, the 33-year-old will become the third Australian player to reach the 100-Test milestone, following David Campese and George Gregan.

The celebrations will involve a special commemorative cap which will be presented to Larkham, who is without doubt one of the 10 greatest Wallabies ever, showing his versatility as a first-rate international fullback and five-eighth.

A cap?
I'm thinking medal people.

His career has involved hideous injuries, endless moments of courage, and jubilation - none better than his field goal in the 1999 World Cup semi-final against South Africa.

But most importantly, he will be remembered for his ability through the most intelligent of football minds to repeatedly turn Test matches in Australia's favour.

1. I'm a bit tired of that field goal. He has subsequently had bigger 'moments'.
2. His IQ is over 130


Adding to the moment is that it will be Larkham and Gregan's last Test match on Australian soil. The pair have been playing side by side for 12 years at Test and provincial level, forging a tight bond.

(oh if you could hear me cry...not see me though...I am such an ugly crier...my forehead furrows and mouth droops...ewww...)

"It will be a proud milestone, but to have George beside me will make it doubly special," Larkham said yesterday. "As it is our last Test in Australia, he'll be looking forward to it as much as I will be. But I won't be too emotional about it. There's a lot of work to be done before the match and the Springbok side they are sending out, although written off in the press, will be formidable.

"Potentially after the match is where the emotions will come in, and when I'll start thinking about it. Beforehand, it is certainly going to be business as usual."

Of course it is. There's a time and place to cry and I'm doing it now.

Larkham's aspirations to be a Test footballer began well before he appeared as a self-conscious and gangly 21-year old with the ACT Brumbies in 1996. Within a few months of his provincial debut he had played the first Test as a replacement against Wales in Sydney.

I first saw him play in Hong Kong. He was gangly and awkward and physically, I suppose, a bit dorky BUT....that intelligence that just beamed out of his eyes?...my oh my oh my...

I will touch on this very briefly. Larkham was very very sick as a child and this contributed to him not maturing physically until his mid twenties.

And when he did mature....ouch...

"Growing up, I always watched the Bledisloe Cups. They were the biggest games in the year, and I always wanted to play for Australia against New Zealand at some stage," Larkham said.

"Back then, Australia only played three or four Test matches per year. So at the time to even think you could play 100 Tests was just irrational. The professional era has come, and I think a lot more guys will be reaching that milestone in the near future."

It will still be some time before another Australian achieves such a feat. The next closest is George Smith with 77 Test caps.


Happy 100th Test Match Stephen!!


*a DDHism



excerpts courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image captured from You Tube clip of a Sky Sports interview


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Lote Tuqiri image courtesy of www.fijilive.com
the goose...steps...



Well, well, well. Looks like you can take the winger out if his code but he's still way out of his league...

Wallaby w(h)inger, Lote Tuqiri has been banned for 2 tests and fined A$20,000.

No. Not for having the the audacity to change codes.
That would be an in-fine-ite amount...

Tuqiri was punished for "breaching team protocol", which included
failing a breath test for alcohol on Monday after returning to Sydney the previous day, following Australia's 20-15 victory over the All Blacks in Melbourne.

Okay. Now you're probably thinking "hey come on, that's unfair, he should be allowed to celebrate the victory".

Well sure, if he actually contributed to it and instead of flailing around like dreadlocks without a head BUT...team protocol is team protocol and the Wallabies are in the middle of their 'work time' and if more deserving players managed to keep their need for 'celebration' under control, then he has no excuse.

For some reason, Tuqiri is considered a 'role model'. A bit like Paris Hilton.
....and....he gets paid a lot of money in exchange for a few weeks of abiding by "team protocol".

Tuqiri is on a $6million dollar contract (over a 5 year period) PLUS he would have received an additional $11,500 per (missed) test....meaning his little breach has cost him $43,000. And a few brain cells.

Weigh it up people.

Apparently, according to an ARU news report;
...the Wallabies' four-man disciplinary committee, which met over the issue for 90 minutes on Monday night, had recommended a one-match ban and a $20,000 fine. That would have left him available to take on the All Blacks.

However, ARU chief executive John O'Neill stepped in and ensured Tuqiri's suspension was extended to two Tests. Tuqiri was still under a two-year suspended two-match ban for a night-club incident at Cape Town on July 21 that led to Matt Henjak being sent home. Tuqiri was also fined $500 for that incident.

"No one would be keener than me to win the Bledisloe Cup back in a couple of weeks and to have our best team on the paddock," O'Neill said . "But it would send out a bad message if you didn't apply the rules."

I would like you all to know that the latest weather report says that the next winter Olympics will be held in Hell-sinki.

Why?

...because I actually agree with Ponce O'Neill.

Wallabies Coach, John Connelly agreed with this decision, saying iot was a shame from a Rugby point of view but from a long term view "it was an important decision". Which means he doesn't really give a shit as long as the wallabies continue to win.

Get this though...the ARU believe that Tuqiri's ban may not bode well for Rugby. In terms of match attendance and match win.

...the Australian Rugby Union and Wallabies could also pay for it. After helping beat the All Blacks last Saturday to get one hand on the Bledisloe Cup, Tuqiri would have been a key player in the July 21 decider in Auckland. His absence against the world No.1 ranked side may be the difference between the Wallabies winning or losing.

I have 2 words for all of that. What. Uttercrap.

...Tuqiri's absence from this Saturday's Test against the Springboks at Telstra Stadium may also hurt the ARU's coffers, which are in need of re-supply following poor crowds in the two Tests against Wales and one versus Fiji.

After the Wallabies' win over the All Blacks, this week had been pencilled in by the ARU as one for crowd-pulling publicity, with strong hopes that the side could secure first place on the Tri Nations ladder with a win. However, the Tuqiri case has thrown those expectations into disarray.

No. What has thrown those expectations into disarray (or dat array...!) is the ARU and their greed.

You could feed a family for a year on what it costs to watch a Wallabies test match live. (albeit the family will be eating chewing gum all year but still...chwing gum can get expensive).

The "poor crowds" are literally that. Poor. In wallet not just in numbers.

...and I'm sorry...people are far too fickle when it comes to parting with their hard earned cash. It wouldn't hurt as much to watch the Wallabies play badly, 'live' if the tickets cost $20/person instead of $150.

Back to Lote.

Obviously he is not feeling very happy.
"Obviously I'm not happy.
See?
I have let the boys down, family and friends and everyone else," he said. "But I understand where they are coming from."

Tuqiri also conceded he might have to address his use of alcohol. "I guess that is something I have to look at. There are other issues, too. I have time management issues and everything as well," he said.
...expect a Lote Blog anytime soon...

As for his "use of alcohol"....

Lote? Mate? You drink it. Not bathe in it.
Those days are over...when people were drinking players with a Rugby problem...in those days...these people played Rugby just for the love of it.

So what did he do?

He missed Monday's team medical appointment at 10am and a midday recovery session after spending Sunday night drinking with teammates and "other mates".

At this time it is not clear if these other mates had tits.

Lote's defense is that he "misunderstood his diary and had slept in", to be eventually woken up bya team staff member who realised he had not attended either session.

Misunderstood his diary?

Misunderstood. His. Diary.

"Dear Diary...we're both so misunderstood..."


Coach Connolly says that Lote looked rather "shabby" when he woke up...because Connolly of course, is a supermodel....anyway, Lote was ordered to take a breath test, which he did at 1.30pm in the room of team doctor Martin Raftery.

His reading exceeded the team limit of 0.05.

Connolly also revealed that another player was breath tested, but his reading was within the limit allowed.

This has not been a good year for Lote.

Look...he's a good enough player and has been responsiblel for some great and worthy moments but just because he can play Rugby does not make him a Rugby player.

Being a Rugby player is all in the attitude.
And one thing you do not do is turn against your team mate, in public and because you're frustrated with your own inability to make something happen.

I'm referring to that incident with Play It Again Sam but Nor' tonight...(link provided).


Let me break it down for you:

July 3: Two-match ban, fined $20,000 for disciplinary reasons.

June: 2 match 'enforced benching' for "reconditioning and speed'

May 14: Apologises to Wallabies selector Michael O'Connor for putting phone on loudspeaker during conversation about teammate Peter Hewat.

March 2: Apologises for shoving NSW teammate Sam Norton-Knight on field.

January 4: Sent home from Wallabies' training camp after failing fitness test.

August: 11 week ban for spear tackling All Blacks Captain richie McCaw. Despite what you may think, I do not feel this is a good thing. Spear tackling is the equivalent of anonymous hate comments.

July 2005: Nightclub spat with Matt Henjak in Cape Town; suspended two-match ban and $500 fine.

2002: Switched codes...from thugby league to Rugby...and this was the biggest mistake of them all.


6 million dollar man?

I don't think so.



excerpts courtesy of Rugby Heaven
image courtesy of Fiji Live



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Gregan. LeGGend. Not leg-end...

July 2nd 2007 11:23
Those of you watched the first Bledisloe match* will have seen a very disturbing sight.

No, not the amount of New Zealanders in the MCG.

Nooo. Not the All Blacks choking. Again.
That's not disturbing.
That's all too familiar.

This....

George Gregan limping off field and then coming back on (to congratulate his teammates after the final whistle blew) with an ice-pack strapped to his right leg....end of his career???

...but....fear not sportsfans....George Gregan is a.o.k.

Gregan during Bledisloe match 1 30/06/07 (image courtesy of Rugby Heaven)


"No Joe...you're supposed to lean this way..."

George Gregan tackling Joe Rokocoko (All Blacks #11) during the Bledisloe match 1


GG has been deemed fit to play in his...sob...final Rugby test on home soil for this Saturday night's Tri Nations whip-clash against the Springboks in Sydney.

Gregan, the most capped player in Rugby's history (this means he has played more matches than anyone else), suffered a leg injury during last Saturday's game, which saw Little Git(eau) move to halfback and Scott Staniforth move to inside centre....and....
Interestingly enough people....this 'loosened' up our backline play.

And made it 'smoother', faster...slick.

Gregan's departure forced the cogs of the the back wheels to move with force and purpose.

When I eventually get around to writing and evaluating the game, alcohol and gloat free, I will expand on that point.
One thing...Gregan is not at his best when he has to play constant defensive Rugby.

For now...just rest assured that GG will be there to pass to his first receiver, his long time team mate and co-legend Larkham (oh who am I kidding...we all know or should know I feel Larkham has no co...he's inc.), Stephen Larkham for their final home outing at Telstra Stadium this weekend.

The Coach, John Connolly has said that he doesn't think there would be any changes to the backline that upset the All Blacks.

Upset is such a polite word.

Certainly not the word I have used to describe what happened...

Til next time sportsfans and fringe dwellers.





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Bledisloe Cup Match 1...derful...

June 30th 2007 14:56
Hello sportsfans.

Well...I just have one thing to say...

We won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won we won...


See? Just won thing.

Oh...and the All Blacks lost.


Wallabies 20 - All Blacks 15

Wallabies 20
Tries: Adam Ashley-Cooper, Scott Staniforth
Conversions: Matt Giteau 2
Penalties: Stirling Mortlock 2

Brilliance: Larkham, Gregan, Hoiles, Mortlock (but he still knocked himself out)
Beauty: Stephen Larkham

Courage: The Wallabies Front Row. Yes...even Duh-nning.

Uselessness: (#15) Julian Huxley

All Blacks 15
Tries: Woodcock, Gear
Conversions: Carter
Penalties: Carter

Stupidity: Dan Carter
Pansy naff-ness: Dan Carter

****************

First half was best viewed blindfolded.

Second half....we got angry....and hungry....and it was a score-gasboard...!!

Will be back on Monday with a match review and when I've stopped gloating partying being smug nah....being smug and celebrating.

Gotta go. My my my i yi woo.... Mah mah mah my Corona is calling me....not that I need anything else to make my motor run...I am revved up sugah!!!

....and here's some reasons why;

***********************

Dan Carter tries to charge down a Stephen Larkham kick during Bledisloe Match 1 (image courtesy of RugbyHeaven)


Dan Carter (All Blacks #10) gets an eye-dea of why Stephen Larkham (Wallabies Perfect 10) kicks butt.

************************

Troy Favell can run but cannot hide from the Wallabies (image courtesy of Rugby Heaven)


Troy Favell (All Blacks #5) Wallaby-ed up and nowhere to go....except over Huxley (#15)....


NB: Am fully aware that we cannot rest on our laurels...yet....but....we needed a fairy tale ending for this match (see previous post for why) and if nothing else...The Wallabies proved that when the going gets tough...the tough kick ass.


Go The Wallabies!!!


images courtesy of Rugby Heaven
Copyright Getty Images



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The Bledisloe Cup. Bring it on...

June 29th 2007 08:37
...because it should still and always call Australia...home.

Wallabies v All Blacks. Bledisloe kaBOOM!



Thassright sportsfans. And the rest of you. It's onnnn.

The 2007 Bledisloe Cup

Saturday June 30th.
MCG, Melbourne
8:00pm

Telecast Times:

LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 7.30pm AEST.
LIVE on Fox Sports 2 from 7.00pm AEST.


Delay in Melbourne and Perth on Channel 7 from 10.30pm (local time). (I'm so sorry Victorians and SAustralians....)
Delay in Adelaide on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time).

I do not understand why this match is being played in Melbourne. And oh the irony...Melburnians can't watch the match live on TV for cripes sake.

If you don't know what the Bledisloe Cup is....please read this post and please expand your horizons.

The Bledisloe Cup is more than just a Rugby match. It is more than just a Sporting event.

It's the very existance of our lives.

Well okay. It's not.
...but it's pretty damn important.*

Especially this match.

...because....deep breath...don't cry (me not you)....

It's Stephen Larkham's and George Gregan's last match against the All Blacks on Australian soil.

Excuse me for a minute.


I'm helping end the drought....



I'm back. It's okay. I'm good now. ...but I'm sitting in a swimming pool...

Aneewayy.

There has been much talk and mud slinging (whoopee!) about this being a second tier all Black's team.
Now, there are some of us...me...who think that every team other than the Wallabies is a second tier team.
Let me rephrase that.

There are some of us...ME...who know[s] that every team without Stephen Larkham (and George Gregan) is a second tier team.

However, I assure you that this All Black's squad is not to be underestimated because there is nothing second tier about these players playing the first Bledisloe Cup match.

The All Blacks:

The Forwards:
1. Tony Woodcock, 2. Anton Oliver, 3. Carl Hayman, 4. Chris Jack, 5. Troy Flavell, 6. Jerry Collins, 7. Richie McCaw (c), 8. Rodney So'oialo,

The Backs:
9. Byron Kelleher, 10. Dan (pansy naff ponce) Carter, 11. Josevata Rokocoko, 12. Luke McAlister, 13. Mils Muliaina, 14. Rico Gear, 15. Leon MacDonald.

The Reserves:
16. Keven Mealamu, 17. Neemia Tialata, 18. Ross Filipo, 19. Chris Masoe, 20. Piri Weepu, 21. Aaron Mauger, 22. Nick Evans

I haven't 'bolded' any names because...This is a dangerous pack. All of them. And they have more than half a brain...these are some of the best forwards in the world and they're scary...

Richie McCaw will be his usual pain in the as...toundingly efficient.
The #8 Rodney So'oialo supposedly had a fantastic game last week against the Boks (whatever) and is expected to continue his great form.

Pansy Boy Carter will look for a mirror at every opportunity so expect him to play well so that he can check himself out on the big screen.

**********************

The Wallabies:

The Forwards:
1. Matt Dunning, 2. Stephen Moore, 3. Guy Shepherdson, 4. Nathan Sharpe, 5. Dan Vickerman, 6. Rocky Elsom, 7. George Smith (vc), 8. Wycliff Palu

The Backs:
9. George Gregan, 10. Stephen Larkham, 11. Lote Tuqiri, 12. Matt Giteau, 13. Stirling Mortlock (c), 14. Adam Ashley-Cooper, 15. Julian Huxley.

The Reserves:
Reserves: 16. Adam Freier, 17. Al Baxter, 18. Mark Chisholm, 19. Stephen Hoiles, 20. Phil Waugh (vc), 21. Scott Staniforth, 22. Mark Gerrard.

Okay. Pudding aka Matt Dunning may have had a good game against the Boks but nothing will make me change my mind about him.
Duh-nning has been playing professional Rugby for how long now?...and now he decides to actually do some work instead of standing there making the grass look busy.

As you can see I am very biased towards the Forwards...usually the Front Row, but this front row is no match for the All Blacks.

I can only hope that these 3 are hungry on the night....otherwise they're going to get chomped. I really really want to be wrong.

The back line....well...they're all good (I'm not talking about Gregan and Larkham....they're great) but they're mood dependant players.
They need to bring it. They cannot let the All Blacks intimidate them.
Mortlock needs to try not to knock himself out but I'm betting he will.

We just need to avoid the no way out panic kicking and think strategy. It's all in the 'tac'

Tactical kicking. Tackling. Attack. And spectacular Rugby.

The Wallabies need to win this. They need to do it for 2 of the greatest rugby players...sportspeople...men. ...ever.

Stephen Larkham and George Gregan.


Larkham and Gregan were instrumental in providing a fairy tale ending for John Eales (see previous post).

They need it done for them now.

We'll win by 3 points.

Go The Wallabies!!


...and for the sheer pleasure of it...here's My Penultimate Man showing the Pansy Boy who's Boss.

Larkham jumps over roadkill Carter image courtesy of ABC
...damn roadkill....





image courtesy of ABC


*hello? where've you been? In Paris Hilton's jail cell?

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Swing High Sweet Bledisloe...

June 29th 2007 01:31
...we're scrumming forth to carry you home.

And Home is the Wallabies trophy cabinet.

Bledisloe Cup image courtesy of the ARU


What is The Bledisloe?

It's war. It's a Clash of the Titans.

The Mighty Wallabies versus the smAll Blacks.

(And yes I am biased and yes it is blasphemy to make fun of the All Blacks because they are the All Blacks but I am a die hard Wallabies supporter and nothing and no one will stand in my unwayvering faith in The Wallabies.)

The Bledisloe Cup is played during the Tri Nations series (see previous post) and was first contested in 1931, when the then Governor-General of New Zealand, Lord Bledisloe, presented the Cup "as a perpetual Rugby trophy and a token of good will between Australia and New Zealand."

Ha! A token of Good Will.

No. It's a symbol of will over won't.

Since its inception, it has been varied btween being a single Test match or a two or three Test match series.
When the Tri Nations series started in 1996, it became a fixed two match series played on a home and away basis.

Now it's a 3 match series again, as the Tri Nations has been lengthened so that each participating nation plays the others three times instead of twice.

The Bledisloe Cup trophy is the biggest trophy in world Rugby. In terms of size.

The smAll Blacks have won the Cup 37 times.
The Wallabies....not as many....maybe about 12....

Anyway, that dosn't matter.
Obviously the All Blacks win it more because they're trying to compensate for something... (b)lacking...something....smA ll...

Oh man. That sledge doesn't really make any sense.
Nevrtheless, it stays.

The first match of the Bledisloe series is being held tomorrow Saturday June 30th at the MCG in Melbourne, Australia.

...and here's something to prime you...and a reminder.
We may not have won the Bledisloe since 2002 but...the All Blacks were supposed to win the 2003 Rugby World Cup.

And we all know what happened there....


Wallabies over All Blacks final try 2001

One of the most incredible matches ever, was played on September 1 of 2001 at Stadium Australia, in what would be Wallaby Great John Eales' (aka Nobody...because Nobody's perfect...) last ever test.
The Wallabies intended to send their skipper off in grand style.

Evrything was looking good in the first half when the Wallabies held a solid 19 to six lead over the All Blacks.
However, 2 converted tries in the second half (Andrew Mehrtens is a big poncy naff...er...ponce), saw the All Blacks leading 26 - 22.

...BUT....in the dying moments of the game no.8 Toutai Kefu scored the winning try for Australia.

And a great player became a legend. The Hand That Won the Bledisloe.

Eales has been buying him drinks ever since.




I will be back with a match preview and the full squads and my faith.

Go The Wallabies!!




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...one nation.

"Please explain."

Well. It's like this.

We're smack bang in the middle of major grrrRugby season...the Tri Nations series, which actually started 2 weeks ago when the Wallabies played the Springboks in South Africa.

Okay...so I sort of told you waiting with bated breath sportsfans what went down, who won, etc. (just in case you missed that post....link provided, you lucky thing you...)

What I didn't mention was that it was the start of the Tri-Nations...nor did I mention that a major match was played last Saturday in Durban, SA, between the Springboks and some insignificant team from New Zealand...

Hey. If you want maturity...get some cheese.
And please read my fuschia disclaimer.

Anyway, the NZ team won.

All Blacks 26 - Springboks 21

According to rumour the All Blacks are on fire. Which explains why they're called All Blacks...


So what's the Tri-Nations?

Tri Nations Trophy image courtesy of ARU


The Tri Nations is a series of Rugby Union matches, held every year between the Wallabies (Australia), the All Blacks (New Zealand) and the Springboks (South Africa).

The competition is organized by SANZAR, a consortium formed by the rugby governing busybodies of Australia's ARU, New Zealand's NZRFU and South Africa's SARU.

The Tri Nations Cup was first contested in 1996 (when SANZAR was formed) and pitted the Wallabies, All Blacks and Springboks against each other in the world's premier Rugby competition...in order to create the equivalent of a major Southern Hemisphere tournament (as the Northern hemisphere countries enjoy many major tournaments).

Each team plays four times (fixtures) at home and away.
Australian soapie fans, please don't get excited. This has nothing to do with you.
Each team plays each other twice.
Each team plays at home twice and away twice.
Six matches in total.

The 2007 Match Schedule:

16-06-2007 3:00pm
Springboks - 22 v Qantas Wallabies - 19
Newlands, Cape Town

23-06-2007 3:00pm
Springboks - 21 v All Blacks - 26
Absa Stadium, Durban

30-06-2007 8:00pm
Qantas Wallabies v All Blacks
MCG, Melbourne

07-07-2007 8:00pm
Qantas Wallabies v Springboks
Telstra Stadium, Sydney

14-07-2007 7:35pm
All Blacks v Springboks
Jade Stadium, Christchurch

21-07-2007 7:35pm
All Blacks v Qantas Wallabies
Eden Park, Auckland


The Wallabies have won the trophy twice. The Boks have won it twice and the All Blacks have mumble mumble mumble.

The winner is determined by a points system:

4 points for a win
2 points for a draw
0 points for a loss (really?)

Bonus points also get awarded and count toward deciding the series winner.

A team may earn one bonus point in each of the following ways (to a total of two points):

- By scoring four or more tries in the match, regardless of the final result of the match.
- By losing by seven points (a converted try) or fewer.
- A victorious team can collect either 4 or 5 points, depending on whether or not it scored 4 tries.
- A losing team may collect from 0 to 2 points.

At the end of the series the team with the most points is declared the winner. (really??)
If teams end level on points the first tiebreaker is point differential, followed by number of tries during the series.

However, the Tri Nations has never ended in a tie for Top Dawg.

Since the start of the Tri Nations, the matches played between the Wallabies and the All Blacks, also determine the winner of the Bledisloe Cupeach year.

And that's a major post coming up.

The first Bledisloe is this Saturday June 30th.


This is not just a Rugby Match.

This is grrrrrrrrrrrrrRugby War.

Go The Wallabies!!




Post compiled with the help of Wikipedia and various other sources, including my brain and my smartarse mouth...er...hands.

Image courtesy of ARU




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...you're feeling very very sleepy....
Please hover your mouse over this image if your name is Stephen Larkham.


I think this story should be mesmerising enough without the commentary.

from Fox Sports

Hypnotist could help Larkham
By Peter Jenkins
June 25, 2007

AUSTRALIA coach John Connolly was urged last night to hire a hypnotist to have five-eighth Stephen Larkham at his best for Saturday's showdown with New Zealand in Melbourne.

Former Australia team kicking coach Ben Perkins claimed Larkham - out of sorts with the boot against South Africa last week - has the ability to be a big-punting match-winner.

"But he's a confidence player," Perkins said, who quit in indignation this season when the Australian Rugby Union offered him severely reduced terms to stay on the Wallabies' staff.


Wow.
Now that's incentive. To quit.

"You need a hypnotist in there to tell Stephen he's capable of doing anything, to reinforce for him that he is a genius.

...hence the title of this post...

"I've seen him kick superbly in Test matches. He can do it.
"But he needs to believe in himself and trust his technique.

"When he stands tall and swings with a fully-flying authoritative leg he's great.
"At times though, he gets jerky in his action and the kick is just not in the same class."

Jerkins is looking for a kick in the rhymes with class.

Perkins remains critical of ARU officials who "insulted" him with a poor offer, claiming that they had failed to grasp the importance of tactical kicking in the Wallabies' World Cup prospects.


Um hello?
The ARU has just rehired John O'Neill.
They've failed to grasp his importance.

None whatsoever.

It was an area that cost them field position and ultimately the match against the Boks in Cape Town.

"Football players are like golfers and tennis players," Perkins said.
"They need someone around to keep them on track.

"They could have their hips put off alignment, or some other small thing that can cause troubles to the end result.

"You've got to remember that even Tiger Woods has a coach."


Perkins argued that towards the end of last season, Chris Latham was acknowledged as the biggest and best line-kicking fullback in the world while Matt Giteau, Stirling Mortlock and Cameron Shepherd had exceptional goalkicking strike rates.

But against the Springboks in particular, the general play kicking was well below par.

"Latham is well capable of doing it and they desperately need him back," Perkins said.
"He went from being a joke kicker to being the best in world rugby."

Perkins also lamented the lack of time the Wallabies have devoted to kicking in recent years.

One thing we all seem to have forgotten.

Rugby is a Running Game.

...and we've kicked some ass.





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Watch this video...to get an idea of why I think this man is just...well...just who he is.

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God (original image cropped courtesy of ARU)



I give me you......

Stephen Larkham.....


....and ignore the ad at the end...it's kinda funny though...



You could never tell that this Man is a millionaire elite sportsperson....respected the world over for his sporting prowess and humble manner....I mean...where's the bling (hate that word), the bluster?

Clearly he doesn't subscribe to the Beckham Code of Excess Pool.
Thank God.

I met a gorgeous woman (funny, beautiful, very intelligent - a financial analyst) a few weeks ago (at the premiere of my darling friend's film).
This lovely woman is a mad Rugby fan...and a BRUMBIES fan...and....she knows Stephen Larkham because their families live in the same area and she grew up knowing them.

Naturally she and I hit it off really well.

Because she's funny. Okay?

...she did tell me that the Larkham family is like that. High achievers yet humble.
They're welcoming and happy to do and be, not just exist but make no great shakes about it.


I have said this before (...many times...), Stephen Larkham is a genius.
(literally. His IQ is genius percantile. I know this because mine is too.

....hahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahaha...ah sheesh I crack myself up
...)

And he is humble. Shy. Modest. Unassuming. Brilliant.

Gorgeous.



...and yes, that is his wife Jacqueline and 2 daughters.

And have I mentioned I'll be watching Scottish Rugby next year?

...ach jimmy...ya cannae handa a lass a granda man...ahhh.....

(well, you can but I'm married to him...)



image courtesy of ARU (cropped from original image - see this post)


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...ouch...ouch...ouch...ouch. ...

Wallabies World Cup Jersey 07. Larkham, Gregan, Giteau. image courtesy of ARU
(l-r) The Demi God, The Guv'ner, The Hobbit


...I'm not really in any state to speak, let alone type right now but I do urge you to click on the image to see Larkham the photo in full glory...and by the way...Hobbit is standing on something...

Larkham is about 6'2"... Gregan is about 5'9"...and Giteau is a Hobbit.


from ARU

The Australian Rugby Union and Canterbury International have today announced a new jersey for the Qantas Wallabies’ 2007 Rugby World Cup campaign.

The new slimfit jersey, which has been under development for three years between Canterbury designers and Loughborough University in the United Kingdom, has been created to give the Wallabies and other Canterbury teams a performance edge.

"other Canterbury [wearing] teams"?

Oh. So that's practically all the other teams that play Rugby.
...but it 'fits' my sense of fairplay....although I do think the All Blacks need viagra rather than enhanced jerseys...you know?...to keep their game up...because they always wilt at the climax.

And "3 years"??? Oh come on.
They don't put this much time and dedication into developing solutions for the relevant issues like eradicating global poverty and hunger, ceramic water fuelled engines and a way to clone an understudy for Larkham.


The new design retains the predominantly gold characteristic of the Wallaby jersey and also considers the conditions the players will face in France.

...well...they should have added a codpiece then.
The French are notorious squirrels.....


The jersey has been designed to meet the needs of different player positions, with design features including the placement of specific grips on the jersey to retain the ball whilst running and to enhance binding in the scrum.

The jersey includes a short and long sleeve option, as well as a cap sleeve version which has been developed specifically for the Wallabies props. A new offset loop neck and slimfit design will help the players evade collar and jersey tackles.

...and you all thought womens bras were complicated....

A number of senior Wallabies were involved in testing the new jersey including George Smith, Al Baxter, Stephen Larkham, Lote Tuqiri and Matt Giteau.

“All of the players involved in testing the new jersey felt it gives us more freedom of movement and has a better sleeve and body fit and greater breathability,” Qantas Wallabies flanker George Smith said.
“It still keeps the traditional element of gold, which the Wallabies are well known for, and the Webb Ellis Cup logo on the sleeve is a nice touch ahead of this year’s tournament in France. I particularly like the grip panels on the front of the jersey – they add an extra dimension in terms of look and performance.”

Stephen Larkham.
Grip panels.

I'm going to leave this one alone.


Other jersey innovations include an underarm stretch panel for improved freedom of movement and a new super lightweight Temex® fabric that significantly reduces moisture retention and the weight of the jersey.
The new age fabric also wicks perspiration away from the skin to the jersey surface, preventing player overheating, discomfort and helping to maintain player performance.


Is this a jersey or a prophylactic?

This bit of [jersey] information was a bit too much for DDH. In his Rugby playing days, players used discomfort to enhance player performance....the oppositions discomfort.


The Qantas Wallabies new Canterbury jersey will be officially launched at Sydney’s Martin Place on July 5 and players will wear it for the first time when they meet the Springboks at Telstra Stadium in Sydney on July 7.

A range of replica (supporters) versions of the new jersey are now available at Canterbury retail outlets. Stockists: 1300 551 133 or www.CanterburyNZ.com.


I cannot be objective about the jersey at this stage. I'm still swooning at the sight of Larkham in it....

What do you think?




info and image courtesy of the ARU


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Boot Camp. Easy?...Hard.

June 22nd 2007 10:06
You know...if anyone needs a blog....it's this man.

Instead he's got a column in a national newspaper.

Please feel free to insert your own analogy here.
eg. That's like giving a brain to a cube.
Or... a keyboard to a tone deaf platypus.

What? Never mind....

Please note, I do respect (as most sports lovers do) this man's amazing talent, incredible skill and Rugby brain. It's his personality I can't stand.

David Campese in his heyday. image courtesy of ABC


"I'm going to goose him..."

from www.sportal.com.au

Campese sticks to his word
He should have stuck to being a winger not a whinger.


Wallabies legend David Campese has laughed off a snubbing from the Wallabies over a jersey presentation before last week's Test against South Africa in Cape Town.

Truth is, he probably went back home and cried. Then combed his hair. Then watched all the tapes of his glory days. And wished he had a blog....

The Wallabies have a tradition where a former player is invited to present a jersey to the game day captain before each Test, but Campese, who lives in South Africa and was present at the ground, was rejected as a potential presenter by the Australian players.

Of course he was rejected. Who the hell are these people kidding?

Why the hell would anyone want someone who makes snide bitchy remarks at every opportunity, purports to know everything about everything, puts everyone else down and is in total denial about his behaviour, is not just egomaniacal but has traits of megalomania (which would include accusing everyone of ganging up on him) and is cynical, bitter and twisted and thinks the world owes him something, around them?

I mean if the Wallabies wanted someone like that around, they'd call Ahmed.


Campese has raised a few hackles on the back of Australian rugby with his critcism of the Wallabies in his regular columns for The Daily Telegraph and this is thought to be the reason behind his snubbing.

Oh. My. God.
Dude needs to get laid.

...on a slab and whipped.

For saying crap like this;

But the record breaking try scoring winger makes no apologies for his outspoken comments that have included saying George Gregan didn't deserve to be Test halfback and blasting the ARU for not having a back-up for Stephen Larkham.

...he's right about the last one though.
Thing is...there is NO back up for Larkham because there is no substitute for the real thing.

Russell Morris knew what he was singing about...

"Why should I worry (the jersey presentation snub)? Life's too short," Campese said in the Daily Telegraph.
I'm a columnist now and I think if you've got a strong point of view you voice it. I don't whisper behind people's backs. I say what I think and people know where I stand."

...damn he needs a blog....bayad...

As much as I hate to say anything disparaging about anyone and anything associated with Australian Rugby...except the ARU, they're not associated, they're the association... David Campese is full of sh...don't say it...

Campese may be a columnist but I have it in good stead that he's not a writer.

As in...not the writer for his column...think Caspar with a pen...and what thugby league 'columnists'...oh... excuse me for a second....

...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha!!!!!!...

I'm good now. Where was I?

...thugby league (breathe) columnists do.


Campese said his comments on the Wallabies are warranted and he points to the statistics as back-up.
"What do they want me to write – that the Wallabies are great every week, they're fantastic and they're always playing great rugby? You'd only be kidding yourself to do that," said Campese.

Well Campo...you could try being morally nice and boosting morale and providing support to the team name..the name that made your name.

After all...you were on the receiving end of some pretty scathing media attacks...and if I recall correctly, you thought it was UNFAIR and POOR FORM and NOT RIGHT and something that MS Painters would do.

Well, okay I made the last one up. But it could be true.....


"
Take a look at the record and tell me if I've been too harsh in recent seasons.

"The Wallabies have played 15 games away from home over the past five years against New Zealand, South Africa and France, and they have not won one of them. Not one.

"How do I make that look better?

"They haven't beaten South Africa in South Africa since 2000.

"Am I supposed to be saying how good that is? These days no one seems to do anything wrong yet the results are not what you'd call sensational."

Now this is Cubism.
An art form where the artist depicts the subject from a variety of viewpoints to represent the subject as a bigger picture...and it still doesn't make any freakin' sense.

Caustic? Me? Noooo.

I'm just fed up of people like Campese and his blogger doppelgangers.

...I'm outta here.



image courtesy of www.abc.net.au




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George Gregan. LeGGend.

June 19th 2007 16:44
George Gregan image courtesy of GeorgeGregan.com
...scrumhalf cup = espresso...


GG as World's Fastest Barista!...outside one of his Espresso Bars. When he's not working Rugby, he's working coffee machines and registers.

No one can deny the worth of this Man.
Even those who have denied it.

GG just keps proving his naysayers wrong time and time again...and for those of us, whose faith and loyalty never wavers...well, by George...he's a player par excellence....


George Musarurwa Gregan (born 19 April 1973 in Lusaka, Zambia) is an Australian rugby union scrum-half who has made more appearances for his national team than any other player in the sport's history.

He has captained the team to many victories and he is respected throughout the rugby world for his tenacity, tactical skill, leadership ability, and sportsmanship, but is also known for his 'talk-back' to referees.

Gregan has played Super 14 for the ACT Brumbies since the inception of that competition in 1996, helping to lead them to overall victories in 2001 and 2004.

He is a foundation Brumbies player and one of the few players whose careers span over both the amateur and professional eras.


George Gregan Interview - Career Reflection




The George Gregan Foundation, established in August 2005, is a long term vision of George Gregan and his wife Erica.
The idea for this Foundation was born in 2004 when their son Max was diagnosed with epilepsy. They spent time in hospital with Max and experienced first hand the needs of many sick children and their families.
The Foundation aims to raise funds for specific projects targeting children


info and image courtesy of GeorgeGregan.com



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In the wild. The grrrRugby wild.

Here are some images from the match on Saturday 16/06 betwen the Australian Wallabies and the South African Springboks.

I suppose I should write a little more about the match...a post match(!) but...what's the point.
Game over.
We won. The respect of millions. Even if we didn't win the match
...besides...the Wallabies will always be winners to me.

Except when they don't have Larkham playing.
Or Gregan. Or they have Fauxwards on field.
Or they piss me off.

****************

George Gregan image courtesy of Rugby Heaven



"You think you can get past me? I don't think so. I'm George Gregan.
You're just done four...."


George Gregan about to tackle SA winger Ashwin Willemse.
image courtesy of Rugby Heaven

**************************

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God image courtesy of Rugby Heaven


"No...this is not what I mean when I say he's a lean machine..."

Jean de Villiers (SA #12 inside centre) tries to run but cannot hide from Stephen Larkham.
image courtesy of Rugby Heaven

**************************

Stephen Larkham aka OUCH image courtesy of Open Road Magazine


"Now this....is a lean machine. And the car looks good too..."

A Man-ahh-ohhhh with his Monaro
Stephen Larkham aka O-My-God-Look-at-those-arms image scanned from Open Road magazine (April 06) cover.

...and yes it doesn't fit this post. What of it? Wanna take me on? Huh?
It does fit the theme of animals in the wild...he is in Brumbies regalia...

*************************

Okay....caption this one:

Rocky Elsom image courtesy of Rugby Heaven


"............................ ..................."

Rocky Elsom throws (poor) SA #14 winger Ashwin Willemse out of the way.
image courtesy of Rugby Heaven





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We Were Robbed Of 5 Points!

June 16th 2007 16:00
Okay...so The Wallabies didn't win but we didn't lose either. Yes, yes, technically we did but we showed 'em.

The Springboks will be nursing some major injuries tomorrow...and not just to their bodies. To their pride as well.

For the moment I have only this to say because it is now 1:40am and I am tired. I have just played a major test match and I need some rest now....

We were robbed.

I said The Wallabies would win by 5 points and we should have won by 5 points.

In the 34th minute...when Giteau kicked and chased the ball over the tryline...he did not touch the ball....but....STEPHEN LARKHAM DID.

Larkham grounded that ball and we should have been awarded a try but that stupid stupid STUPID ref (Wayne Barnes), who throughout the entire match, was as pedantic as a jealous readerless blogger, didn't bother calling upon the TMO's and Video Refs to judge whether or not a try had just occurred.


So many little little mistakes that cost us the match.

The Boks were relentless in dfense and put us under a lot of pressure and very early in the match showed their home country superiority.

It was always going to be difficult for the Wallabies in Cape Town. The crowd was pumped. The Boks were primed. And we were f**ked. At first.

...but the Wallabies eventually, through disciplined phases of play and simple strategy like pick and drives, managed to get ahead...despite the fact that for most of the first half, the Boks had about 80% possesion of the ball.

Everytime we got into their territory we came away with points. Why we lost this match is a mystery to me.
Well, it's not. Technically I know why we lost the match (wayward kicking, too much kicking, bad handling, missing the gaps) but still....

....The Springboks are the best Rugby team (technically speaking) in the world at the moment and really the should have won this match before it started but they were scrambling. Showing th calibre of their professionalism, they didn't let the Wallabies stun them in to inaction but nevertheless....at half time the score was

Wallabies 16 - Springboks 10

Will write more about the match later.

A few things;

1. Pudding aka Matt Dunning (#1) actually impressed me tonight. He actually did some work and sure he tripped a lot but he managed to trip at the right times over the right people to do the right thing so mayb it wasn't a fluke after all.

2. Gregan is a genius.

3. refs are dicks.

4. Stephen Larkham is a total and utter and incredible Man. And if you had watched this match you would have seen how badly he got rucked, mauled, tackled and battered but he still kept going.
One tackle saw him caught in a high tackle by that absolute bastard Schalk Berger (SA #6...and a total bastard), who made sure Stephen's nose was embdded firmly in his arm then the absolute and total bastard pushed Larkham's face into the ground and ground his face against the...ground.
I was this close...this close to bashing Berger's head in.
He's lucky I am in Sydney and not over there.
Yeah.

5. I loathe Percy 'pretty boy' Montgomery (SA #15). He is a brilliant player.

6. Am truly sad that John Smit (SA #2 & Captain) is injured and yet...not.

7. Drop Goals should be banned. If not kicked by an Australian.

This is how the match was won by the Boks. 2 drop goals.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....GRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..........

This was a a ferocious and fast and at times dirty (The Boks don't play fair with their poking eyes and kicking balls...no....the other kind of balls...) match and a despite the fact we didn't win (because we were robbed)...it was Rugby. How it almost should be.


There's so much more I want to say but I'm fading. Fast.


What's that?

Oh. The fulltime score?

Okay.

Wallabies 19 - Springboks 22

That's all she wrote folks. For now.



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Well, that's my minimum call on this one. The minimum by which we will win by.
Yeah go ahead, laugh it up but my faith in the Wallabies will never waiver.
Until next year...

...sort of forgot that this is a Larkham Rugby blog and I should have posted a Rugby piece earlier because there is a major match on tonight and it's not that I forgot about the match (nah hell no!)....it's just that...I was too busy enjoying the Pleasures of life...the non Guilty ones....like my family...and it being Friday (not today), and the end of a work week, and today was all about being with the M.I.P.s' of my life....

We went to see 'Shrek 3'.
And am I the only totally disappointed? The 11yo and BF enjoyed.

The childults thought it was just...ohhh...grrrr...swamped over and rushed.

And you better believe movies like this are all about and for the childults. Why else would they (for those of you who have seen it) put the sexually suggestive humour in huh?

And my GOD. Justin Timberlake sounds like a 12 yo boy.

Oh. He is?

Anewayyy.

Yes.....there is a match on tonight...soon.....oh my God...in less than 30 minutes...eeek!!!

Here is one of the reason's the Springboks should be worried. Very worried.
(This try is from a 2006 test match against the Boks)

Stephen Larkham v Springboks 2006 image courtesy of www.rugby.com.au
...major guilty pleasure...


Wallabies v Springboks
Newlands, Cape Town
(for the Tri Nations and Mandela Plate)

Saturday, 16 June
Kick off 3.00pm (local time).
LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 10.30pm AEST.
Delay in Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time).
LIVE at 10.30pm AEST on Fox Sports 1.


The Springboks have been showing the best form in international Rugby over the past month. Yeah whatever.
...but....the Boks forwards are brilliant....and dammit...they all want to crunch Larham's bones... I would have said "jump" but that's just mean...

The Bok Forwards are dominating the lineout and scrum, and finally the pretty little Bok Backs are earning their money instead of standing there waiting for the camera to turn on them so that they can strike a pose and look busy.

And no I don't care that the South Africans dominated this years Super 14.

I will say this..if there is one player I think is absolutely fabulous (and a bit of a grrrr..hunk) is John Smit, the Springboks Captain.

And I really like making fun of pretty boy Percy Montgomery who looks a bit like Prince Charming from 'Shrek' but dammit he's an amazing player. And a really nice guy but you didn't hear that from me.

Players to be feared and respected in bold.
So that would be the Forwards but I have also bold-ed the Backs...as players to keep an eye on. Just in case they make a sudden move.

Springboks:

Forwards:
1. Gurthro Stenkamp, 2. John Smit (captain), 3. BJ Botha, 4. Bakkies Botha, 5. Victor Matield, 6. Schalk Burger, 7. Juan Smith, 8. Pierre Spies;

Backs:
9. Ruan Pienaar, 10. Butch James, 11. JP Pietersen, 12. Jean de Villiers, 13. Jacque Fourie, 14. Ashwin Willemse, 15. Percy Montgomery.

Reserves:
16. Gary Botha, 17. CJ van der Linde, 18. Johann Muller, 19. Danie Rossouw, 20. Michael Claassens, 21.Wynand Olivier, 22. Francois Steyn.

*************************

The Wallabies have started their test season with 3 wins. Albeit a bit lacklustre. And way out of sync.

However....they've seen the light and it's name is Dusk...the squad is sort of the way I want it. It would be much better if I was somewhere in there in the Forward pack but I can't tell them what to do and play.

The backline magic:
9 The Guv (George Gregan)
10 Demi God (needs no explanation)
12 Hobbiteau (Matt Giteau)
14 Dorklock (Stirling Mortlock)

The Front Row?...do not expect anything good...Pudding aka Matt Duh-nning (Dunning) is there.

As before;
Players to be feared and respected in bold.
So that would be some of the Forwards but I have also bold-ed the Backs...as players to keep an eye on. Especially that #10...I've heard he's a quite a man....


Wallabies

Forwards:
1. Matt Dunning, 2. Stephen Moore, 3. Guy Shepherdson, 4. Nathan Sharpe, 5. Dan Vickerman, 6. Rocky Elsom, 7. George Smith (v-capt), 8. Wycliff Palu,

Backs:
9. George Gregan, 10. Stephen Larkham, 11. Lote Tuqiri, 12. Matt Giteau, 13. Stirling Mortlock (capt), 14. Drew Mitchell, 15. Julian Huxley.

(actually, I'm not being fair...this is a great backline...all of them...)

Reserves:
16. Adam Freier, 17. Al Baxter, 18. Mark Chisholm, 19. Stephen Hoiles, 20. Phil Waugh, 21. Adam Ashley-Cooper, 22. Mark Gerrard


Go The Wallabies!!!!



That gorgeous image courtesy of the ARU site...www.rugby.com.au




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Following on from my last post about Stephen Larkham (...yeah...which one?...I heard that...), some of the comments made me think of other injuries sustained by SL...and by others...playing Rugby and in other ways.

Okay...Rugby is a tough game. It's a contact sport, of course there's going to be injuries but before I go further, please understand one thing...Rugby players are trained to withstand injury. Their muscles are trained to 'boing'...bounce off an injury.

(All athletes are but because they're professional athletes, there will be more wear and tear on the body due to constant use and battering.)

Rugby may be perceived as a violent sport but the ‘violence’ is controlled, the aggressiveness is trained and restrained and 'focused'.

Rugby is a game of mental acuity embodied by physical prowess.

Yes there have been some bad injuries but these are anomolies.
NB: children do not tackle and engage in scrums til a certain age and even then they have different laws 'til about 19

Anyway...this is not meant to be a serious post. It's a post like all my other ones...tee hee...

Larkham's nose injury is truly not that big a deal. Not in comparison to other injuries he has had to deal with. He's a Rugby player and even though he is considered 'fragile' he is still a Rugby player and he is still, by human standards....superhuman.

Backs are more prone to injury because of their body shape. They are generally leaner and faster than Forwards who need to be brick walls. And Forwards very rarely get injured. Their muscles are thicker than steel. Their bones are made of steel.
Their nerves...yep...steel.

Which is why I pay SL the highest compliment of having the heart of a Forward. He knows he's going to get injured, he knows that he gets marked, he is always the target of giant Forwards, he always gets battered...but....he's a damn speedball. Gets pounded time and time again but always rebounds.

As for Gregan...he may be small....but he's never let that get in the way of a good tackle on a player twice his size. Right Jonah?

Actually Gregan hardly ever gets injured. he is considered, relatively speaking, the strongest of the squad, muscle-height ratio wise.

DDH is a former player, a Prop Forward and his shoulders and thighs are huge...still...and at 6'2" and 100kg, he considers himself 'small' for a Forward but the only injuries he had on a Rugby field were broken noses.
His biggest injury came from waterskiing. He used to race. And hitting the water at 200kmh...well....think concrete. Think broken ribs.
Think playing Rugby and getting tackled and engaging in a scrum with broken ribs.


Our family is big on what some people call extreme sports. We waterski, snowski, play Rugby and I love shopping at sales...

Hey. It's dangerous to get between a woman and something she really really has to have....that's now half price.

I haven't sustained any major sporting injuries.
I broke my right foot playing hockey...it was hanging on by a thread of my little toe bone... totally cool...and then I fainted.

I fell off my motorbike once...pretending to be Doohan overtaking Wayne Rainey and becoming the 500cc World Champion...BUT...I wasn't actually moving at that stage.

I just kinda....fell. Standing astride my bike. In the driveway. Hadn't even turned on the ignition.

....hysterical laughter!!!!!!!!!

...but yes I have fallen off my bike whilst actually moving but I like the above story better.

Waterskiing...don't go fast enough to turn water into concrete...water doesn't hurt at 80km. Much.

Snowskiing...well the only injury done has been to my pride. It really sucks when a jump goes bad...and skis go flying....and you're faceplanted, eating snow....

...as much as I hate to admit this...I haven't had any major Rugby injury. Just bruises. Bummer.

It's all about commitment. If you want to do something well...whatever it is...you have to commit it to it. You have to see it through. You have to put your brain and body on the line.

This is a Rugby players creed. Commit Thyself. First On field. Then To An Asylum....

BUT...if you really want to know what it means to be a Rugby player, then I can only cite this player's story.

And although I hate the fact that he is an All Black (NZ national team...not that important really...!)...the respect and awe Rugby fans feel for this man...and the pain other men feel in sympathy.....oh man......

Wayne 'Buck' Shelford is a former All Black captain ('87-'90) credited with 'refining' the traditional 'Ka Mate' haka the ABs' perform before the start of their matches.

Shelford was a good player and an excellent captain. He led by example...and oh God. What. An. Example.

...and this good people....is INTESTINAL FORTITUDE......

It was during only his second test for the All Blacks that he suffered a ripped scrotum after being rucked by a French player, which left one testicle hanging free.

He also lost four teeth during the ruck.

After discovering the injury to his scrotum, he calmly asked the physio to stitch up the tear and returned to the field and played out the rest of the game, which the All Blacks lost.



Well sportsfans...beat that.




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Larkham Nose What Will Happen....

June 12th 2007 15:12
....and oh my god, he's still going to play...

read on...and wince.


from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Larkham has a nose for the inflammatory
Greg Growden
Monday, June 11, 2007

Stephen Larkham's nose is a big blob - and he's none too impressed by it. As the Wallabies pivot admitted after the Fiji Test, he's starting to look like the old Parramatta league workhorse and now Wallabies defensive coach John Muggleton.

No, Muggo, marvellous character that you are, Larkham's observation is not a compliment.

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God aka yum yum yum yum YUM!!
...a nose by any other name...would still smell so sweet a man. What? Never mind...


NB. this image is not from the Wallabies v Fiji game.

That nose is not a blob job. That nose is beautiful.

Yet again Larkham plays in a Test and gets bashed. But this time not from a frenzied opponent, aiming to maim Australia's chief playmaker, but instead a missed tackle in the opening minutes, an accidental collision, and his nose suddenly becomes a fat, lumpy, broken schnoz.

I haven't been able to find a photo of this...but from what i could see during the match, it's not quite fat and lumpy.
It is broken though. And he played on.
Now that's a Rugby player. That's the heart of a Forward.
That's a Man.

And he knows those nasty South Africans are just waiting to see a graphic photograph of his hooter, so they know exactly what they have to charge at in Cape Town next weekend.

Ohhhhh noooooooooooooo. Bad Boks. Bad bad Boks.*


Larkham is accustomed to being a marked man, especially in Springboks territory, but it doesn't stop this fearless operator from trying to prick away at them in the hope that at last Australia can enjoy a victory in South Africa.
The Wallabies have been impatiently waiting since 2000 for such a moment.

Late on Saturday night, as the official Test function went on behind him, with the Fijian singing, involving a special cameo appearance by Lote "Tony Bennett" Tuqiri in full cry, Larkham said: "There are certainly weaknesses in the Springbok game, which we've noticed already on video. And we'll certainly be studying the video very diligently the next couple of days."

Then Larkham smiled, as best he could.

....and Dusk fainted.....





*Whatchu got me for Ash????



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I used to ride a Yamaha FZR 250.
Valentino Rossi rides a Yamaha YZR-M1 800.

I once rode to Philip island.
Valentino Rossi...well....if I have to explain who he is....then the punchline of the title is lost on you and you'll probably scribble a post about How To Write A Title (Chapter 4 in The World According To Carp...)


Wallabies image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au...minus the question...

Fiji team image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au


Wallabies 49 v Fiji 0
Saturday June 9th 2007
Subiaco Oval, Perth, Australia.

Paulini of Australian Idol fame sang both the Australian and Fijian National Anthems, which I thought was a nice touch, considering she is a Fijian born Australian...and she actually has a purty darn good voice....and it's fitting, the whole Australian Idol tag...she's standing in front of a whole bunch of them.

What really annoys me about blatant mismatches like this one is why a rich sporting institution like the ARU insist on having an international test match in Perth and make a 'poor' sporting country travel all that way to get their asses creamed because face it...for Fiji to win this match, they needed to play against themselves.

As I have said before...Fiji is a great and talented Rugby nation....at Sevens Rugby. They don't click as a first 15 and for 80minutes.

The Fijian team was lacking the majority of their players, (many of whom will be part of their World Cup team) because they're all overseas but still...it was a full strength squad and still they didn't click.

Fijians are considered fast and exceptional players and are scattered all over the world and Australia and especially NZ owe a big debt to them.

NZ owes them the All Blacks.

England owes them their domestic premiership teams.

Aneewayyy...a few points that spring to mind;

1. The Fijians are in awe of George Gregan and many secretly believe he is Fijian. (He's not, he was born in Namibia)

2. Lote Tuqiri obviously sees himself as a role model. He's not. He's an ex league player. Fijian born.

3. The Fiji team finds it very difficult to build cohesion due to the fact that their 'main' team consists of players who are based overseas.
They don't have enough time to train together, to play together, to focus together...and with beaches like this...how could you?

Natadola Beach, Fiji © DuskDevi 2005


...but seriously now...

4. It was really cool to see an Indian name in the Fijian team. Their flyhalf #10 Jack Prasad. No, Jack is not the Indian name. And he's not quite Indian. Maybe a quarter but still... in a country that has had so much racially based problems on the surface, when the reality is that Fiji is as much Indian as it is indigenous Fijian...it's good to see.

5. Phil Kearns (ex Wallabies Captain and legendary hooker...no, not prostitute...#2 position in the front row....sigh...) asked where Jeremy Paul is.

Good question Phil. We'd all like to know.

...and final point....

What the hell is with all the patting on the ass after a try has been scored????

There's too much patting on the backsides...that's because the backs spend so much time looking at the Forwards asses...note, Forwards don't do this, they ruffle heads...
- DDH

Now I completely understand why everyone would want to pat Stephen Larkham's ass...it's just so...compatible...but I wish they'd stop. Just stop. Makes my hand tingle...

Anyway. God darn it woman! Get on with it! Maybe this is why you are not employed by the boys club Australian Rugby media...Larkham's butt and you lose it....

The Fijians were very nervous. As their Captain said at the end of the match, this was something they usually see on TV, a Wallabies match...and here they were playing against them and even though they didn't score a single point against the Wallabies, at times, the Fijian defence held up really well.

The Wallabies really should have scored a century.

It's no excuse to say that the Wallabies were not at full strength.
Yes, they were missing the Forwards....Nathan Sharpe, Rocky Elsom and Wycliff Palu were on their way to South Africa...but at least they had Mark Chisolm, Dan Vickerman, George Smith, Benn Robinson, Al Baxter and we'll just ignore Matt Duh-nning....

...but the Fijians made stupid decisions. I would have loved to see them score some points but when they had the ball in hand to run with, they kicked and when they decided to run, they lost the ball.
Plus just to really rub it in, the team was reduced to 14-men when Henry Qiodravu was sent to the sin-bin just before half-time.

(and get this...one of their star players, a Prop, was not allowed into the country because he's a private in the Fijian Army. Come onnnnn people....this is Rugby...not politics. If we were talking about the ARU...then that would be a different matter...)

Their standout player was their scrumhalf, Mosese Rauluni who did what all good scrumhalves do...make a pest out of themselves!

Although Rauluni standing out is not hard for him to do because he comes from a family of Rugby players, was brought up in Rugby mad Brisbane and and is currently scrumhalf for Saracens club in England.

The one major difference...and quite scary....in the Wallabies phase of play is that when Stephen Larkham just passes and doesn't penetrate the holes like he usually he does...hold up...why am I giggling?....God I'm sick....it slows down the game but I suppose this was strategy...a tactic to ensure Stephen doesn't do his usual manouvre of drawing opposition players to him and getting hurt* before the BIG match this weekend (in South Africa v the Springboks).

However....in the 2nd half, he let loose...I love love love the way SL does not go in the direction he looks!
This really messes with the opposition players heads and he just makes everything look so easy.

So the Wallabies manged to score 8 tries;

Demi God 1
- too easy. Step, step, turn, triple back somersault followed by a roundhouse kick to someones ass, smile, slow motion then ground the ball then wave to Dusk the crowd

Lote Tuqiri 2
- yeah...good...he was on fire but it's all too rare and he was showing off in front of his former countrymen. At least he showed some hunger for the ball after a lacklustre Super 14 but I believe this was die to Digby Ioane's superb debut playing Tuqiri's usual position, which really scared him!

Scott Staniforth 2
- always a good player to have around and he was on fire because he was playing on home turf and this was agreat chance for him to get noticed by the selectors, which means they'll ignore him. AND his second try just inside the corner flag, was set up by a great pass from...sigh...Stephen...


Julian Huxley 1
- the little pretty boy was not on boot. He landed just three out of eight conversion kicks but he scored a try. And he actually ran with the ball. Lucky. His kicking sucked.

Sam Norton-Knight 1
- little Mr wannabee-Larkham-keep-trying- weenie-boy was fairly non-impressive although he did score a try....his debut try mind you...but I also believe that this was 'given' to him by Mark Chisolm.

I love this about Rugby....players, usually forwards, Gregan and Larkham are quite happy to share their limelight...Chisholm could have quite easily taken the try but he chose to pass it inside to S N-K, thus granting him his first test try.

Adam Ashley-Cooper 1
- manged to ground the ball after a clever kick from winger Drew Mitchell.


Tuqiri was voted Man of the Match. Whatever.

Larkham always gets my vote.




*despite his safe tactics...SL did get hurt...post coming up....have wiped away my tears....



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Strictly a Rugby story sportsfans!

from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Wallabies read riot act
Greg Growden Chief Rugby Correspondent
Friday, June 8, 2007

An advance party of Wallabies travelling to Cape Town tonight have been warned to be on their best behaviour in the wake of previous controversies involving Australian rugby tourists in the same city, including one player being sent home.

Although Australia play Fiji at Subiaco Oval tomorrow night, six players will miss the match and travel to Cape Town to prepare for the following weekend's Tri Nations opener against South Africa at Newlands.
Rocky Elsom, Mark Gerrard, Matt Giteau, Wycliff Palu, Nathan Sharpe and Guy Shepherdson will be accompanied by three team officials - manager Phil Thomson, *skills coach Alex Evans and trainer Jason Weber.

The rest of the Wallabies travel to South Africa on Sunday night.

...obviously not a drinking skills coach...and "advance party"?? What? They're on stakeout? Hunting Springboks?


The Wallabies were recently warned by team management that they will not accept any form of bad behaviour on tour - especially in a city where players had been involved in numerous unsavoury incidents. As one Wallabies team management member said last night: "They know the circumstances if they step out of line."

Apart from the infamous Cape Town taxi affair involving the ACT Brumbies*, the Wallabies last trip to this city in 2005 was a nightmare, capped off by Matt Henjak becoming the first Wallaby sent home from a tour in 39 years following a nightclub incident in which he threw the contents of a glass at other patrons.

*Joe Roff....and what a story.
Of course the whole truth was never publicised but what happened was this;
a group of Brumbies went out drinking at the local troughs...they got drunk, went for a ride in a local taxi, saw some children playing on the side of the road, taxi driver made racist remarks about the children....the players asked the driver to stop...the got out of the taxi....and tipped it over.

End of story.

Lote Tuqiri and Wendell Sailor were each fined $500 and received two-match bans, suspended for two years, for staying out too late at a nightclub, while Matt Dunning, who also went out but returned to the team hotel earlier, was fined $500.

On the same tour, the Wallabies were ridiculed in the local media when it was revealed that they had been involved in a team game at a Cape Town restaurant, where some players admitted to having a morbid fascination in eating each other.

Okay. This is weird sounding...but it wasn't like that at all.
Am in a rush so can't explain the full story but....will say this...of course anyone would want to eat Larkyummmmmmm.............

Two days later the Wallabies lost the Nelson Mandela Challenge Plate with an appalling performance against the Springboks in Johannesburg.

Meanwhile, good behaviour of a different kind has been demanded in Perth, with the coaching staff planning to remind their new Test second-rower James Horwill not to get carried away with his emotions in his debut international.

Horwill is a traditional second-rower who loves standing his ground and being assertive. As Wallabies coach John Connolly explained: "James is a good player, and a real tough bugger." Yet Horwill's aggression has regularly seen him spend plenty of time cooling off in the sin bin.

"That's the way I like to play football," Horwill said yesterday. "There's no point changing that, and I think it would be smart to stick to what I do best. It's got me in trouble here and there, with some yellow cards and stern 'talking-to's from the referee. But I am attempting to control my aggression."

Oh. priceless.


Gotta go sportsfans.

Have a great weekend.





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Wallabies v Fiji: Will This Be...

June 8th 2007 07:48
...a bit like a bula* in a China shop.....?

Will The Wallabies trample all over the valiant Fijians? Again.
Or will the Fijian Island Warrior spirit rise....and stay...for the duration?

Fiji hasn't defeated the Wallabies since 1954 but....these 2 teams have been pooled together for the World Cup and will use this match to test each other out before they meet again in September.
Fiji is considered a 'second tier' Rugby team.
The Wallabies are 'first tier'.

This is the 3rd match in the Bundaberg Rum Rugby Series.

Wallabies v Fiji logo


Date and Venue:
Saturday June 9th, Subiaco Oval, Perth,

Kickoff:
8pm AEST, 6pm WA.

Telecast times:
- LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 7.30pm AEST.
- Delay telecast in Melbourne and Adelaide on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time).
- *Delay in Perth on Channel 7 from 10.30pm (local time).
- LIVE at 7.30pm AEST on Fox Sports 2

*How ridiculous and funny is this??? the match is played in Perth yet Perth fans won't get to watch it on TV until later on in the night...sounds like a John O'Neill type decision...well, I don't know that for a fact but it could be okay?


Right...let's check out the squad...and yes, that is code for 'let's see if Stephen (sigh) is playing"...which I am very surprised about actually.
I did think that the Coach would want to 'rest' him (....I'd like to arrest him...grrr.... whoops... damn...am sleeptyping again...) but obviously this is a more important match than they're letting on, due to the World Cup pooling.

I do have a very soft spot for Fiji. These guys are brilliant at Rugby...albeit at Sevens. They ruled the Hong Kong Sevens...so much so that one year that they won (and I think they had won consecutively for a few years), a public holiday was gazetted and celebrated. Awwwright....my kind of country!

Unfortunately, although they produce excellent Rugby players*, they don't produce team stamina so they don't last the distance.
They show flashes of brilliance and exciting play, still gee-ed up by their pre-match war dance, the Cibi (like the haka but more intimidating, pronounced 'thimbi') but they fizzle out before half-time.

*No international team is complete unless they have a Fijian player
eg. Lote Tuqiri (Waratahs and Wallabies), Jone Tawake (Brumbies) and Joe Rokocoko for some insignificant team who think they're All that, from NZ.....


The Wallabies:

Major changes to the Forward pack....yet another brilliant example of stupidity by the selectors.
Lock Dan Vickerman is the only one to keep his place.
Happy to see Al Baxter in the front row but oh god...or at least a moron selector...please tell me why Matt Dunning aka Pudding is there. All he does is grunt and go nowhere and he doesn't even do that fast.

And Phil Waugh is Captain?
....because...why?...Paris Hilton was in jail at the time of selection so they decided to choose the next worst candidate?
Okay...that's a bit harsh.
How about....Paris Hilton was unavailable at the time so they chose the next available and useless blonde?

Where the hell is Wyclif Palu? Where is Rocky Elsom? Where is Nathan Sharpe?

Oh, that's right. They've been shipped off to South Africa for next week's match.
Post coming up.

As I sighed earlier, Larkyum is playing.....but not the whole match.
The one thing everyone likes to do is play rough with Larkham.
Yes, I'm no exception.... but in all seriousness, this is a problem.

Casual observers of the game do not realise how many hits Larkham takes. The opponents primary objective is to take him out so it is with some mixed relief that I and other Rugby fans and The Wallabies will be feeling....that Larkham won't be playing the full 80 minutes.

Great. There goes my Rugby night.

Fact is, playing Larkham against Fiji and their Island warrior players is a "major gamble", especially with the "important tests" coming up...The TriNations...The Bledisloe.

....but apparently, the selectors believe
....Larkham needs another run after missing the first Test against Wales. But he will still only play about 50 minutes against Fiji, before being replaced by Sam Norton-Knight.
....however Hobiteau (Matt Giteau) is likely to take over as flyhalf if Larkham gets injured during the Tri Nations.

Great. There goes my Rugby season.

Brilliant news though....Gregan is back as Lord of the Scrumhalves! yayyyyyy!!!!!...and why the hell is he not Captain instead of Vice Captain?

Cannot believe they dumped last week's fantastic debut-winger Digby Ioane for Lote Tuqiri. I guess it's the Fiji thing to do.
Also cannot believe that Mortlock is on the bench.
He really should have been rested. The man is not looking well.....but he's still Vice Captain.

Interesting to see Scott Staniforth (#12) and Adam Ashley-Cooper (#13) on start-up. Staniforth has been out injured and if anything, he should be on the bench but I guess they want to test the combination...

The selectors also know that if they are going to give their new centre combination of Scott Staniforth and Adam Ashley-Cooper the best chance to excel, they must spend some time outside the experienced halves combination of Larkham and George Gregan.
Australia's biggest problem is getting proper back-up at halfback, five-eighth and inside centre, and selectors are using this Test to gauge whether Staniforth is up to Test standard at inside centre.

We'll see...

(numbers denote positions on field and not calibre nor quality...except Larkham really is the Perfect 10....and Matt Dunning would be minus gazillion if this was the case...)

The Forwards:
1. Matt Dunning, 2. Adam Freier, 3. Al Baxter, 4. James Horwill, 5. Dan Vickerman, 6. Mark Chisholm, 7. Phil Waugh (c), 8. David Lyons

The Backs:
9. George Gregan (vc), 10. Stephen Larkham, 11. Lote Tuqiri, 12. Scott Staniforth, 13. Adam Ashley-Cooper, 14. Drew Mitchell, 15. Julian Huxley.

Reserves:
16. Stephen Moore, 17. Benn Robinson, 18. Stephen Hoiles, 19. George Smith
20. Sam Cordingley, 21. Sam Norton-Knight, 22. Stirling Mortlock (vc).


Fiji:

Some good players to watch....although the team has not been in good form.
Fiji has played three games in the 2007 Pacific Nations Cup so far this season with indifferent results. It lost 8-3 loss to Samoa in the first round, came back from a half-time deficit to beat Japan 30-15, before being trounced 57-8 by the New Zealand B team - the Junior All Blacks in Suva last week.

Their Captain Alifereti Doviverata at #8, Henry Qiodravu at prop #3 and Apolosi Satala at flanker #6 should make the big difference in an otherwise very inexperienced squad, especially the Backs.

This will be a very telling match.

Go The Wallabies!!




*bula - Fijian word for Hello



78
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Oh No. It's O'Neill Before Me....

June 8th 2007 03:24
He's back. Smaller and louder than ever.

John O'Neill.

Former CEO of the Australian Rugby Union ('95-'03).
Permanent Scourge.

I first heard this (now substantiated) rumour way back in April, hoping it was just an April Fool's Day joke stretched out....I screeched a post about it....

I cannot believe he's back. This guy is harder to get rid of than soap scum mixed with putty painted over with glue and then covered with cement.

O'Neill is considered to be the most successful ARU boss ever...and that's because he's a limelight hogging cretin, me-deep in self glory who only cares about what he looks like handing the trophies out and this is what spurs him on to succeed.

Granted, his tenure was during and leading into the age of Professional Rugby and this did require a certain type of personality to ensure its success...and he did make the 2003 Rugby World Cup a success...but at what cost?

As I wrote in a reply comment on the first post (and quoting myself is not plagiarism...it's laziness...big difference):

O'Neill made Rugby Union more about the money than the love.

He hated George Gregan, didn't want him as Captain, leaked stories to the media to discredit him (was a rumour then a fact), and a lot of the Wallabies hated him.

...and he made Rugby Union out of reach of the 'average' lover of the game...the ones who couldn't afford to pay an arm, leg and kidney to take their families to watch a game of Rugby.
He reveled in the whole Boys Club crap.

AND...he allowed the 'poaching' of league players.

AND...He may be credited as making the '03 Rugby World Cup a success but the RWC was also known as the John O'Neill show.

The man's ego is bigger than his head. (And that's saying something)

He may be very good at what he does but he does it for the wrong reasons.

O'Neill resigned from the ARU in December '03 because...finally...the ARU board decided he was a limelight hogging cretin me-deep in glory. And the Rugby world rejoiced.
Unfortunately, he was replaced with a pansy...Gary Flowers.

He then went on to hog the glory at the FFA and supposedly
.. ushered in a golden era in soccer in Australia with the launch of the highly successful Hyundai A-League as well as seeing the Socceroos to the World Cup for the first time in 32 years.

Oh yeah. That had nothing to do with the actual Socceroos and their coach. Noooo. All O'Neill's doing.

What I want to know is, if he was so damned successful there, why didn't he stay there? Why did he resign?

And why...WHY?...is he back at Australian Rugby??????
Who did he promise not to sleep with?

Is there no justice?

First *Paris Hilton gets let out of jail and now this.....

This is what Mr Cretin has to say about it;

"I'm not a Messiah. I'm going to need a lot of help, the board is very clear about where they want the game to go, and I've got to be an agent of change in affecting the strategies the board has set down," O'Neill said.

No, he's not a Messiah. He's not even a naughty boy.
He's just a naught. A big fat O... Neill.

An agent of change huh?
Licensed to kill everything that is good about the game they play in heaven.

John O'Neill is diabl-O seven....


"I'm here to unite the game, a bit of a circuit breaker if you like, I hope, to be able to bring everyone together with a whole set of common objectives."

The common objective? O'Neill's glory.

"And in a World Cup year to make sure the Wallabies are given the best possible chance of performing at their optimum".

What are they? Cars? What's he going to do? Pump them full of fuel and go vrroom?

He also said he's delighted (delighted??) to return to the game he loves.

What he meant was that he's delighted (delighted??) to return to the game he loves playing...Monopoly.

Funnily enough when asked about the past and what had happened, result being him ousted for the good of all Rugbykind...he went sailing on a raft in Eygpt....in denial.

He said this was all about "looking forward" (no duh dick...this is Rugby, the whole point is to go Forward) and "he is excited to begin working with the ARU board, which he described as exceptional."

Yeah it's exceptional now that he's back on it. When he left, I recall him saying something about how they were all ignorant buffons or something like that. I could be making that up but why let the truth get in the way of a good story?

"These are the dream jobs; but it makes it that much more attractive when you're running a game that basically is in your blood," O'Neill said.

...vampire...he sucked the lifeblood out...

"I grew up with rugby, I've spent a lifetime of trying to play it, trying to coach it, with not a lot of success and a bit more success in managing it."

Trying!!!!!!!!!!!! ha!!!!!!

"I'm just thrilled to be back, I've been away for a few years but being back in such a privileged position is a real dream."

You say dream...the rest of say?

"I never felt it (rugby) was out of my system and truthfully just found myself attracted to it," he said.

Finally. He's out of the closet. John O'Neill is a Braggart.

I'm going to vomit.



*link provided to KylieW's post

Quotes taken from www.sportal.com.au


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Answer me this.

If Matt Giteau does not want to play at #9 (Scrumhalf)....not just because he can't, but also becase...he can't......then why the hell do these freakin' idiot selectors insist on placing him in this position and making themselves look like fools?

Do yourselves a favour gentlemen. Quit while Gregan's ahead.


from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Giteau image courtesy of RugbyHeaven
...c'mere little Hobbiteau...said the Orcs.....


Giteau runs out of desire for No.9 shirt
....I think it's the other way around...
"#9 shirt desires to run out of Giteau"


MATT Giteau would not be bothered if George Gregan took over as Test halfback. In fact, he would encourage it.

Listen dweeb...you encouraging Gregan is like a space cadet encouraging a NASA veteran astronaut.
So far off base...


Giteau made it clear before heading to Perth yesterday that he would be delighted if he was allowed to return to inside centre, and be surrounded by his old Brumbies teammates. He is so accustomed to having Gregan, Stephen Larkham and Stirling Mortlock on each side of him.

Oh? Carrying him?
Bolstering him and making him look good?
And "delighted"?
What next? Cucumber sandwiches and Earl Grey tea?


"Maybe at halfback I went a step backwards last night," Giteau said. "Things definitely improved when George went to halfback, and I went back to inside centre. Everyone probably felt more comfortable with that, and with Stirling outside me, it was like the Brumbies of old.

"So that's what's probably best for the side, especially as George provides experience and direction."

The traitorous little donkey should not ever say Brumbies again. From wild horse to Force... he's a dead-eye...
At least he knows that Gregan and Larkham are Masters...and he's just a paduwannabe...

When Giteau took over as Test halfback during last year's end-of-season Wallabies tour of Europe, he immediately relished the new role. However, the stutters the Wallabies suffered in both Tests against Wales has prompted Giteau to have a re-think.

Prompted Giteau to have a rethink????
Let me think about this....hmmm...no, last I knew, it was the freakin' selectors and Coach who made the decision

"You have to do whatever is best for the side," Giteau said. "I can see what the selectors are trying to do at halfback. With quick ball, I can see why they want me there at halfback, but [in] the first two Tests I really haven't had much of an opportunity to do that."

Gee. And here I thought that a scrumhalf's job is to create opportunity....

Giteau admitted he had felt that he should consistently run from halfback, rather than always provide his backs with quick service, and that may have affected his game. After being a standout in the first Test, Giteau was far more reserved in Brisbane.

"There is probably a few things I'm doing wrong," Giteau said. "But the reason I thought I was there was to run a little bit more and be a threat. That doesn't necessarily mean I have to run all the time, because there are obviously times when I should be passing."

That's right Hobbiteau. It is a team game and it is a running game but what it mostly is you little dick, is a passing game!!!!

Inside centre and halfback are his two main playing options, but Giteau is also aware he may end up being the back-up five-eighth for Larkham at the World Cup.

"I've played a little bit there for the Force, and felt pretty comfortable there. If it happens, it happens. If it does happen, it would be disappointing because it means Bernie [Larkham] is injured again."

...and if that happens....there goes the World Cup. And not just for me.



image courtesy of www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au



101
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Where Is Jeremy Paul?

June 4th 2007 04:25
Where's a JP when you need one?...and if there ever was a team that needs someone to do them justice, it's this man.

Jeremy Paul

Jeremy paul image courtesy of Getty Images


Out of everyone most deserving left out of the 2007 Wallabies squad, it is this man's presence that is most missed. On field and off field.

Jeremy is Australia's most capped hooker and has just completed an excellent Super 14 season...his last, along with fellow Brumbies, George Gregan and Stephen Larkham. (refer to this post)

I don't really know what to say other than I am truly shocked at the decision to leave him out of the Wallabies squad...especially considering there is NO ONE who is a worthy replacement hooker (#2).

Stephen Moore? Who's he?
Adam Freir? Whatever. Good. ...but Good doesn't cut it.


from Sky Sports

Paul hopping mad at Wallabies
By Chris Ellison - Created on 22 May 2007

Australia hooker Jeremy Paul has shown his frustration after being dropped from the national squad.

Paul was excluded from the Wallabies line up by coach John Connolly and will now not play in Tests against Wales and Fiji. He will also miss this year's Tri-Nations tournament against New Zealand and South Africa, it is a decision which has come as a massive shock to the 30-year-old.

Paul displayed his frustration with Connolly and claims the coach has not been consistent when picking his team.

He told the Sydney Daily Telegraph on Tuesday: "At the end of the day, John talks about picking his team on form yet he has picked a captain (Phill Waugh) who has only played a couple of games all season. So where is the picking on form?

Waugh?...what is he good for?...absolutely nothing...


"You can pull the form card out when you want it but at the end of the day it is pretty hard to take."

To make things worse for the New Zealand-born star, the ARU) also refused to release him from his contract and blocked a proposed move to English outfit Gloucester.*

Paul stressed: "I just want to move on with my life. This is not a knee-jerk reaction where I haven't been picked so I am going to spit my dummy."

The experienced Paul - who is Australia's most-capped hooker with 72 Test appearances - withdrew from the Australia A squad which is due to play Tonga in the Pacific Nations Cup on Friday due to a shoulder injury.

He said: "I have got a bad shoulder at the moment, I was pretty happy to play injured for the Brumbies (his club team) but not now. No more jabs."

Coach Connolly has defended his decision to deny the player his release from his ARU contract and claims he may still play again.

He stated: "Jeremy is still very much in World Cup reckoning. Three hookers may well go to France and it is a very contentious position at the moment."

Sean Hardman was called up to replace Paul in the A squad while Stephen Moore and Adam Freier have also been named in the Australia squad.



I have nothing to say. I'm tired. This is all such crap.

JP was the 2005 winner of the John Eales Medal, which recognises:
This is the ultimate award. To be voted the best in your country by your own peers is the highest honour a player can hope to aspire to. Naming this award after Australia's most successful captain ever is fully endorsed by the Players. This has become one of the most sought after and coveted awards in Australian sport.

JP is not just a fantastic Rugby player but a valued teammate, personality wise...an easy, comfortable prankster!...as shown here....he instigated this...and that hunk of a Man standing next to him is always up for a prank too....

Larkham Paul image courtesy of Getty Images
....larking around...a-paul-ing really...




*JP has signed with Gloucester


82
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Who Is James Bevan?

June 4th 2007 02:11
...and why does he have a trophy named after him and why do atrophy and a trophy have such different connotations?
1. atrophy - weakening
2. a trophy - reward for strength



Wallabies v Wales
31 - 0
The James Bevan Trophy

Played on Saturday June 2nd at Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, Australia.

Despite the overwhelming win, this was not a victory.

...but let's go back to the titular question.

The trophy awarded to the winner of the match between Australia and Wales is named The James Bevan Trophy.

James Bevan (1858 - 1938) was the first player to captain Wales in a Rugby international. He was not Welsh, he was born in Australia.
Bevan did not play in Australia nor did he ever play for Australia. He played just once for Wales but as the Captain - the first captain, and firsts always count more than others.

....and this was the inaugural trophy so...if the cup fits...

Now. Let's get on with it. The sorry excuse for a match.

I am not happy.

I'm not going to bother writing anything about the first half because it was just that memorable.
Not.

The only thing I can recall (other than a flash of Larkham's naked thighs brilliance) is the freakin Ref, Paul Honiss (NZ) who obviously has not had enough on camera time this year and he fancies himself as Bogart with Bacall...because if he had interrupted the match anymore than he did, his freakin' whistle would have been been shoved up his freakin'...but we won't go there.

And...oh God....the injury to Welsh winger Chris Czekaj...

Will say this...also....the poor handling (both sides) was not just due to the greasy conditions in Brisbane that night. The Backs forgot to wash their hands after doing their hair.

I'm still on the first half. The nightmare is coming back to me. I gotta tell ya...some of the handling errors completely baffled me. Even the simplest of passing and catching the ball skills failed to gel. (tee hee..refer to above paragraph)

Dorklock (aka Stirling Mortlock #13 outside centre) dropped the ball at a crucial time. Dorkley (aka Julian Huxley #15 fullback) dropped it as soon as the whistle to play sounded and then kicked a dick ball later in the half, punting it into dead ball goal instead of taking a penalty kick....which is something I prefer but in this case, we didn't gain 3 easy points and we also lost the chance to take a lineout near the Welsh line.

George Smith should not have cut his dreadlocks. Like Samson...he has lost his power. Somebody should have woken him up before he came on field.

Dorklock at least redeemed himself with a couple of penalty goals.

...and then halftime break....and whatever was said in the locker room worked and I truly do believe that it was nothing that the Coach mumbled and everything that this man said.

Gregan image courtesy of NZstuff
The leGGend


When George Gregan ran on field 2nd half, you could hear the sighs of relief. From the fans and the players.
This experiment of having Hobbiteau (aka Matt Giteau) at scrum half #9 is not working people. How many times does it have to be s.p.e.l.l.e.d. out for you?

Okay...before I go on, I must clarify this.

Larkham was not at his best. Mind you, his less than best is still more than excellent.
It is World Cup year and he is obviously being careful. Too careful. And I would rather see him not play than see him being careful. He didn't kick at all, which means he is still nursing last week's hamstring injury.

Having said that, Larkham's ability to draw opposition players to him and to take the brunt of the tackle before offloading the ball is awe inspiring.
PLUS...he had a chance to grab and run with the ball, which would have led to an eventual personal try but he chose to tap it on to Nathan Sharpe (from a pass by Wycliff Palu) to Huxley to Digby Ioane's debut try. And the Wallabies first try of the match.

Digby Ioane image cortesy of www.stuff.co.nz
Who you calling a Digby? Oh yeah..me...



Gregan's presence just settled the team and finally, the phases flowed. The ball did what it does best. It passed from hand to hand, player to player then got grounded or kicked where it should be.

AND if I ever hear that George Gregan is ANYTHING LESS THAN THE WORLD"S GREATEST RUGBY UNION SCRUMHALF....I will find you and I will...hurt you.

There is no one better at getting that ball out of the ruck. There is no one better (and believe it or not...Gregan does this a little bit better than Larkham) at engaging the opposition player's eyes...by this I mean Gregan does this thing...where he locks eyes with the opponent...and offloads the ball...and his opponent is left wondering what the hell just happened?
There is no one better at 'listening' to the hooker's signal at feeding the ball into the scrum. There is no one better than Gregan at igniting the wallabies forward bound spark.

There is no better pairing than Gregan and Larkham. On a rugby field that is.

Hobitteau moving back to his favoured position of inseide centre (#12) put the backline in perfect Brumbies sync (although Hobbiteau is a traitorous midget who ran to the Force because those big meanies Gregan and Larkham were always going to be too good to usurp. Oh boo hoo. Call the wah-mbulance)

...and may the Rugby God strike me down and never bestow my wish of being a Wallaby but...the front row sucked.
Why? Why? WhYYYYYYY is Pudding (aka Matt Dunning) allowed anywhere near a Rugby match? Why is Stephen Moore hooker? Who is Stephen Moore? Where is Jeremy Paul? (post coming up)

As per usual, Rocky Elsom and Wycliff Palu proved how good they are at their individual positions with Palu being granted Man of the Match. He more than deserved it. Palu was hungry for the ball and he wasn't going to let anyone else feed him. He went hunting and fed himself.

Wycliff Palu image cortesy of RugbyHeaven
No one gets in my way when I'm hungry


So...in the second half, the Wallabies found their rhythm and found the gaping holes in the Welsh defence. After Digby's try, came a try from the other winger Drew Mitchell (Tuqiri better be worried) and now the score was 24-0.
Then Gregan through a beautiful inside pass to Huxley who chipped it ahead and then gathered a great bounce to ground and...try! 29-0 with Mortlock's conversion still to come.

The last 10 minutes were pretty strong and the Welsh could have saved some face with a try that rampaging Welsh Flanker Colin Charvis surged through with but never say die Wallabies held it up...and the Honiss blew his whistle for the last time. Thank God.



A lot of questions.

Too scary to think that we are only a few matches away from the World Cup and our form is sadly lacking.

The most crucial question of them all.

Why is there not a suitable understudy for Stephen Larkham?

I watched a bit of the other matches....and the all Blacks are looking right on track...TO LOSE ANOTHER WORLD CUP.

Cast your mind back to 2003 sportsfans.

The All Blacks ruled the Rugby world.

The All Blacks faded to grey when faced with the Green and Gold.

GO THE WALLABIES!!!!!!!!!



images courtesy of:
www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au
www.stuff.co.nz





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Wallabies v Wales...and this time around, the second match...well shucks y'all....

Larkham is back.
....well, yes, he is a Back but he's also front and centre...especially on this blog...

from www.ninemsn.com.au

Larkham cleared to play against Wales
Friday Jun 1 13:09 AEST

Wallabies flyhalf Stephen Larkham has been cleared to play in Saturday night's second rugby union Test against Wales at Suncorp Stadium.

Larkham completed Australia's final training session without problem on Friday in Brisbane to declare himself fit.

How does one do that?

"I (insert name) declare myself...fit."

The 32-year-old playmaker missed last week's 29-23 win over the Welsh in Sydney after straining his hamstring.

Oh. My God. Don't these idiots know anything?
Larkham is 33....and he doesn't strain. He just restrains....

He was placed in doubt again this week after suffering tightness during training on Wednesday at Ballymore.

"I felt no pain out there today and I'm very confident I'll be 100 per cent out there tomorrow," Larkham said.

What?
What does that mean?

"I think I got it in my head there was something wrong (on Wednesday) because I did it the same time last week and didn't want to risk it."

Australia can secure the inaugural James Bevan Trophy with a series-sweeping victory on Saturday.

...that should have been;
"Australia can feel secure...."

Watch this game on a friendly neighbourhood television near you....

Saturday, 2 June
Qantas Wallabies v Wales
Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane (James Bevan Trophy)
Kick off 8.00pm (local time).

LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 7.30pm AEST.
Delay in Melbourne and Adelaide on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time).
Delay in Perth on Channel 7 from 10.30pm (local time).

LIVE at 7.30pm AEST on Fox Sports 2.


...and unfortunately Gregan has again been put on reserve.

When will these people learn?






87
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Camp Easy Does it. Larkham IS It.

June 1st 2007 06:59
Okay.

Just because I love Rugby does not mean I love everything about it. Nor everyone.
And one of the 'everyone' I don't like nor love (nor loathe really) is David Campese.

David Campese is a legend of the game and don't get me wrong sportsfans...I respect his talent and achievements enormously but...he's just a winger after all. And we all know or should know that a winger's sole purpose is to;
a) look pretty.
b) look pretty and fly like the wind
c) look pretty and shut up

And David Campese never shuts up.

...BUT....for once in his life he has said the right thing....


from The Courier Mail

Larkham the Cup Key
by Peter Jenkins

(...he can unlock my...um...c-cups anytime*....Larkham not Peter Jenkins. Sheesh.)

Stephen Larkham image courtesy of The Courier Mail
The Key (...the hunk-ey....)


Is it just me or does Stephen look like he's;
a) about to karate chop the ball?
b) hypnotising it?


WALLABY legend David Campese has slammed Australia's selectors for failing to groom a flyhalf shadow for the fragile* veteran who holds the key to their World Cup chances.

"...fragile..."?
Coming from a winger who carried a comb in his pocket...that's a bit pot, kettle, charred beyond recognition...

Campese last night declared: "If Stephen Larkham gets injured, there goes the World Cup, and we should never have been in this situation."

The wing star of Australia's 1991 World Cup triumph said coach John Connolly and his predecessor Eddie Jones had to shoulder the blame for not having a safety net in place.

What he also said but hasn't been quoted on is;
"If Stephen Larkham gets injured there goes Rucks and Rolls. What's she going to blog about now?"

Campese said the over-reliance on Larkham, and his injury history, combined to leave the Wallabies on a knife-edge in France in September.

"The most disturbing thing about this Australian side is that they rely so much on Larkham," he added.

No kidding. This Australian is beside herself if Larkham isn't playing...

"Take him out and who have you got to play at No. 10?

Me?

"Going into a World Cup that's a horrendous situation to be in because Larkham is now 33 and injury-prone at the best of times."

...no, actually these would be the worst of times.

Larkham remains in doubt with a dodgy hamstring for tomorrow's second Test against Wales at Suncorp Stadium.

Not true. Refer to next post.

Campese said such concerns in recent seasons should have had the Wallabies working on an alternative.
"Why have the past two Wallaby coaches not done anything about it?" he asked.

They had, dick.
Unfortunately the Larkham Cloning Program was abandoned because some chick with an obsession kept calling them, putting in her order for 3 Larkham's....

"Mat Rogers leaving hasn't helped Connolly but even Rogers didn't play many games at flyhalf. Other flyhalves should have been given experience by now.

Flat Rogers didn't play many games at flyhalf because -repeat after me-
He Was Way Out Of His League

"Sam Norton-Knight showed last week in his debut at No. 10 that there's a huge gap to fill if Larkham is not in the team.

"You couldn't put Norton-Knight, Kurtley Beale or Berrick Barnes into a World Cup scenario with no experience behind them.

"All teams that have won a World Cup have done so with a great flyhalf.

This is true.
Stephen Larkham was instrumental in us winning the World Cup in '99 and kicking All Black ass (ha! double ha!!) and almost winning the World Cup in '03.

"I heard Springbok coach Jake White speaking last week and he made a good point – 'boys don't win World Cups, men do'.

My God.

Campese has a brain.

"
The Wallabies have to protect Larkham now. I would play him in as few games as possible."

...spoke too soon....

Wallaby defence coach John Muggleton yesterday said a side-effect of the team reducing strict structures in attack was hopefully to lessen the team's reliance on Larkham.

"Basically, the Wallabies had Stephen calling everything for the past seven or eight years," Muggleton said. "We're getting other players to take on more in the reading of the game."

When Welsh coach Gareth Jenkins was asked yesterday if the Wallabies could win a World Cup without Larkham, he was tongue-tied.**

"Who knows?" he said finally.

Maybe he was just thinking a Larkham-less Wallabies wouldn't beat Wales in Cardiff in a pool game on September 15.

Unfortunately....and sadly...this is the truth.



*Um....no...this isn't actually true but I was Gone With The Wind-up....only one Man holds those keys...

**See? Larkham has that effect on everybody....





85
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Stephen Larkham and Mt Everest...

May 28th 2007 16:26
....other than both being at their peak (tee hee) ...share another fact in common.

Both came into their own on this day...May 29th.


Mt Everest - May 29th 1953:

Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay are the first people to reach the summit of Mount Everest (and it was Norgay's birthday).


Mt Larkham - May 29th 1974

....was born....


Happy Birthday Stephen!


Stephen Larkham The Perfect 10. photo courtesy of Getty Images
...who needs candles?...ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch...OUCH....



...and look...here's a gift for me....okay...well...a second gift...for me...


from ABC Sport

Larkham to return for second Test
Monday, May 28, 2007. 9:32pm AEST

Fly half Stephen Larkham is expected to return to the Wallabies line-up for Saturday's second Test against Wales in Brisbane.

Larkham missed Australia's 29-23 victory over the Welsh in Sydney on Saturday because of a hamstring strain, but he should win a 96th international cap in the final match of the series at Suncorp Stadium.

"It's very promising at this stage," Larkham told reporters after a workout on Monday.
"I got through 30 minutes with the team and I didn't feel it any stage through there.

"That was enough for me today and the doctor's happy with that so tomorrow we'll progress it a bit more."

If selected, Larkham will replace Sam Norton-Knight, who debuted in the last-gasp win, while world record breaking Test captain George Gregan is also set to come back into the side with Matt Giteau switching from scrum half to inside centre.

Forwards Dan Vickerman, Benn Robinson and George Smith will be elevated from the bench as coach John Connolly assesses his options ahead of the Tri-Nations and the World Cup.

-Reuters


Have a lovely day y'all....







108
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Wallabies v Well sure we won....

May 28th 2007 11:17
...but I'm not too happy about it.

Wallabies v Wales
Wallabies 29
Wales 23
Saturday May 26 at Telstra Stadium, Sydney.

Don't get me wrong. I always want the Wallabies to win...but by merit not default and there was far too much cockiness displayed in this match.

eg. Not a very good one as this image does depict winning rather than cockiness and although Matt Giteau is just a little...Git...I do like this photo very much...

Matt Giteau flys and tries image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au
look Ma...no hands...


...and the win was by a fluke and not because we worked for it. It was only in the last few minutes that the pretty little backs decided to actually come into the game and take some pressure off the Forwards, ie allow the Forwards to play their game instead of playing their game and winning it.

I really do need to write some others posts as a lead up to this one.
1. The naming of the squad.
2. Why wasn't Peter Hewat chosen?
3. Why is Lote Tuqiri allowed to speak?
4. Why wasn't I called?
5. When will I wake up to myself?
6. Why isn't there a Stephen Larkham reality TV show...or at least a permanent camera on him?
7. Who selects the selectors who select the squad?

...but, for now...I'll just write about this match.

Look, I was already disappointed for many reasons. Firstly because of the squad that has been picked. The selectors have left out so many valuable and more deserving players... I cannot even begin to understand why the choices made, were allowed to be made.

Still on firstly....why was Jeremy Paul not picked? He is Australia's most capped hooker (#2 and no that doesn't mean he's a prostitute with a hat fetish...it means JP has played the most matches at this position).
...I've got a post coming up about this but I don't blame him for telling the ARU to just get the ruck out oh his life...they didn't choose him, despite an excellent Super 14 season, they decided to dump him in Australia A (which is like the...um...logies compared to the tOscars) and they won't release him from his contract so that he can get on with his life.

Sheesh. Bunch of freakin' bloody customs officers.*

Secondly....Gregan wasn't chosen as Captain. And he wasn't chosen as Scrumhalf on the run on squad. He was a reserve.

Bad, bad decision.

Matt Giteau (in pic above) was chosen as Scrumhalf (#9) and Phil Waugh was chosen as Captain.

Phil Waugh??? He's been out all season and what the f**k?? What form has he shown sitting on the sidelines wrapped in plastic?

Sing after me: Waugh....what is he good for? Absolutely nothing.

Matt Giteau may be a freakish little energiser battery hobbit but he is not a Scrumhalf neither is he a Flyhalf.
The Scrumhalf position demands info dissemination and Hobbiteau is too focused on accumulating points for himself instead of speaking with the team...and to the ref.

Gregan is a master at this. He keeps the communication flowing and all you non-Rugby people who say you are Rugby people can go and take a flying leap off the nearest cliff, if you think that Gregan is anything less than the World's Premier Scrumhalf.

...and of course....Larkham being injured just completely deflated me.

If Sam Not Tonight Not Ever is the second choice for Flyhalf (#10)...we are doomed.

Hobbiteau is not suited to this position. It requires brains that can think and do 5 phases before the done.

Stephen Larkham owns this position.

Okay... the match. Which is why we're all here.

image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au
No. They're not urging. They're cheering. After the fact.


What really pissed me off is how the Australian Boys Club Rugby Media completely wrote Wales off.

Who's wailing now boys? Hope you all get fired....
Pick me, pick me, oh pick me.....

The Welsh may not have brought their big guns but they were firing on all barrels.

Although the Wallabies did dominate possesion and territory, it was a poor performance from a team that was supposed to have won this match by...oh...4000 - nil in the first 5 minutes.

You think I'm harsh? No. I'm being kind. The Wallabies are World Champions. We have won the World Cup twice.
Wales?...well...come on now...they're good, no doubt about it...but they are not The Wallabies.

...I kid you not...if Larkham and Gregan were there...the Welsh would have begged for mercy.
Although their Forwards could eat our current Forwards for pre-match snacks. No. Forget snacks. For dental floss.

And I like the Welsh. I love their Captain, Gareth Thomas. He's a great player and a fantastic man and what a body!!
Plus their flyhalf James Hook is bordering on brilliant, he's no Larkham...but you can't win 'em all.
...and of course pretty boy Gavin Henson was there on the reserve bench...fake orange tan et al.
Don't let the make-up fool you. The kid is devastating on field.

By the way, just in case suspicions have been aroused...I am on my second flute of methode champagnoise...okay maybe my third....

How many flutes does it take to change a Dusk?
...just the top note apparently....

Shoot. This is becoming a saga. There's 3 posts in this already. But my fingers cannot stop. They're possesed. Dammit. I have to finish this post.

Okay, the Match. The Match.

Summary.

We sucked. Wales almost had us. In the end, we won.
In the last minutes...and this was when Gregan walked on field...and did you hear the crowd roar its apprecaition?...the team perked up and performed.

The Welsh made the most of Wallabies lost opportunites and scored 2 tries early in the match (and this is when all those Rugby journos got fired) to lead 17-0. Captain Gareth Thomas scored the first try and don't you love that the welsh are all Gareth and Thomas and Jones and Dylan?

The Wallabies came good and came back into the game with tries to 2 Forwards - #8 Wycliff palu and lock Nathan Sharpe to close the gap 17-12 at half time.

2nd half, we still sucked but not as much. Hobbiteau struck gold (see pic above) and then Mortlock...who had been missing his kicks and really looked unsteady on his back, forget his feet...kicked a penalty goal, which finally put us in the lead by one point, with about 10 minutes to go.

...but the Welsh held on. And regained the lead with a wannabe Larkham moment by Welsh #10 James Hook. He kicked a 30m drop goal and regained some credibility after having missed a penalty goal that my 11yo could have kicked.

With 8 minutes to full-time, Wales led 23-22 and they held their lead and defended with all their Celtic soul but alas fortunately the Wallabies attack broke them.

Yeah, I said "alas" okay? The Welsh were so brave...they deserved to win this match.

Not if Larkham was on field though....


Finally...and this did coincide with the Return of the Gregan so it wasn't a coincidence, just fact...the Wallabies kicked into high gear and created a passage of play that saw reserve #8 Stephen Hoiles cross over for a try in the 81st minute (pic below). Mortlock converted and it was Game Over for the Welsh.

Stephen Hoiles crushes the Welsh image courtesy of www.sportal.com.au
...hold him down! No! Hold him up....


Wallabies 29
Tries: Palu, Sharpe, Giteau, Hoiles
Conversions: Mortlock 3
Penalties: Mortlock

Wales 23
Tries: Thomas, Robinson
Conversions: Hook 2
Penalties: Hook 2
Drop Goal: Hook


Summary Summary:

The only players worth their weight in Green and Gold were Gregan and the Forwards... except Matt Dunning (#1) who is a blight on all Props and should be put out to pasture.

Rocky Elsom, Wycliff Palu and George Smith (when he finally replaced Phil Waugh...what is he good for...absolutely nothing...) were standouts.

Sam Norton-Knight to Larkham's day...let's not kid ourselves people...if he is our only choice as a replacement Flyhalf/#10...I am offering my services for free.

I'm done.

Finally.




*if you want to know what I mean by this...ask me...

Images courtesy of www.sportal.com.au


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Yeah, yeah, okay...so they didn't actually win this year*...so what?
The Brumbies are always Champions to me.

...keep your eye on that Brumbies #10....I always do....



*The Brumbies are the only Australian team to have won the Super Rugby series.
Twice. 2001 and 2004
....and they've come close a hell of a lot of times, reaching the finals 5 times.


Super 14 2007 final was played by 2 South African teams.
The Bulls won. For the first time ever in the history of Super Rugby.
Bulls 20
Sharks 19

Whatever.

The Crusaders suck.


The Brumbies Rule!!!

...although...next year....oh sigh...although the loyalty will still be as strong....the spark...will be in Scotland. Ach lad...ahm a gonner....




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Dedicated To All Crusaders Fans.

May 28th 2007 07:45
That's right people.

This one is for all you Crusaders supporters as a token of my appreciation.

Would you like some tissues now....or would you prefer to drown in your sorrow?
Again.

To further enhance your viewing experience, please read this post




Now. Repeat after me;

"I (insert name here...and yes you may use a pseudonym because I wouldn't want to use my real name either if I was a Crusadsack...player or fan......) will never ever doubt that the Brumbies and Stephen Larkham can kick our ass and I will also never ever doubt DuskDevi when she says that the Brumbies and Stephen Larkham....Ruck and RULE!!!"

That's all. You may go now.



*This match was played on April 28th, 2007 at Canberra Stadium.
It was Stephen Larkham's, George Gregan's and Jeremy Paul's last match as Brumbies on home soil.
It was also the match that validated me.

....but I never really need validation.

I'm always right. When it comes to Rugby.




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In Rugby...He Makes It Happen....

May 28th 2007 07:23
Okay...I'm starting my Post Binge (and that's Post Binge not binge aftermath...you with me?) and to start it off...I'm sharing one of Australian Rugby's...nay....RUGBY's most treasured moments.

AND a reminder, for all ye of no faith and leth muthle (aka unpatriotic naff ponces)....in Rugby....anything can happen.

(This is Rugby World Cup Year. Hence the trip down Rugby Lane)

Rugby World Cup 1999....hosted by Wales, with matches played in England, Scotland, Ireland and Ponce France.
(20 countries particpated, 41 matches played)

This was the semi-final match between Australia and South Africa, played in Twickenham, London on October 30, 1999.

This video features many of Rugby's greatest names;
John Eales aka Nobody (...because Nobody's perfect), Tim Horan, Matthew Burke, Phil Kearns and the greatest coach of all, Rod Macqueen.

.....and this was what....and WHO....sealed the eventual victory.





Stephen Larkham. Legend. Demi God.

...we won this match 27-21.
The Wallabies went on to defeat Ponce France in the Final 35 - 12, crowning us World Champions.
Again.




...remember, this was 8 years ago...he has grown...and how.

Stephen Larkham The Perfect 10. photo courtesy of Getty Images
This is what he looked like 4 years later (Nov '03)


Ouch.





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Ach lad...Lang May Ya Larkham!!

May 25th 2007 10:00
Oh. My. God!

I am Good.

No. make that GOOD.

I am here when I shouldn't be here because well it's Friday but I'm here....my husband and sons are cooking because the only thing I cook is mischief so I thought I'd come on down and while I was here I was doing my favourite Net activity of Googling Stephen Larkham.

There I said it. No strikethrough.
Dammit. Still can't find any semi naked photos...damn that man for having dignity...

Aneewayyy. I found this.

Now...everyone who is close to me in the physical world knows this about me and I think there is one Orbler (JosjZ) who knows this about me.
I was born and bred in England but all my life I have wanted to be a Scot.
(this post's comments sort of explains it)

Aye peypul...that bey rright...ah wanter bey a wee lass frrom Scortluhnd.

AND....now this....

from www.theherald.co.uk

May 15 2007
by Kevin Ferrie Chief Rugby Writer

Edinburgh completed a major coup yesterday when announcing that Stephen Larkham, one of the best known figures in global rugby, is to join them after the World Cup.

They fought off interest from English and French clubs to recruit the play-maker, a key figure in the Wallabies' 1999 World Cup win, and Larkham promised that while he will quit Test rugby following this year's tournament and will turn 33 later this month, he still has a great deal to offer.

Speaking from Sydney via a video-link he also said the quality of Edinburgh's approach had helped set it apart from the others he had received.

"It was easy in the end to come here because it's a beautiful city but also because of the professionalism shown towards us," he said.

However, he also joked that he was more interested in helping Scottish rugby than its rival nations.

"Thinking about coming to England or France, where the other offers came from, I certainly didn't want to help either of them," he grinned.

"I would much prefer to help Scotland."

Without the slightest trace of arrogance he has clearly recognised the major role he can play in helping Scottish rugby catch up with the leading rugby nations.

"Edinburgh weren't the highest bidder and we certainly shopped around to find the best environment.

I know there's a lot of culture and history in Edinburgh, but hopefully what I can bring is a winning culture," he added.

"Hopefully, I can bring a few ideas that have been successful and of all the nations in Europe, Scottish rugby has the most potential to grow and can do so with the help of experienced players from around the world."


Needless to say...I am so CHUFFED Larkham is not going to France. I am not a Francophile.

...and he needs to go where I want him to go...giggle...

Okay...gotta go....



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....well....my blog name still fits....

The Wallabies (the Australian Rugby Union team...and what I want to be when I grow up. A Wallaby. A Rugby Union player. Not a marsupial...) are playing their first match of the test (international series) season, this Saturday May 26th at Telstra Stadium in Sydney.

I was really really and I mean really looking forward to this match.

Not because it's a highlight of the season or anything like that...and really I shouldn't even be posting this post because I haven't posted any of the relevant posts leading up to this post but that's because I'm all posted out and are you still with me?

Sheesh.

You're good.

Aneewayy.


I look forward to the first match of every test season because it means...drum roll please...let's add some fanfare... the Return of the Mighty Larkham Wallabies!!!

Is the Larkham strikethrough thing getting boring?

Do it look like I give a....?


Super 14 (provincial) season is over and it's now the Titans playing field.

...and here is the tidiest Titan.....

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God aka yum yum yum yum YUM!!



BUT....catastrophe has struck...which is why...this week...I am over Rugby.

Champion Wallabies five-eighth Stephen Larkham is confident of being fit for Saturday week's second Test against Wales after being ruled out of the first tomorrow night with a minor hamstring strain.

"minor"? "minor"??...a fricken "minor" strain and I get deprived????
...@#$%&^*.......


Larkham pulled up sore after training on Wednesday night and was scratched today, handing NSW Waratahs pivot Sam Norton-Knight a call-up to start at No.10 for his Test debut.

...there is only one other sick puppy Orbler that will understand why I got a giggle out of that...and if anyone else understands...then dayum sugah...welcome to the SPOT (Sick Puppy Orble Team!)


"It's very disappointing, but I suppose this early in the season there's no point in taking any risks, and that's what it would be at this stage,'' Larkham said.

"If it was a grand final, I'd probably go out and play. But there's just no need to take that sort of risk at this stage.

"It's just a bit of a strain of the hamstring tendon. It's a little bit of an over-use injury. It's been pretty high intensity, long hours this week at training, and I've combined that with a bit too much kicking.

...hee hee...God I'm sick...


"So I'll be smarter for it.

"We'll reassess it on Monday but if the game was in another couple of days, I think I'd be right.''

Norton-Knight, a member of the Wallabies' 30-man squad but not picked in the 22-man team on Tuesday for Australia's first Test of 2007, got the call-up just after breakfast.

"I found out about 10am this morning,'' he said.

Oh good one Norton-Twerp. Because 10am is usually at Knight?????


"Steve was good enough to come and just run through the bits and pieces in terms of the game strategy but, yeah, I was jumping out of my skin. Very excited. It feels good.''

Yeah well...that's just the effect Stephen has on me people.

Okay sportsfans...gotta run...I've got a lawn bowling ball to stroll after....



Bundaberg Rum Rugby Series

Saturday, 26 May
Qanats Wallabies v Wales,
Telstra Stadium, Sydney (James Bevan Trophy)
Kick Off 8:00pm (local time).

LIVE on Channel 7 in Sydney and Brisbane from 7.30pm AEST. Delay in Melbourne and Adelaide on Channel 7 from 11.30pm (local time). Delay in Perth on Channel 7 from 10.30pm (local time).

LIVE at 7.00pm AEST on Fox Sports 2.

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....because Stephen Larkham would never stoop so low as to be photographed with just his underwear on.

Damn him to hell.

This is Dan Carter.
#10 (ha!) for the (NZ national Rugby team) All Blacks and (Super 14) Canterbury Crusadsacks....and not even a shadow of Stephen Larkham's shadow.

Not on field. And never off field.


ridiculous image courtesy of Planet Rugby
Dan All Dacks fly boy Carter


"....and when I see Stephen Larkham I feel this high..."


from Planet Rugby...and far too funny to be messed with so I have not added my spice...the article is delicious on it's own...read on Mirthlings!


Stop the press! All Black superstar Dan Carter has revealed that he never goes 'commando' and has never worn women's underwear.

And fans of the talismanic New Zealand and Crusaders pivot can sleep easy in the knowledge that his underpants don't chafe.

It is not known whether other All Black greats have suffered chafing of their nether regions.

True, Buck Shelford once instructed a physio to stitch up his ripped scrotum on the side of the pitch so he could play on.

But it seems the hard-as-nails loose forward would have avoided the impromptu surgery had he been in Carter's kaks.

The New Zealand and Crusaders fly-half has just been unveiled as the "new international ambassador" for Jockey's latest "3D innovation collection" - and he swears by the "anatomically researched" undies.

Carter's crown jewels are held in place by "constructed three-dimensional stretch cotton" and "power leg bindings for perfect support".

He can also count on an "angled functional fly front" and "innovative bias cutting technology", not to mention "anatomically tilted ribbed leg openings".

The 26-year-old revealed that he has about twenty pairs of Jockey briefs and "has to wash and re-wear them like everyone else".

Giant billboards of Carter frolicking in his underpants will be erected across Europe in the lead-up to the forthcoming Rugby World Cup.

But if you really must get a sneak preview, check out Jockey's website - you'll find a rather disturbing looped video of Carter performing endless sit-ups in his new grundies.

"The Jockey 3D technology features sophisticated patterns that enable the garments to mirror the movements and shape of the human body," gushed the press release.

"Move over David Beckman [sic] - there's a Kiwi sporting star making a challenge on your home territory."


.....hysterical laughter.....

A Kiwi supporting jock.....

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This is a continuation of my last post:

The Power of 3: Pt 1 - The Story of Ohhhh...


photo courtesy of The Canberra Times
Yes...it's all thanks to Dusk...

(it's my blog, my fantasy okay??)

from l-r: Stephen Larkham, Jeremy Paul and George Gregan after the Brumbies v Crusadists match on Sat 28/04. This was their last match ever on home ground, Canberra Stadium.

Oh...did I mention the Brumbies won this match?

**************************


The Power of 3: Pt 2 - The Guv and The Justice of Piece by piece....

George Gregan - GG - Governor General
Jeremy Paul - JP - Justice of Peace


cont. from The Canberra Times
(Canberra Guide)

The men behind the machines
by *Tim Gavel

...... a number of footballers who have become household names by virtue of their performances on the field for the Brumbies and the Wallabies.
Steve Larkham and George Gregan are the last of the foundation players and it's only fitting that the Eastern Grandstand is named in their honour tonight.

Hooker Jeremy Paul, then the Queensland-based Australian Under-21 hooker, joined the Brumbies two years later in 1998 as Marco Caputo's understudy.

Brilliantly loyal to the end

George Gregan

The other side of George

Also coming through the Canberra ranks at the same time as Larkham in the early to mid 1990s was George Gregan.

Educated at St Edmond's College, Gregan had a tough choice to make early in his career as he was courted by both rugby union and cricket.
In the end, rugby won out and he went on to play his debut Test for the Wallabies in 1994.

In only his fourth Test that year he made that memorable tackle on All Black Jeff Wilson as he appeared headed for a try that would have won the Bledesloe Cup.

The ball jolted out of Wilson's arms and a legend was born.

This was truly a remarkable tackle. Gregan came up to Wilson's knees. Well not really but... it sounds better...dramatic effect...

These days, George Gregan is renowned for his utter professionalism in his approach, with nothing left to chance in his preparation for games. It wasn't always the case.

Kim Thurbon gave him the nickname 'Clocks' because he was never on time as he struggled to get his less than new Holden HQ to training on time.

Thurbon says he knew Gregan would become a champion when he saw him play for the under-19s at Royal Military College. As he was being tackled into touch he managed to pass the ball between his legs to the winger who scored.

His talent was there for all to see in 1994 as part of the ACT side that defeated NSW in Sydney. Teammate Paul Cornish had given him a new nickname on the bus trip.

He was now known as the 'Gov' short for the Governor General with his initials GG.

From the time he played his first Test Gregan seemed to be under constant scrutiny, with the criticism relentless.

In GG's case...it's the short but tough poppy syndrome...

When he was chosen for his first Test against Italy in 1994 there were those who thought Peter Slattery should have been chosen, and it has been continuing ever since with Chris Whittaker, Matt Henjak, Sam Cordingley and Matt Giteau put forward by the anti-Gregan squad as supposedly better candidates.

Let me see.
Whitaker - good but not Gregan
Henjak - good but not a shadow of Gregan
Cordingley - who?
Giteau - traitorous ponce (once was Brumby...)

Whether or not it's the tall poppy syndrome, it's hard to work out why a player who has played 127 Tests would come under so much fire.
Former Brumby Marco Caputo believes that if Gregan was playing for England he would have been knighted.

He should be made GG....

When the Brumbies travel to New Zealand and South Africa the fans besiege him seeking a moment of his time such is his prominence, yet in Australia it seems his every move is criticised.

For his part George Gregan doesn't take too much notice of the critics, which include former ACT player and Wallaby David Campese.

Campese.
Legend on the field.
Ridiculous off it.
Besides he was a winger. Whaddaya expect from a player position that has a mirror and a comb as part of the uniform kit?.....!!!

The only time it seems to trouble him is when it affects his family or teammates.

Caputo says he is one of the most loyal mates he has ever known and regards him as the greatest captain he has played under because of his ability to bring out the best in the players that he plays alongside.

They all say this. All of Gregan's teammates. Larkham says that the player he respects and admires the most is Gregan. Don't you just love the way I can insert Larkham's name in everything I write?

When I met his parents, the pride they have in their son is obvious and the closeness of the family unit was apparent.

There are many positives to come out of the current era of professionalism. One of the downsides, however, is that the true personality of players is often shielded from the public.
The only image they have of the player is what they see on the field or a brief contact away from it.

This is something that annoys DDH and totally pisses me off.
To get to the players now is like trying to break into Fort hard Knox....and why it annoys DDH and pisses me off is that the Rugby players themselves are not like this.
It's the people around them who get all precious.

The public and private personalities of George Gregan could not be more different. On the field you get the impression that he is a man possessed.

Yet off the field he has established strong friendships with rivals, such as All Black Justin Marshall. Among his friends and teammates he is known as a prankster.

This is what I love about Rugby!

DDH is friends with some of his worst rivals. One of his closest friendships came out of an opposition batttle for verbal and physical supremacy.
It's common practise for the front rowers to sledge each other as they get ready to 'engage'.
Some of the things they say to each other...oh boy....

AND on field it's always game on. Off field...never. That's not the Rugby way.

One story has Gregan ringing up a rookie teammate pretending to be a journalist.

The youngster is told to meet the journalist outside, only to be greeted by laughter from his teammates looking down from the balconies as he waits in full team uniform for the bogus reporter.

Of course these days George moves in different circles with his business interests, while his charity the George Gregan Foundation has changed the lives of many, with the foundation building playgrounds in hospitals for sick kids in.

In a way the media is responsible for not allowing us to see this other side of George because of the constant criticism. It has resulted in him becoming reluctant to give them any ammunition.

George Gregan. Guv? We'll miss you.


Jeremy Paul

I'm not saying much about Paul. He is one of my favourite players but I'll let the story tell the tale.

While George Gregan has the look of 'approach me at your peril' before games, Jeremy Paul is the complete opposite.

Last weekend former teammate *Bill Young wished him good luck after the players went through their preparations on the field.

Instead of a simple acknowledgement, Paul was keen to find out what Young was doing after the game.

He then went on to play one of his best games for the Brumbies this season.

*Bill Young...another Brumbies and Wallabies Legend (# 1 Prop) and always on my list of Top Players.

Paul's laid-back nature is an extremely endearing aspect of his engaging personality, but it may have also presented the wrong message to those in charge. Given his natural ability he probably should have played more Tests.

Caputo says when Jeremy Paul arrived at the Brumbies in 1998 he was more than happy to give the young hooker plenty of advice. In 1999, Paul had become the starting hooker with Caputo relegated to the bench. Needless to say from that moment on Caputo says he was reluctant to be as forthcoming with his advice as Paul went on to become the most capped Australian hooker of all time.

Numerous junior clubs in Canberra have contacted me to tell me about Jeremy Paul's generosity with his time.

Paul has taken junior hookers under his wing; training and teaching them in his own time.

It's that generosity, as well as his ability on the field, which has endeared him to so many young players in the ACT.

All three players are winners in their own way, on and off the field and as a community we are richer for their time spent playing for the Brumbies.


*Tim Gavel is a long-time sports commentator on ABC radio in Canberra

Photos courtesy of The Canberra Times.




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photo courtesy of The Canberra Times
3 Legends....and their Immortality. (Sat 28/04 before the Brumbies v Crusadsacks match at Canberra Stadium)


I found this wonderful article whilst searching for Larkham Rugby news and thought I'd share it with you.

The above photo was taken just as the Gregan-Larkham Stand at Canberra Stadium was unveiled to the public.
(fr l - r) Stephen Larkham, George Gregan and Jeremy Paul with their children. It was a very emotional night for me them and me Rugby fans and me Brumbies people.

And me.

I've split this article in to two parts.

Part 1: The Story of Ohhhhh....


from The Canberra Times
(Canberra Guide)


The men behind the machines
by Tim Gavel

In 1995, the announcement was made that Rugby Union was to enter the professional era the following year. Super12 was to be established.
There was little to indicate the impact that it would have on the Canberra sporting landscape over a decade later.

The journey has carried with it a number of footballers who have become household names by virtue of their performances on the field for the Brumbies and the Wallabies.

Steve Larkham and George Gregan are the last of the foundation players and it's only fitting that the Eastern Grandstand is named in their honour tonight.

If it was up to me...I'd rename Canberra (post link provided)


Larkham, a scrumhalf who had found it hard to establish himself in one position, burst on to the scene in a big way in the 1995 finals series for the Canberra Kookaburras.

He came on as a replacement centre in the first grade preliminary final against Randwick.

I (Tim Gavel) remember vividly the excitement generated by his performance that day at North Sydney Oval.

AND I...remember more than vividly the first time I saw Larkham. Play. 12 years ago.

It prompted veteran coach Kim Thurbon to push Larkham's case to the coach of the newly-formed Brumbies, Rod Macqueen.
Larkham went on the Brumbies' pre-season tour of Japan and the rest is history. He has gone on to become one of the greatest flyhalves of all time.

His teammates didn't know what to make of his extremely *quiet nature; so much so that ACT teammates Caputo and Adam Friend nicknamed him 'Bernie' after the corpse in the film Weekend at Bernie's.

*Not true. Yes...he is quiet but he's far from lifeless. I know. I have interviewed him. Yes, I survived. (post link provided)

Despite his status in the world of rugby union and the wider community, Steve Larkham is most content around his family, and a more unaffected person you are unlikely to meet.

VERY TRUE. He has every right to be arrogant...the Man is brilliant (and dayum sugah...he is beautiful...) but his appeal lies in his humility. As he says: "I'm just a Rugby player."

As I say: "He's a Rugby God."
(post link provided...worth just seeing for the 'short titles' only...go on...run your mouse over the highlighted links...)


It's almost a case of why the fuss? It's not uncommon to see Larkham running the water for his beloved Wests in the local competition.

On one of the occasions I met Larkham...and this is truly mortifying, only a handful of people* know this...and gee, what a way to keep it that way...by writing about it in a post.... this was after a match at Canberra Stadium about 4 years ago.

Brilliant match. The Brumbies won. Larkham?....oh man...Legend.

After the match DDH and I were in the Members area and then moved outside to get some fresh air. No, I was not expecting to see Larkham in the Members area. The Members area is where the bar is.

Aneewayyy. Most of the Brumbies Players were outside signing autographs, chatting to fans. DDH chatted with some Rugby people he had played with and/or knew and I was just hanging...trying not to freeze my butt off because it was damn cold. It had to be minus 4 degrees. Well, okay it wasn't...but it was close.

So. I was just hanging. Chatted to some of the Brumbies players (being a Journalist has some advantages) and just...hanging. And when I was just...hanging...I was trying to keep warm. So I decided to stand on a rock and...balance.

DDH came up to me and said;
"Turn around and darling...try not to faint. You're standing on a rock."

So I turned around.

And fell off the rock.

Yes. He was standing right behind me. Like...within an arm reach. And he was just...hanging too.

By now I could not move. I had frozen to the spot. And not because it was minus 4 degrees. Well okay it wasn't but....

So DDH takes my hand and says "Hi Stephen, great game, my wife is a big fan of yours."

Stephen walks over and says; "Really?"

Dusk says; "gawp"

DDH says; "Do you mind if I take a photograph of you with her?"

Stephen says: "Sure. That would be great."

Dusk says; "huhhhhh???"

I have no recollection of the photos being taken. I think I lost all mental function when Stephen put his arm around me...I have the photos.

Anyway post photo...we're all standing around chatting about the match and the upcoming match...well...not we...DDH and Stephen....I'm just standing there between My Ultimate Man (#1) and the Penultimate Man (#10) going; "keep it together, keep it together..." when suddenly I remember I have a program in my bag and an autograph would be great.

I couldn't find a pen.

So while 2 Rugby greats (for me)...one a giant Forward and the other a not so giant Back (but still giant by human standards), different eras, different builds, same mental acuity and strength...talk about the game they play in heaven...I am rummaging through my bag...and while I'm rummaging, I'm giving the contents of my bag to Stephen to hold and oh. My. God....this is why the fuss... he didn't even blink.

We're talking about an international sporting superstar here and yet he was standing there whilst I'm rummaging and DDH is chuckling and Stephen is thinking "she's nuts", holding my stuff patiently. Cripes I can't even remember what he was holding.

I found a pen finally.

And it didn't work.

By now DDH is close to losing it.

...and almost did when Stephen said: "I think I might have a pen. Do you want to take your stuff back?"

It was a close encounter of the worst kind. For me.
It better have been good for him...

It was very good for DDH. He's never let me live it down. For 2 reasons:

1. I'm actually a very composed and reserved person to look at. Nothing fazes me. (DDH doesn't faze me...he makes me swoon. Daily)
2. Stephen is a Back.

...but he has the heart and guts of a Forward....

Injuries have taken their toll on his body; they have almost taken on a personality of their own.
The reason for the number of injuries is obvious as you watch him launch himself at far bigger players.

Larkham started with the Brumbies as a full-back.
There was, however, always a suspicion that his prodigious talents would be well applied at No10.

And for once, suspicious minds proved true.

During the end-of-season Wallaby tour of 1997 when just about everything was going wrong for coach Greg Smith, he fortuitously selected Larkham at flyhalf for the mid-week game against the Irish province Munster.

Larkham was at his brilliant best and a legend was born.

When his playing days are over Steve Larkham may be called upon to present his body to medical research, such is the pounding it has received over the years.

...hmmm...medical research eh?...a career change may be on the cards for me....

One thing that won't need to be studied is his unquestionable loyalty to the Brumbies.
It became so apparent to NSW and Queensland that he wouldn't even consider rival offers that in recent years they made little or no effort to recruit him.

That's because Stephen Larkham is a Brumby and Brumbies cannot be broken.




Part 2: coming up


*apart from my family, only 3 friends and 2 colleagues know this. And one Orbler.


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OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 28th 2007 12:22
WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BRUMBIES WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Brumbies won.

Oh my God they won and do you understand what this means??????

Do you also understand that NO ONE and I mean NO ONE said they would win this match!!

It wasn't a pretty match but OH MY GOD....it was divine.

It could have been the ref.

It could have been the home ground advantage.

It could have been because the Crusaders are a bunch of naff ponce pansy boys.

Who cares?????????????

The Brumbies won!!!!


Stephen Larkham, George Gregan and Jeremy Paul are absolute legends and I cannot begin to explain what I'm feeling right now...I truly can't.......I am just...oh God....the joy I feel is for them because this was their last home game ever.....ad the joy they must be feeling....

Oh God.

AND all you naysayers and all you New Zealanders...same thing....suck on that!

Ha!!

I know this is hard to believe but after much much research I came to the conclusion that I was the only Rugby fan...the only blogger...the only JOURNALIST to say that we would win.

I feel so damn validated right now.

Smug too.


Brumbies 15 - Crusadsacks 6


Suck shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...of course....we still have one more match plus a semi and then a final.....but so what?

I truly do not care what happens next (but that could be because I am currently heavily under the affluence of inchol)...all I know is that STEPHEN LARKHAM is a Rugby legend.

I will need to write a (semi) proper post later because there is a lot to 'discuss' but in the 78th minute...2 minutes from full time....STEPHEN LARKHAM kicked the drop goal that ensured Dan carry me off on a Carter is not even ashadow of LARKHAM's shadow.

My heart is racing.

I need a drink.

Oh damn...can't 'celebrate' too much....have a birthday party swirling around me.....my childrens friends already think I'm nuts in a oh Mrs * is such a nutbecause...if you think my carry on is bad here....mah friends.....you haven't seen me live in action.

I, cool, calm and collected Dusk...LOSE THE PLOT COMPLETELY!!!!!!

...Oh I love passion....

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ACT To Be Renamed...

April 28th 2007 04:39
...Australian capitaLarkham Territory!!
aka lose control ALT delight.

Well okay...it's not but it should.

...or maybe ADSL

Australian D_ _ _ S_ _ _ _ _ Larkham....

Fill in the blanks however you wish. It's a broad band of words...

Aneewayyy.

from www.sportal.com.au

Brumbies Test centre Stirling Mortlock has said his side has the extra motivation to sending off George Gregan, Steve Larkham and Jeremy Paul as winners in this Saturday night's Super 14 game against the Crusaders at Canberra Stadium.

Mortlock said that the extra motivation was DuskDevi's absolute belief in Larkham the Brumbies and that with her support they could do anything and maybe she should wake up now.

"There's a lot going on this weekend - they're naming the stand at Canberra Stadium on Saturday night after George and Steve, the 'Gregan Larkham' stand or the 'Larkham Gregan' stand - I'm not sure who had dibs on having their name appear first! So there will be a lot of distractions and emotions surrounding this game.

I do admire and respect Gregan, I do.
But.....

As for distractions and emotions....yep...but...that sort of happens every time I see Larkham play. Run. Walk, talk...blink....


Mortlock, who is back in the side for the first time since breaking bones in his hand in the week seven clash against the Cheetahs in March, said the team would be doing its utmost to give the veteran trio a win in their last match at Canberra Stadium before all three play out their careers overseas.

...oh God....

"There are three stalwarts at the club that are playing their final home game this weekend," Mortlock told Sportal.

"Steve Larkham, Jeremy Paul and George Gregan have contributed so much to the way the Brumbies are on and off the field and this is going to be a massive match for the whole club, and to hopefully to send them off in a way befitting those three guys.

I do admire and respect Gregan and Paul, I do.
They're absolutely fabulous humans, amazing men and incredible athletes.
But....

"Hopefully we can keep a lid on our emotions and everything that goes with playing such a big match and channel that energy positively into playing a good game."

...ohhhhhh God...


With the Brumbies currently sitting in sixth place, just one point out of the top four, Mortlock said the Brumbies were already focused on the game, as a loss will most likely spell the end of their race for the finals.

Um....gee Dorklock. That's just...so...profound.


"When you play the Crusaders, you don't need any extra incentive to get yourself up for the game as it's always been a massive game for us. They've been the leader of Super rugby, particularly over the past five years or so, and have been the trendsetters of this tournament.

Oh. shut. up.
Why don't you just bend over and let the Crusadists ruck you?

I want blood. I want guts. I want to jump on Larkham. Whoops. How'd that get in there?


"On top of that, it's our last home game and of course a must-win for us to try and get that place in the top four. It's a tough one and we need to make sure we don't get emotionally over-awed by the occasion.
"We need to stay calm, composed and stay focused on the key components of the game. I have no doubt that if we do that we'll be fired up and ready to rumble."

Oh. I don't foresee a problem with focus....my Larkhamera lenses are clear...the f stops here....


Despite Dorklock's dumb ass comments (he is a good guy..he's just...a dumb ass), he's proving his Rugby creed worth by coming back for this match (at #13 Outside Centre) despite still being injured.

Not sure how good a thing that is though because Mortalock (not a typo...he's not as super human as the others) although he's Stirling by name and deed, he's not made of it.

He is very prone to injury and he's still nursing the injury he sustained in March...and I believe that this is why George Smith is still Captain. Mortlockjaw will not go the whole match tonight due to lack of match fitness.

Adam Ashley-Cooper has been playing at Outside Centre but will now move to wing because Clyde Rath(broken)bone has still got a knee injury.


Make no mistake sportsfans...this is a huge match (and shit...there's other matches on...dammit...I'm so one-L visioned...)....not just because Larkham (...sigh...sob...), Gregan and Paul are playing their final home game but because this is the match that determines who's boss.

And win or lose...The Brumbies are the Boss a Nova...the stars of Australian Rugby.

And oh God....I have adored this team from the moment they formed. And I will adore them for the rest of their existence.

I'll just be following French Rugby next year...


Go The Brumbies!!!!!!!!!!!



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A Final Stampede.

April 27th 2007 05:11
...the Legends...

...the enemy....


This is a HUGE match....and it's the match that determines if the Brumbies will be in the semi finals.

Brumbies v Crusadists
7:40pm (AEST) Saturday, 28 April 2007

We're now in Week 13 of the Super 14.
14 weeks of pleasure and pain.

Mine. I suppose the players' as well....but this is about me...

Semis scheduled for 11-12 May.

I knew this would happen. As much as I would rather it did not.

from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Crusaders loose forward Reuben Thorne doubts the Brumbies will get tangled up in the emotions of farewelling George Gregan, Stephen Larkham and Jeremy Paul from Canberra Stadium on Saturday night.

The Brumbies might not get "tangled up" but their fans will.

I will be a total mess. Yes I am that sad.

I kept it together when John Eales retired (barely)...I was at his last match

We're not going to this match. For some reason the 3rd son has decided to celebrate his 19th birthday that night and he's having a party.

Well it is his birthday.
(and there's no freakin' way we'd leave the house to a bunch of 19 year olds. We're parents. Not apparently stupid)


The Brumbies' chances of snaring a home semi-final are slim* and next weekend's final round-robin match is in Dunedin, meaning the three Wallabies will probably make their final appearances in Canberra.

*oh take a flying leap dumb ass pessimist.

Canberra administrators are hoping a big crowd rolls up for the send-off, but Thorne doubts the Brumbies will let the occasion blight their preparations.
"I don't know if these guys will. They are pretty experienced and level headed - particularly those two (Gregan and Larkham).

"Without a doubt there will be a lot of emotion at the ground with the crowd and everything, so they will feed off that.

I will miss Gregan. The man is a legend and a gentleman and deserves all the accolades and none of the knives he's had to put up.

But....Larkham.....oh God....I have been a fan for over 11 years....long before anyone really knew what he was capable of....it's almost like....for me....Larkham is Rugby.

He is all that is good about Rugby...except for the fact that he's a Back.

"But I don't think they are a team that will be affected by it negatively."

Gregan and Larkham are the only Brumbies players remaining from the original 1996 squad that was created by coach Rod Macqueen.

Macqueen is King. End of story.

Between them the pair has made around 250 Super appearances and played 222 Tests for the Wallabies. Hooker Paul has played more than 100 games for the Brumbies and has 72 Test caps.

Wallabies coach John Connolly is expected to name halfback Gregan as his captain for the World Cup and, barring injury, Larkham should start at first five-eighths.

Despite expecting the Brumbies being determined to mark the occasion with a win, Thorne said the Crusaders are not going to change their approach in an attempt to blunt their enthusiasm.

"We are aware of it. We just have to make sure we don't give them too many opportunities where they get their tails up and get a roll on."

The Crusaders have not won in the Australian capital since 2003. Previous losses were in 2005 and the 2004 final - the latter when the Brumbies built up an early 33-0 lead and held on to win 47-38.

Meanwhile, Brumbies captain Stirling Mortlock was named yesterday as expected to make a timely comeback from injury.
Mortlock insisted his side would not be distracted by the emotion surrounding the Brumbies legends.

"Everyone's fully aware of the significance of playing the Crusaders in regards to furthering our season, and we realise the best we can do is to focus on our preparation, execute our game plan and send these guys away from Canberra Stadium winners," the incumbent Wallabies skipper told AAP.


Go The Brumbies!!


...I'm feeling so lacklustre right now....

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Larkham. The Coach Maker.

April 26th 2007 15:07
Weeeellll......hadn't done a Larkham post in a while....hadn't mentioned his name for a while either.

Thought I'd change all that because...well...sob...this weekend...Stephen Larkham and George Gregan play their last home games for the Brumbies at Canberra Stadium.

Maybe.

Anyway I can't talk about it.

....now I know y'all think I'm a total looney (don't deny it, just nod your heads, remember, I can't see you...or so you think...) when it comes to Larkham but I'm not a looney for nothing...the Man is Brilliance on legs...oh his legs...ouch..

from www.keo.co.za

Waratahs coach Ewan McKenzie says his chances of coaching Australia would’ve been better had he coached Stephen Larkham.

Hmm....sure, I believe this but...his chances would've been better if the Waratahs actually played like a professional Rugby team instead of a bunch of pansy ass pewter geeks who think bravery is a donkey factory.

What?

Never mind. Long story


McKenzie is one of a number of candidates, who include Blues and Brumbies coaches David Nucifora and Laurie Fisher, in line to take over from Wallaby incumbent John Connolly after the World Cup.


David Nucifora?

David Nucifora???..echo..echo...echo...

Nucifora? Who coached the Brumbies from 2002-04 and managed to alienate all his players who then went on to thrash the Crusadists Super 12 '04 final 47-38 (ohhhhh...that was such a great match...) despite the fact that the team ousted the coach Nucifora?

...well...I suppose his main opponents won't be here next year....sob....but still, the traitorous bastard is coaching the Auckland Blues and giving away all the Brumbies secrets.

Hang on...why is this about the Brumbies again?


But he said his chances were slim, given the superior win records of his competitors. A major reason for this, he implied, was that both Nucifora and Fisher coached Stephen Larkham.

Anyone who coaches Steve Larkham looks like a good coach,” McKenzie said. “If you’re a coach and you’ve got Steve Larkham in your stable you’ve generally got a pretty good win-loss record.

...and if you're a fan and you've got Larkham in your stable....let's ride...

O Lawd....that's crass....


“You look through the names and you work it out pretty quick, so he’s a good guy to be coaching.”

Why am I not a coach?


Nucifora won 14 of his 24 matches as Brumbies coach. His two seasons with the table-topping Blues has reaped 14 wins and eight losses.

Fisher’s won 13 of his 19 matches with the Brumbies [two draws], but five of those losses came in his debut season in 2005 when Larkham was injured.


I can't figure out how to end this post so I'm just going to end it. Now.


98
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Hewat and I think I know why....

April 23rd 2007 07:58
To fully appreciate this post, you need to read the previous post
The Rest of The Super 14 Week 12 Results

...to at least this line...
He is in a class of his own. Actually....Hewat belongs with the Brumbies

from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Hewat ready to pack his bags

Peter Hewat will pursue a lucrative overseas contract offer before his current deal expires next year if the door is closed on his Wallabies selection hopes and the NSW and Australian rugby unions may not stand in his way.

"That's true. If the Wallabies are out then I may talk about seeking a release on my last year," said Hewat, who has had offers from France, England and Japan. "I've tried not to think about it over the last weeks because I have wanted to concentrate on the Super 14 and not let it affect my game.

"But now as we are getting to the last couple of games and the Wallabies will soon start, I'll have to think about it. There comes a time when I have to think about the future.

"But I have loved every minute at the Waratahs and really appreciate what Ewen [McKenzie] has done. He saw in me what others may not have, or still don't."

NSW coach McKenzie yesterday said.....if Hewat - who potted four from five kicks against the Highlanders and scored two of NSW's three tries to extend his career tally of Super 14 points to 489 and season score to 125 - is not in the Wallabies selection frame, then NSW Rugby and the ARU should at least consider giving him a clearance.

McKenzie said for a player such as Hewat, who is 29 and has already rejected offers because of his desire to play for Australia, there is "a human element in all this. I don't think you want to be too bloody-minded about it".

"We've always had a philosophy to try to develop players for the national team," McKenzie said. "If it becomes clear that someone's never going to play for the national team … we're not talking about a 20-year-old here. We're talking about a guy that's [almost] 30-plus and there's some big opportunities for him.

"He's had really serious offers thrown at him from overseas and he's spurned those the last couple of years. Rightly so, because we've had him on contract."


I am telling you now....Hewat had a slipadictomy...in the wrong place, wrong time....
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I will say this about the Waratahs...just when one has totally relegated them to the scrap heap...they come up fighting.
Okay...maybe they come up a little too late to actually survive but they don't die quietly.

Woeful match...except for the last 10 minutes...

Highlanders 26
Tries: Waqaseduadua, Evans, Kawau
Conversions: Evans (1)
Pen Goals: Evans (3)

Waratahs 25
Tries: Hewat (2), Holmes
Goal: Hewat (2)
Pen Goals: Hewat (2)

I have to say this.

If Peter Hewat (Waratahs #15 Fullback) does not get picked for the Wallabies squad this year...one has to ask...which official's wife is he sleeping with????

He is in a class of his own. Actually....Hewat belongs with the Brumbies.

(The Funny thing about The Brumbies...majority of them are from NSW...NSW cannot hold on to their talent...no...they let them go...they would much rather recruit league players...)

Speaking of belonging with The Brumbies...the other class act of the night was Josh Holmes (Tahs # 9 scrumhalf and his debut match).
This youngster was brilliant and guess what?...he's going to The Brumbies next year, which makes him a very smart rookie...with Gregan (#9 scrumhalf Brumbies and Wallabies) retiring from Australian Rugby this year, the Brumbies will need someone to fill his humongous shoes.

And I'm getting old now.

Rocky Elsom (Tahs lock and stand in Captain) was brilliant. His work rate is unmatched and he may not have natural talent but he's a mongrel and he fights for that ball and he never says die.
I'm sure he's like to kill some of his teammates...especially the Backs...but he manages to restrain himself.

All the Waratahs Forwards worked hard.
Al Baxter (#3 prop), David Lyons (#8) and Adam Freir (replacement hooker) all proved deserving of a Wallabies jersey because lest we forget...there is a Rugby World Cup on this year and only 15 jerseys up for grabs.

Well, there's more but only the First 15 really count.

The Highlanders sucked.

They played really well.

They saw all the holes the Tahs left open and they seized them. They forced mistakes and they used them to their advantage. Then they got complacent. And that's when the Waratahs decided to wake up.

Anton Oliver (High #2 hooker) is so not a pretty man but damn...he's been around a long time and he's a workhorse. Prick.

I don't really like saying anything nice about All Black players but...he's a really nice guy, very erudite, very humble. Prick.

And. What. The. HELL. Was. This?????

This bunch of freakin' idiots in the stadium wearing what looked like black mops on their heads and red t-shirts(?) as a thank you to Lote Tuqiri.

Okay, I get the black mops, I don't give a shit about the red t-shirts but I DO NOT GET "thank you".

Thank you??? For staying on in Rugby?? Lote? Dude? Do you relise that if you had left, we would have thanked you with praises and presents?

You stay and this is what you get.
Black mops and red (wtf?) t-shirts.


Best Soundbyte of the night, during the 73rd minute as a scrum was being set;
"Everyone be quiet. I'm trying to make a decision. I need a clear head"

And the crowd went silent. In disbelief.

Refs are idiots.


***************************** *********************


Reds 23 - Cheetahs 13

I'm so astounded by this I can't write.

Now they decide to win a match.

Sheesh.

I'm done.


***************************** *********************

Yeah...other teams played. So?


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Word of warning. This post actually contains some Rugby information.

Word of advice. I said some.


Brumbies 14
Tries: Paul
Conversions: Huxley 0/1
Penalties: Huxley 2/2, Gerrard 1/1

Force 12
Penalties: Giteau 4/4

I should be happy with the result but...I'm not. This was basically the Australian team against Australia A
No no no....the Australian team, wrapped in sticky tape and running through molasses against Australia A slicked in oil and running through wax paper

The Brumbies should have used The Force against them. Instead they allowed the cretins from the West Side to play mind tricks with them. AND....they could not capitalize on the Force having not one...but two players sin binned. They focused too much on the defense and forgot to attack.

AND....do not get me started on the Ref. Oh look, too late.

I know the Ref -Stuart Dickinson- and although he is a friend*, as a Ref?...he is as his name suggests.

(*that's not a name drop. This is a name drop.)
n
a
m
e

Dickinson's major problem is that he is in love with the sound of his own whistle. AND... funnily enough, considering that this is something ele I should perhaps look on with favour but it disgusts my sense of fairplay....Dickinson seems to be a bit in awe of the Brumbies stars. He kept penalizing the Force for infringements that he overlooked with The Brumbies.

I don't really want to discuss this match. At times it looked like a tennis-soccer hybrid (tencer?) what with all the bloody kicking for touch going on.

Children repeat after me:
Rugby Union Is A Running Game


Even though The Brumbies dominated possesion, only one try was scored by them (Jeremy Paul #2 hooker) and everyone was off their game.

Even Gregan (Brumbies #9 and utter legend) thought he was playing tag when he decided to give Matt Giteau (Force #10 and utter girlie skirt and ex Brumbie but really just a hobby horse), a 'friendly pat', which resulted in the Force being awarded a penalty, which Giteau (naff ponce) promptly converted.

Lots of painful but thank goodness not end-of-game injuries. George Smith (Brumbies mongrel aka flanker) looked like he had a kidney yanked when he got tackled and there was one moment during the game when my heart stopped.....and my shoulder twinged...and hope deserted me...but that was just one moment.

Never say die* got up and took no prisoners.

Matt Gerard (Brumbies winger) did not have a good night...giving away the silliest of silly penallties...but he redeemed himself by kicking the winning penalty goal in the final minute of the game.

The look of relief on the players faces when fulltime whistle blew...

It was a very "scrappy" game. Both Captains -George Smith, Brumbies and Nathan Sharpe, Force- acknowledged this.

I'm glad we The Brumbies won but you could see it on their senior players faces...it wasn't a victory.

It was interesting watching this match with DDH. He was with The Force for this match. Actually...it sucks watching Rugby with him. He's got some weird notion that no matter which team loses....Rugby wins and a good match is a good match.

Sportsmanship. Blargh.

He felt that The Brumbies did not deserve to win this match because the Force played far too well to lose. No...not so much that.
He felt that The Force did not deserve to lose because The Brumbies did not play well.

...and I had to agree with him. After I yelled at him.


Anyway.

The Brumbies are now in the running for the semi-finals.

This weekend, they play the Crusadists.

....oh man....this could get ugly.....

I will never EVER lose faith in my beloved Brumbies but I am a teeny weeny bit worried about this upcoming match.

The Crusaders...curse their All Black hearts...are in fine form and although The Brumbies have certainly kicked their ass on a number of occasions...including the worst ever thrashing the Crusadist bastards ever received...they need to get nasty.

Maybe they should blog....hey...it's good practise....


*never said his name....











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Big weekend of Rugby....we're in Week 12 now and what do you mean you didn't know that because I haven't actually been writing much to do wiith Rugby??

Everything I write has to do with Larkham Rugby.

Anyway.

Unfortunately we are unable to get to Canberra tonight for this match and I know some of you are breathing a huge sigh of relief because now you won't be forced to read some drunken late night rambling post and I say forced because some of you are just wonderful and will put up with support my riposte....and rest assured I will be wearing my new and proper tee....


from www.ninemsn.com.au
Wide World of Sports


Western Force skipper Nathan Sharpe has indicated his side is targeting Brumbies playmaker* Stephen Larkham in this Friday night's crucial Super 14 clash in Canberra.

The #10 flyhalf position is also called pivot or playmaker because the #10 decides which passage of play to go up and also because this particular #10 plays me his opponents like he plays chess....we're they're his pawns!

Larkham has recovered from a mid-season shoulder injury to lead the Brumbies to three consecutive wins in their last three starts and is displaying some of the best form of his career.

...best ass too...


But Sharpe admits that Larkham's former Brumbies team-mates Matt Giteau, Matt Henjak and Scott Fava have been giving the Force plenty of background information on the talented flyhalf.

"Gits, Henjak and Fava know how Bernie (Larkham) runs their side and we've had a good look at how to shut him down," Sharpe told The Australian.

Bloody traitors. They're with the dark side of The Force.
Go get 'em Steve...


"No mistake, if we let Bernie run, he'll dominate the game."

The game? Fuck that. He dominates. Full stop.


However, Sharpe was also quick to point out that the Force cannot waste all their energy on shutting down Larkham as the Brumbies, even without injured skipper Stirling Mortlock, have a host of other attacking options in their star-studded backline, including George Gregan, Adam Ashley-Cooper and inform utility back Julian Huxley

"We can't afford to focus exclusively on him (Larkham)," said Sharpe. "He'll quickly realise that and distribute the ball to where the holes are.

There is so much I could say write now but to do so would be the height of vulgarity and crass humour. And I'm not like that.


Here's the rest of the article without my sinput.

"They've got world-class players right across the park but a guy like Julian Huxley is someone we'll really have to watch."

Clyde Rathbone, who missed the Brumbies last match against the Waratahs with a thigh injury, is expected to be fit for this Friday's crucial clash.

Meanwhile, Brumbies head coach Laurie Fisher indicated that with only three games to go until the semi-finals, both sides are desperate to win and grab bonus points for scoring four or more tries.

"Obviously, both sides will be up for it and you're now at that stage of the season where you're not only looking to win but also to score bonus points, so I'm expecting some tries," Fisher


The Brumbies v The Western Force

Tonight Friday April 20th at 7;40.
Canberra Stadium, Brisbane...kidding!...of course it's in Canberra. Duh.


...and everybody else...

Friday, April 20th, 2007
Crusaders v Hurricanes, Jade Stadium, Christchurch, 5:35pm

Saturday, April 21st, 2007
Reds v Cheetahs, Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, 3:30pm
Chiefs v Sharks, Waikato Stadium, Hamilton, 5:35pm
Waratahs v Highlanders, Aussie Stadium, Sydney, 7:40pm
Lions v Bulls, Ellis Park, Johannesburg, 11:00pm

Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
Stormers v Blues, Newlands, Cape Town, 1:05am


GO THE BRUMBIES!!!!

...May The Force Be With You....



81
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A Brumbies Prop...er...Tee...

April 18th 2007 15:37
Sooner or later I will have to face this truth.
I can handle this truth.
I just don't want to hear it.


I will never be a Rugby Union Prop.

Before I go any further, let me define Prop for those of you who are into;
a) Aviation
b) Boating
c) Weariness
d) Acting
e) Drama

A Rugby Union Prop is a Forward...#1 or #3. The Front Rowers.
The toughest people on a Rugby field.
No Larkham isn't a Front Rower. No He's not a Forward either. No it doesn't matter.
The front row is the cauldron, the foundation for all good rugby play.

The closest I'm going to get to being a (Wallabies/Brumbies/Club Rugby/hell...juniors) Prop is in my dreams.
...and vicariously through my Husband*
He's an ex Prop and at 6'2" and 100kg...I (not short nor small) am tiny in comparison.
Trying to tackle him is like...well...tackling a real Prop.

So...I'm not the real deal...I'm just...propaganda (a propagoose?)...

However...today I received something that has left me feeling, shall we say...ironically justified?

I may never be a Brumbies Prop...but I'm now in a Proper tee-shirt....




*It was DDH who said I should share this with y'all so blame thank him.

Actually I was running out of people to tell.

DDH was the first person I called as soon as I received this...Murphy's Law being the prick that it is...DDH's mobile was on speaker...hearing the bosses wife scream "oh my God, Oh My GOD, OH MY GOD!!!" over the phone isn't perhaps the best thing ever.

Aneewayyy.

Then the kids got sick of me.
...and there's only so many times one can email/call ones friends.

Please note that this is not the only supporters garment I own. I have many many bits and pieces (t-shirts, polos, scarves, caps, visors, snot rags beanies) BUT...no jersey.

I feel, being an old school jockette, that one should earn the right to wear a Wallabies/Brumbies/ sporting jersey....and being a rabid fan doesn't count as having done the hard yards (which is why I have such a problem with players out of their league...).

Having said that, I used to play Rugby.

And I only wear these items when I'm training, attending a match or watching a match. I mean hello?...not that rabid.

There is one supporters item that I do have that never really leaves the house.
....because as tragic as I am in regards to Larkham...there is no way in hell I will ever be caught wearing his face on my chest.

In public.


And the reason I am writing this at such an unreasonable time (it's now 1:35am)?

...because DDH is away...and me without him...is like a stage without a Prop.

The show goes on but it's empty.




86
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More Rugby (on my) Terms: Part 1

April 16th 2007 11:35
It is Rugby World Cup year and I had started my Let's Learn About Rugby (Rugby for Funnies) series but that kind of got sidetracked into Let's Learn About Larkham (Rugby for Yummies...)

...um...one word of advice...okay more than one word....a statement of my vice...

You know how I have this punchant for word play?...bitextual leanings?...inability to write like a mature normal writer person?...capable of leaping tall poppies in a single boundless breath?...faster than a speeding bulletin (what?)...oh hang on...got my personas mixed up...Pun-k Rucker with Superky Girl...

My point is...you may notice that the definitions/descriptions given here are not entirely serious.
So...I have also provided, as much as possible, the Truth...as opposed to Fact.



Glossary of Rugby Terms:

Foul play:
Fact
What the other side does.
If your team does it, it's called a tactical manouevre.

Truth
See Fact


Maul:
Fact
Free-for-all scavenge where the ball is kept off the ground.

Truth
- Is also what happens when a player has been tackled by opponents and cannot advance the ball further. Unless you're a Forward being tackled (ha!) by Backs...or you're Stephen Larkham....sigh....

- Players (3 or more) can then bind themselves into a maul.

- The maul ends when the ball is on the ground, when the ball or the player who had been carrying it emerges from the maul or when a scrum is called for.

- I'd like to get mauled by...no not going there....

A Maul differs from a Ruck because a -


Ruck:
Fact
...is a free-for-all scavenge where the ball is kept on the ground.
It's also the accidentally on purpose stepping on (with studded boots) an opponent lying in an offside position.
Also a very handy way to swear on field.

Truth
- Is also what happens when a player has been tackled by opponents and the ball has gone to the ground, players (3 or more) then bind themselves into a ruck.

- The ruck ends when the ball leaves the ruck (it rucks off) and can be handled by a player who is not part of the ruck.

- A player may not use his/her hands to play the ball while it is in a ruck. Doing so results in a penalty for the opposition. And that really sucks.


Offside:
Fact
What happens everytime the Ref is winded, which is about every 5 seconds and he/she decides that a player can be blamed for not being where he/she should be. Big pansy.

Truth
- Is actually an infringement made when a player crosses the gain (dead ball) line during a lineout, maul, ruck, or scrum before it has been completed.

- or when a player is in front of the ball while it is played by a teammate.

- A penalty is called if an offside player then plays the ball, obstructs or tackles an opponent, or is within 10 metres of an opponent waiting for the ball.

- The other side is awarded a penalty kick from the point of infringement or a scrum at the place where the offending side last played the ball. This too really sucks.


Advantage:
Fact
This is when you hear the callers/presenters say that the Ref has decided to play on and not blow his trumpet whistle for an obvious transgression straight away, because the Ref didn't actually see it but knows something went down because the Touch Judges are waving their flags around like a bunch of pansies...which means they want to get on TV.

Truth
- is actually a method of refereeing.

- The referee allows the game to proceed uninterrupted as long as the ball is in play and there are no major infringements.

- Play can continue after an infringement if the non-offending team gains an advantage.


Breakdown:
Fact
When the Ref has had enough

Truth
Area where players were tackled and/or the ball is loose on the ground.


Charge Down:
Fact
What happens every time I hear Stephen Larkham's name mentioned on TV and I'm elsewhere in the house

Truth
Blocking a kick made by the opponent with the hands, arm or body.


Dummy:
Fact
Affectionate name for the Ref, usually based on reality

Truth
A technique where one pretends to pass the ball


Dead ball:
Fact
What happens when a foot or shoulder connects with the wrong one. Obviously does not happen in Womens Rugby

Truth
The ball becomes dead if it goes out of bounds (the gain line) or if the referee stops play for any reason because he's a Big Pansy and he's puffed.


Obstruction:
Fact
The dick sitting in front of me at a Brumbies/Wallabies game

Truth
Getting in the way of an opponent who's chasing the ball. Also called blocking. Results in the awarding of a penalty to the opposition. Sucks if you get caught doing this.


...and I think I'll call it a night now....

Stay tuned for More Rugby (on my) Terms: Part Two

(...hip swivel...snarl...) Thankyerveree much



162
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Return of The Red Eye...

April 14th 2007 10:44
It's half-time.

Waratahs 16 - Reds 6

...okay....even though I have missed the majority of this match..
(because I was here typing comments...and yeah...I really don't care who wins the prize for not coming last...this is the score people...the whole point of a competition series is to win it)...anyway, where was I?


I just had to quickly post this.

As the Reds caught their breath on the sideline at the start of half-time....someone should have played the Imperial March....

Eddie Jones is Darth Redder....and he's giving his team the Red eye....

I can only imagine that what's happening in the dressing room...as I type...is not pretty.

As for the Tahs?...

Yeah.

Whatever.

...twas the Stephen that broke the Waratahs Backs...and Forwards...and team morale...

Rocky Elsom (Waratahs #6) is the only...er...hard hitter from what I've seen.

...and when did Andrew Walker (Reds winger #14) come back? His boots may be made for kicking but the dude walks away a lot...oh well...I don't really give a damn...he once was a Brumby... and now...he's not.


I'll be back...but I'm a Forward...


Game on.



****************************

Game over.


Fulltime score:
NSW Waratahs 26 - Qld Reds 13

Waratahs 26
Tries: Valentine, Robinson
Conversions: Hewat (2)
Penalties: Hewat (4)

Reds 13
Tries: Schifcofske
Conversions: Schifcofske
Penalties: Schifcofske (2)

And the Wooden Spoon goes to....

The Reds.

Interesting game...the only passion and fire shown was during the 'discussion' between players...

I'm not sure I want to write about this now.

...my spirit is down...it was a good drop...

What's happened to The Tahs?

When will it ever happen for The Reds?


68
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Pardon My French...

April 13th 2007 08:19
....but this f**king sucks.

I have been aware for quite some time that all good things in Rugby come to an end.

John Eales' career.

My Husband's Rugby days.

Australia's winning streak.

Our trophy collection.

An 80 minute game.

Rugby season.

My dream of picked for the Wallabies.

And this.....please don't cry for me Argentina...everyone else...go right ahead.


from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Wallabies playmaker Stephen Larkham is poised to follow the lead of longtime halves partner George Gregan and finish his career in France.

Larkham is understood to have received a lucrative offer to play for star-studded French club Toulouse after the World Cup.

Toulouse are keen to sign the 95-Test veteran to replace French Test star Frederik Michalak who is joining the Durban-based Sharks for the 2008 Super 14.

"My French is terrible, but hopefully they'll also speak a bit of English to help me through," Larkham told rugbyexclusive.com.

"The idea of playing for a great club like Toulouse is very attractive and it certainly would be another challenge."

Larkham has made no secret of the fact 2007 will be his farewell season in Australia and the Brumbies have set in stone plans to replace him.

"We think in Julian Huxley we've got a replacement there and (inside centre) Gene Fairbanks can also play 10," said Brumbies boss Andrew Fagan.

"We've also got young (Brisbane student) Matt Toomua on a rookie contract for 2008 and have former Australian U19 and U21 Christian Lealiifano on our books."

Larkham, 32, will end his Test career with longtime teammate and friend Gregan, who has signed with French second division club Toulon, after playing his third World Cup.

He also has received interest elsewhere in Europe and Japan and says he may play two more seasons.

Larkham returned to vintage form in the Brumbies 36-10 thumping of NSW last weekend to propel the Canberra-based team into the Super 14 top four, but isn't totally satisfied.

"I'm reasonably happy with the way I played against the Waratahs but there are areas I'd like to improve such as my body height in the cleanout and my defence," he said.

Larkham will become just the third Wallaby, behind Gregan (127) and David Campese (101), to pass 100 caps in Melbourne against the All Blacks on June 30 if he plays the first five Tests of the year.


I have always wondered why I speak French when I am soooooo not a Francophile.

The men are repulsive.
The food is far too cloying.
The women far too thin.
The snails far too slow.
The players far too squirrel like.

...but now I know.

Next year....it will be Allez Le Toulouse!!!

ohhh....that just sounds so wrong...


....sob.....I am so upset right now....I need another block of chocolate.....


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from www.sportal.com.au ...the worst Rugby news I've heard for a while...will never be as bad as 'Larkham Injured' or 'Larkham Not Playing' or Larkham Not Mentioned' but...it's not good.


Australian Rugby Union chief executive Gary Flowers is to step down from the post after a tumultuous three-year reign.

...you mean a three year drought....


Flowers has called a press conference for noon on Friday to announce his decision.

Eh?
...announce of flesh.....

He will remain in the position until December 31.

New Year's Grieve.


Flowers' departure may pave the way for former ARU boss John O'Neill's return following his successful stint as boss at Football Federation Australia.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

No. No. No. Fuck No.

John O'Neill is a weed...tweedledumb and tweedledumber rolled into one.

Flowers took on the ARU's top job in June 2004 and has attracted constant criticism for a perceived lack of leadership.

Yeah well....with a name like Flowers....

Flowers was a pansy (...?...) and he may not be a perennial....he didn't last 3 seasons...but John O'Neill is.....cactus.

A total prick.


Flowers tried, he really did and his list of accomplishments should have made this gig a bed of roses but...what do you expect from a man who hasn't actually played Rugby?

It's as ironic as paying a league player squillions to not play Rugby.

Less ironic than bringing back the fool who f**ked Australian Rugby.

Under the 'weedership' of O'Neill.....Australian Rugby was nipped in the bud.




OH MY Godeity.

Me. Pick Me.

If I was the CEO of the Australian Rugby Union....I'd......fill in the blanks.....



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12:34am 09/04/07

Brumbies 36 - Waratahs 10


Brumbies 36
Tries: Gerrard 2, Tawake, Larkham 2
Conversions: Huxley 2, Gerrard 2
Penalties: Huxley

Waratahs 10
Tries: Elsom
Conversions: Hewat
Penalties: Hewat


Oh My God. This was not just a game...this was....yay-yuh!

It's freezing here tonight but the Brumbies were on fire...and their 20,000 fans basked in their heat in Bruce...sorry...Canberra Stadium.

The hotel bar is still pumping and I am on such a high.....sigh....the Tahs fans skulked off to their rooms ages ago to nurse their injured pride and Brumbies fans?

Oh yeah...you won't be able to rein 'em in tonight...they're going wild....in honour of their thoroughbreds....the bold, the beautiful, THE BRUMBIES.

I'm really on too high a cloud to write...and believe it or not this is not incohol alduced...well, okay a little...hey it's cold okay?

I feel compelled to write something because that's why I brought my husband's laptop with me because I knew...just knew...I would have something to write home about.

Just a quick one...a first past the post...I'm feeling the after effects now...you must understand...people like me...we don't just watch...we're in the game...we feel it....experience it...live it...and people like my Husband?...oh God...well, he truly did live it... as much as I go on (and on and on...) about well you know who...my Husband?... the biggest, the deepest, the most wonderful sigh of them all...if I could be anyone for a day, I would be Him...and I don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of that.

Did I say I was on a high?

I am with my beautiful Husband, my beautiful children...our team won...in spectacular fashion and....well....just read on....

from ninemsn.com.au

Larkham heaps more misery on Waratahs
Sunday Apr 8 22:44 AEST

Stephen Larkham tormented the NSW Waratahs one last time as the Brumbies surged into the Super 14 top four with a crushing 36-10 victory over their arch-rivals at Canberra Stadium.

Yes. It was Larkham. All Larkham.

....no... that's not fair...the team was magnificent...and let this be a lesson to all you Gregan detractors...George was superb, as always as far as I'm concerned ....and the Forwards were just...God...amazing...but... Larkham?

....as my Husband kept saying..."settle darling".....

Well, when you're that close to the Larkham action...

The champion five-eighth was in everything as the Brumbies ran in five tries to one to secure their first bonus-point win of the season.

In a dominant display, Larkham set up the first try, was heavily involved in the lead-up to the second, had a hand in the third and scored the fourth and fifth himself.

The 33-year-old's masterful performance lifted the Brumbies above the Western Force into fourth position on the ladder and extended the Waratahs' winless run to eight matches.

Larkham, halfback George Gregan and hooker Jeremy Paul were all playing their final derbies against NSW before finishing their careers overseas and they fittingly finished with a bang, helping the Brumbies snap a four-year losing streak against the Waratahs in stylish fashion.

My Husband and children and anyone who knows me all feel that my love of Rugby may wane next year....how cruel....I'm no fairweather fan...I guess I'll just be following more overseas teams....

With Larkham untouchable, the backline on song and dynamic flanker Jone Tawake leading the Brumbies pack, the home team were never seriously threatened.

They made a dream start, with Larkham breaking through some flimsy NSW defence before putting winger Mark Gerrard over for the opening try in just the third minute.

The Waratahs threatened a comeback.....blah blah blah...........But Larkham's tries in the 61st and 72nd minutes, both converted by Gerrard, made it a rout.

The Brumbies have the bye next week before taking on the fifth-placed Force in a potentially decisive round-12 encounter in Canberra.


I must go.
I can't really explain why I am here typing this instead of soaking up the love I am blessed to have in my life...well...........yes I do*.

I wanted to share my joy.

It's the only thing I know how to share....





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Wild Horses...Drag Me Away...

April 5th 2007 12:01
...grrrrr......
....grrrrrr.....




It's going to be a stampede.

....and guess where I will be this weekend?.....ahuh....that's right sugah....noooo....not in the dressing room....


Week 10:

08/04/07: Brumbies v Waratahs Canberra 7:30pm Fox Sports 2


For those of you who don't know (don't care about the ones who don't care), this is a big match...a huuuuge match. It's THE match of the Super series.

The Brumbies are playing at home (Stadium formerly known as Prince...sorry...Bruce Stadium, Canberra) and oh my God....if they lose (which they have done before...I wasn't there....coincidence?....)....there will be hell to pay.

Well not really but I'm lost for suitable words a ce moment. I'm so lost I've resorted to ecrivez en Francais. I'm such a poncy naff...um...ponce.

I'm in a rush so I'll let the good people at www.rugby.com.au fill you in...

Form

The Brumbies have seemingly turned the corner in the season and are climbing up the ladder thanks to good wins over the Sharks and Lions on a particularly difficult South African tour.

They go into this match with a winning confidence and the calming influence of veteran playmaker Stephen Larkham leading them around the park.

I wouldn't call his influence on me calming. No. Not calming.


The Waratahs should have won last week against a near full-strength Crusaders outfit. It just goes to show they can be and probably should have been a potent force in the Super 14 this year.
However, they did still leak six tries so not all their problems are solved, but they will have taken plenty of confidence from last week's close encounter of the rugby kind.

(Why can't these idiots people just write straight? Why do they think they can write with pun-ache? Like me?....tee hee.....mwah ha ha.....)


Who's hot

.....he he....who do ya think?

Brumbies utility back Julian Huxley has been simply outstanding in every position he has played this season and is a certified match winner.

Whatever. This is what I think of Julian.

Larkham has also been in sparkling form since returning from injury

Oh yeah. Like a vintage champagne. ....Wanna pop that cork....

Eeek. Shouldn't have written that. Delete Delete Delete.
Ah dang it. It stays.



...while lock Mark Chisholm, props Guy Shepherdson and Nic Henderson and No.8 Stephen Hoiles continue to shine in the pack.

Go The Forwards! yay-yuh!

Teenage winger Lachlan Turner* continues his blazing start to his Super rugby career and showed up some quality campaigners last week. Sam Harris played well off the bench and earns his starting spot while Sam Norton-Knight** proved more than useful at flyhalf.
Up front Rocky Elsom is leading the pack along with David Lyons, who is getting back to his peak.

*NRJRC alumni (and how proud are we??...can't believe my freakin' sons wanted a life...)

**Interesting to see how Nor' Tonight luv-ahv-gotta-edache fares against his mentor.


Go The Brumbies!!!!


...and please give up any notion/idea/hope that you'll see Stephen Larkham get tackled by someone other than a Waratah. As much as I'd like to...in public, I'm a little more restrained than I am here...I've got a rep to protect you know?...and I so do not want to get sin-binned....



Alright....here's the rest of the schedule....

Week 10:

06/04/07: Blues v Cheetahs Auckland 5:30pm FS2

07/04/07: Highlanders v Chiefs Queenstown 12:30am FS2

07/04/07: Crusaders v Western Force Christchurch 5:30pm FS2
07/04/07: Reds v Sharks Brisbane 7:30pm FS2

07/04/07: Stormers v Lions Cape Town 1:00am FS1

Hurricanes/Bulls BYE



Happy Easter Sportsfans!
....hope you all have a great weekend...I will.



114
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If They Can't Join You...

April 4th 2007 03:56
....beat 'em....


Actually this started out as a post about Nice v Nasty....why is being nice a vice? and why is nasty, nice?....but I got...um...distracted....I'm still doing that post though....


There are a few people around (okay...one) who think(s) they (he) can beat me at my own game.

I don't think so.


Stephen Larkham
.....is a Rugby God...


photo courtesy of www.bbc.co.uk/rugby
I will never get board of this...



photo courtesy of...well you can see it...
....rev me up....ouch...



photo courtesy of ARU
....hmmm...what would Dusk do?.......



photo courtesy of www.sportal.com.au
A Brumby is a magnificent speciMan of nature...and a wild horse.



photo courtesy of Getty Images but taken from Brumbies site
Is that Dusk? Oh good...now I'll perform well... (it's my blog, my fantasy okay??)





Photos courtesy of:

Australian Rugby Union www.rugby.com.au
The Brumbies www.brumbies.com.au
www.sportal.com.auwww.planet-rugby.com
Getty Images
BBC Sport archives www.bbc.co.uk/rugby

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Okay...let me get this out of the way...

Watching Stephen Larkham play (run....walk...stand...blink....) is like....Oh God...it's just....just....well....it's not on the same level as watching my beautiful husband just be
(and I'm not including my beloved children nor my wonderful mother on this playing field because I'm talking about stirring emotions other than maternal/parental love...)
....but....you know....it's just so.....ohhhhhhh....



Right.

It's 3:10am and fuelled by one Corona (too many) and a night of test-rogen, I just have to write this.

The Brumbies played the Lions in Jo'burg, Sud Efrika.

Brumbies 14 - Lions 9.

Okay we won but it was a damn weird game. The Brumbies are just not playing with their usual flair and magnificence

....damn I'm seeing double letters on this keyboard....

It wasn't quite a stampede. Lots of handling errors and that was one damn greasy prolate spheroid that kept knocking on and slipping forward.

What has happened to the Brumbies genius passage of play?

Where is the dash? The elan? The spirit? The flair?

Where are the set pieces of play that when perfectly executed....and they almost always were...left the opposition wondering what the hell just happened???

....is that how you spell 'pieces'? why does it look so weird? is that how you spell 'wierd'???....should I be writing this now? Is there such a thing as WUI???

The Lions should not have played as well as they did against this team of wild horses.
The Brumbies line-up was a veritable team of veteran titans and to win by only 5 points is nothing to ride home about and no that is not a typo.

AND what the bloomin' hell does Julian Huxley (Brumbies #15 fullback) think he's doing??

I thought he was playing well until DDH (that would be DuskDevi Husband...."my husband" just starts getting all QE2 like...) pointed out one little fact.

Julian Huxley does not play Rugby.

He kicks his way out of it. It's lazy play. He doesn't run with the ball, he doesn't tackle much, he doesn't like to get tackled (freakin' backs) and he gets 'scared' when it comes to him getting crunched.

When Larkham was injured Huxley took his place at #10 (flyhalf) and by all accounts he was good at this position and yes, he is good at what he does....kicking....but....I just took a quick look at his player statistics as flyhalf and his kick/pass/run ratio is something like this - 100/20/5.

Well it's not but you get the picture.

I will expand on this post tomorrow when I'm sober not so tired.


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It's halftime....The Waratahs are playing the Crusadists (I said it was semi serious....) at Aussie Stadium in Sydney.

Waratahs 15 - Crusadsacks 22

My husband and I were supposed to go but we gave our tickets to our boys friends and their parents are sitting here lamenting with us, the glow of the television highlighting our misery....well my misery...we're old, it's kinda cold (hey that rhymes...watch out you poets....)....

The game started at 7:30pm - Earth Hour - and The Tahs have indeed played like they're playing in the freakin' dark.

Who are these kids playing???
My youngest son's U10s team would give the Cruelsaders a run for their money.

And as for Tuqiri....

Please go. Just go now.
Tonight he truly has demonstrated that he is way out of his league.

Knorton-Night should have smacked the hell out of him....and then used passion as an excuse. See earlier post for clarification (link not provided will have to come back I'm in a rush).

The Tahs sorely lack and miss the experience and the power of Chris Whitaker (in Ireland), Daniel Vickerman (in jured), Phil Waugh (in jured) and.....Matthew Bourke (in exile...okay...in England...oh please come back Matt....)

....you know what else really and I mean really gets me?
Well of course you don't....that's why I'm going to tell you.

On this team are many many young men my boys have run rings around or my husband has coached.

Our boys could be there, right now, playing.... instead of groaning in their seats and thinking to themselves I would do this and I would do that.

But no....and you know why?

They wanted a life.

A life dammit.

Why did my husband and I encourage them to have one?

For the life of me....I don't know.

....to be continued....

Game back on. Must get off my soap box. For now.



Postus Interruptus



The Waratahs are actually ahead thanks to Larkham (sigh) wannabe Norton Knight.... oooh gotta go....





OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!


The Waratahs actually played like professional rugby players (sort of) in the second half.


Full time score:

Waratahs 33 - Crusaders 34


Tuqiri remembered he was playing in a Rugby Union team/match and actually did some work.

Peter Hewat......well.....

And the Touch Judge who made that call on Rico Gear (Crusaders #14).....obviously wanted to get on TV.....what a dick.

Okay....going......people to see......Coronas to drink....

Not to depressed, it's only The Waratahs.
The did well....

.....my beloved Larkham Brumbies will be playing soon.......


GO THE BRUMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!




.....tbc.....again....when I'm sober......




79
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And Finally....

March 30th 2007 07:56
Stephen Larkham
is a
Rugby God




.....and this is Why...(link provided....and the lust list of reasons why.........)





Um...by the way....the normal-to-an-extent- Rugby articles willl be back next week. I just need to collect on a promise first.....

Yes, I am a total slacker and yes a lot has happened this week in Rugby and yes there's results and schedules and game analyses, etc to be posted but....la la la la.....


In the meantime...

GO THE BRUMBIES!!!
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...because I am right.

That's right sugah.

Aha.

(hip snivel snarl) ...thankyervereemurch....


Will expand on this tomorrow when normal time has caught up with me.


from www.sportal.com.au

The Brumbies have revived their 2007 Super 14 hopes with an upset 21-10 win over the previously undefeated Sharks in Durban on Sunday morning.

The Australian outfit produced its best performance of the season and held a handy 18-0 lead at half-time

....and why?

The Sharks threw everything at the Brumbies in the second half, but a massive defensive effort by the ACT-based team restricted the home side to just 10 points.
The win is the Brumbies first every super rugby victory at Durban and moves them back to the top half of the table, while the Sharks slip to second after suffering their first loss of the campaign.

...and let me ask again....why?

Altogether now:

blah blah blah following the return of Wallabies flyhalf Stephen Larkham to No.10, blah blah blah blah....

Enough said.

I'll give you next week's winning lottery numbers tomorrow.
When I come back off my high horse....





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Stephen Larkham (sigh) is definitely back.

And my slump despair melancholy......oh bloomin' hell!!...what's the word I'm looking for?????

Whatever it is, it's quelled okay?

Larkham (sigh...oh stop that!) will make his eagerly awaited return to the Brumbies starting...
yes, starting, none of this bench b***shit....oh whoops, other way...bulls**t...
....line-up in this weekend's Super 14 match against the Sharks in Durban.

I have been miserable ever since...oh wait, this is not about me...Larkham has been miserably missing in action ever since suffering a subluxed sternoclavicular joint (aka f**ked shoulder), when a Hurricane landed on him on February 23.
(Brumbies v Hurricanes... results not available due to technical difficulties. I can't type it)

Supposedly Larkyum has been attending the games (friggin' cameramen should be sacked...I didn't see him...) and has been watching in frustration as the Brumbies have run around like headless horsemen with 'kick me I'm a loser' signs on their back.

Frustration?

He's frustrated??

I'll tell you frustration....really long rant....not a link...that's missing in this chain of events......I'm done now.

Got to say that Larkham is sorely needed (pun not intended but it stays and it's not really a pun anyway, as far as puns go, it's pretty lame....groan....) because oh yay, for a change Captain Stirling Mortlock has decided to get himself injured (during last week's abysmal loss match against the Cheetahs).
Just because he hasn't been injured enough this year.

Stirling is sooooo not made of steel.

Then there's Gene Fairbanks who has let a minor injury stop him from playing. I mean, who needs a neck?

Pansies.

Larkyum will start in his usual position of The Perfect 10.

Julian Huxley will still be around because, although he's no Larkham, he's a purty darn good player and he's not bad as a #10. I'd give him an 8.
Huxley will be playing inside centre because Stirling has been tarnished.

Harsh? Who's harsh?

George Smith, flanker aka mongrel is Captain this weekend.


GO THE BRUMBIES!!!!!


Brumbies v Sharks 25/03/07 @2:00am Fox Sports2


Oh...yes, that's right...there's other teams.

Waratahs v Blues 23/03/07 @6:30pm FS3

...and that'll do for now.





....just because the Sharks haven't been beaten this year is no reason to cue any silly themes from any silly movies.....yeah....you know who you are....cashmere....
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Super(14)Man Returns....

March 21st 2007 13:15
Look....up in the sky...it's a bird, it's a plane...no...it's DuskDevi jumping for joy...and...er...she jumped a bit too high and now she's stuck on top of a tree.

So, yeah...it's a bird....

Anyway.

The point of this post.

Larkham is back!!!!


Now please, let me reiterate....before the mocking comments start ...Larkham is NOT the start and end nor the reason for my love of Rugby.
Truly.

Truly.
.
Now....we all know why Larkham was MIA.
(right? you do right? you don't? oh look....it's the missing link...)


from www.sportal.com.au

Sharks coach Dick Muir has revealed he is wary of the return of Wallabies flyhalf Stephen Larkham to the Brumbies line-up for this weekend's Super 14 clash in Durban.

Sharks Coach Dick Muir (...D Muir...why would you do that to your child??) is a wise man.

Larkham has been sidelined with a shoulder injury since the week three match against the Hurricanes on February 23, and is racing the clock to be fit for Saturday night's crucial week eight match at the home of the Sharks, Absa Stadium.

"...racing the clock...".
Watch this space.

"He is something special and will bring consistency and experience to their backline," Muir said on South Africa's Superrugby website.

Encore.

"He is something special and will bring consistency and experience to their backline," Muir said on South Africa's Superrugby website.

"In addition to resuming his partnership with (scrumhalf) George Gregan, Larkham will also give direction to the backline with the lines he runs."

Unfortunately, Brumbies Coach Laurie Fisher has decided to be a Super 14 party pooper.
He has "indicated" that Larkham may not be fit enough to
...take his place in the starting line-up and would more than likely start with Julian Huxley at Number 10 again this weekend.
Rats.

....here's hoping the cameraman is as big a drooling fan as I am...sideline shots of bench players are interesting you know...

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Mr Ed(die) Chomping At The Bit...

March 19th 2007 15:05
....his bride(le) stopped him....

from www.rugbyheaven.smh.com.au


Fearful of his wife as much as further SANZAR penalty, Eddie Jones bit his tongue rather than use it to lash referee Brett Bowden after crucial decisions helped the Western Force dump Queensland into an even deeper Super 14 hole.

I'm willing to bet Eddie bit his tongue so hard, he qualified for the blood bin.

Already on the wrong end of $15,000 in fines this season*, the outspoken Jones decided to grin and bear it after the Australian official showed the beleaguered Reds no sympathy during their 38-3 pounding at Subiaco Oval on Friday night.

This was not a game. It wasn't even shame. It was a sham.

The ref?
Was trained by Huffy The Brick Layer.

*link provided if you want to know why Eddie Jones was fined and also if you want to read a very ironic comment.
cue: hysterical laughter track



A contentious penalty try, followed by a yellow and then red card to winger Peter Hynes all before half time made a difficult task almost impossible.

But Jones said any more sanctions for tirades against officialdom could cost him more than money.

"It has already cost me $15,000 this year, so I would be in debt for the season if I keep going," Jones said.

"I am not intending to get into further debt or I will probably end up in the divorce court as well.

Well...if she didn't divorce him when he was Wallabies coach....Mrs Jones really takes for better or for worse seriously...


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Another gem from The Book of Ulcer Prises.

from www.sportal.com.au

Lote Tuqiri has ended months of months of speculation by signing a five-year deal with the NSW Waratahs and the ARU.

After being given a deadline of 5pm on Monday, the Wallaby winger displayed his commitment to the 15-man game by finally putting pen to paper and signing the deal to stay with union until after the next World Cup in 2011.

Oh. My. God.
Commitment?
This is not commitment. Lunatics are more committed than this.
This is greed, financial and fame.

Chief Executive Officer of NSW Rugby Fraser Neill was ecstatic that Tuqiri had decided to stick with the code, and that the 27-year-old can now concentrate on the remainder of the Super 14 season with the Waratahs

Oh puh-lease.
This is such a sham.
The fact that his age has been quoted is a subtle dig at the fact that in 5 years time Tuqiri will be 32 and unless you're brilliant (like Larkham) and strong (like Larkham) and a God (Larkham)....32 is gettin' old in Rugby years....

ARU Chief Executive Officer Gary Flowers was just as happy that the matter had been closed, and now everyone can concentrate on the World Cup in France starting in September.

Oh thank God. Now we can all breathe again too.
Forget Flash Gordon.
It's Lote Tuqiri....saviour of the puny verse.....

"I am pleased Lote has reached his decision," Flowers said.

"It has been almost five months of uncertainty and speculation and for the sake of both Lote and Australian Rugby, it is a good thing a deal has finally been reached."

Could someone please give me a wall?
Thanks.
...bang...bang...bang...

In the past six months, Tuqiri had been courted by many NRL clubs who have been attempting to draw the former Brisbane Broncos player back to the 13-man game.

Uh-huh. Well, they should have painted a picture instead.

After interest from the Sharks, the Gold Coast Titans and the South Sydney Rabbitohs, Tuqiri knocked back a one year offer from the Rabbitohs earlier today, suggested to be around the $1 million mark.


Look....Tuqiri is a good player....and I will always acknowledge that out of all the league converts, he is the only one who truly seemed to grasp the game they play in heaven BUT... that's because he is Fijian by birth and Fiji is very much a Rugby Union stronghold.

I haven't followed this whole will he won't he bulls**T...I knew the outcome.
It was a done deal.
Tuqiri had no intention of leaving Rugby.
Tuqiri did grow up playing Rugby.
He isn't stupid.
All the time....click this....
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Super 14: Week 6 Match Scedule.

March 9th 2007 06:49
Oh who cares?

Larkham isn't playing.

















Kidding!



Super 14: Weak (not a typo) 6


Fri 9 March

5:30pm Highlanders v Reds (Fox Sports 3) Dunedin
7:30pm Brumbies v Stormers (FS3) Canberra
10:00pm Western Force v Hurricanes (FS3) Perth


Sat 10 March

5:30pm Blues v Lions (FS3) Auckland
7:30pm Waratahs v Bulls (FS3) Sydney


Sun 11 March

2:00am Cheetahs v Sharks (Fox Sports 1) Bloemfontein

Chiefs/Crusaders BYE
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There is a fine line between passion and shame.

(oh....sorry...if you're looking for S&M 'r' Us, that's a few blogs down....).

I really should have written this last Sunday or even Monday but I didn't.
So shoot me.
...my left profile is best, no fluoro lights.

Anywayyy.

I am shocked and appalled....what the hell I'll go the triple bill...and disgusted at Lote Tuqiri's behaviour during last weekend's match between the NSW Waratahs and the Western Force.

I'll let the good folk at www.sportal.com.au fill you in....

New South Wales Test winger Lote Tuqiri apologised to Sam Norton-Knight and his Waratahs team-mates after angrily pushing Norton-Knight at the completion of the 16-16 draw with the Western Force at Aussie Stadium.

Norton-Knight ignored the chance for NSW to win the match with a penalty goal after referee Paul Marks awarded the Waratahs a penalty 40 metres out from the Force line on the stroke of full-time.

With Hewat on his way over to take the shot for goal, Norton-Knight, a second half replacement for Morgan Turinui, grabbed the ball, took a tap penalty and raced ahead before chip kicking towards the Force goal-line.

But after Force winger Cameron Shepherd gathered the ball and hoofed it safely into touch to end the match, Tuqiri raced 20 metres towards Norton-Knight to unleash a verbal spray before pushing him in the back.

Once in the dressing-room, Tuqiri openly apologised to the team and to Norton-Knight saying his passion for winning had boiled over at the end of a frustrating match for the Waratahs.

First of all, this kind of behaviour is not appropriate when done to an opponent.
You can punch them and ruck the skin off their back but ya cannae push guv.
It's just Norton. 'ight?

Secondly, using passion as an excuse....huh?
Hello?
Who's a murderer in the making then eh?

And okay, Norton-Knight is an idiot.
And not just because he left the Brumbies but he sooo cannot shine when the Light of Larkham is on....

He shouldn't have done what he did but he did and it's done.

Yes, the Tahs started out well but the Force, well you know...it's with them...they were on fiyah.

Norton-Knight should have played it safe and let his teammate Peter Hewat kick a guaranteed penalty goal to win the game but a little voice in his head, the Voice of Risk (and is he ruin' it or what???) said....play it once Sam....for old times sake....

You gotta take a chance.
How can you fault the lad for doing that?

I am positive his entire team would have liked to use him for tackling practise or perhaps as bait for vultures but...Rugby people know restraint.

Unlike Mr Thugby League who confuses passion with pushin'.

The Waratahs drew with The Force.

Lote Tuqiri lost it.
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I Can't Rugby Rucked Righting...

March 9th 2007 04:44
I am so not in the mood to read, watch and write Rugby and NO, it's got nothing to with the fact that the Australian Super 14 teams suck are not playing with their usual gusto nor has it got to do with the fact that the Brumbies suck seem to be going through a rough patch and NO...

It's got nothing to do with Stephen Larkham being injured* and therefore unable to play.

....and the sound of porcine wings can be heard fluttering past....


I just can't be rucked.

Although having Larkham on the field makes the game they play in heaven just a little more divine.


This lack of bluster is sooo not right.

I must be coming down with something.

An unwellevator.

This post makes no sense.

No dollars either.

I'm going now.





*There's a rumour going around that maybe Larkham isn't injured...that he may be auditioning for a cameo in 'The Stone Goddess'...hmm...wonder who's doing the casting?...reel me in...
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Super 14: Week 5 Match Schedule.

March 2nd 2007 05:01
...yeah, yeah, yeah...so I missed a few weeks in between...
What? You don't have the Net?


Super 14: Week 5

On your friendly neighbourhood sure-it's-free-as-long-as-you -Pay Channel.

02/03/07 Week 5: Blues v Highlanders (Auckland 5:30pm)
02/03/07 Week 5: Waratahs v Western Force (Sydney 7:30pm)

03/03/07 Week 5: Cheetahs v Chiefs (Bloemfontein 4:00am)

03/03/07 Week 5: Hurricanes v Stormers (Palmerston North 5:00pm)
03/03/07 Week 5: Brumbies v Bulls (Canberra 7:00pm)
03/03/07 Week 5: Reds v Lions (Brisbane 9:00pm)

04/03/07 Week 5: Sharks v Crusaders (Durban 2:00am)


Australian teams highlighted.
Other teams are not.



GO THE BRUMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Excerpts taken from www.sportal.com.au
Smartarse comments taken...well, they're just taken.
Most of this article has Immature Content.

Injured Brumbies playmaker Stephen Larkham has remained upbeat about his side's Super 14 campaign despite a host of injuries ahead of Saturday night's clash with the Bulls.

Larkham even turned news that he will be out of action for three weeks into a positive, suggesting that his sternoclavicular injury was a bittersweet one.

Larkham labelled his injury 'the best-case scenario' after he was cleared of fractures in his upper chest, adding, "It's very good news for me."

Good news? For whom??
...Selfish I tell ya. Plain selfish.

He was also 'hopeful' that he could return sooner than predicted;
"I'm still holding out hope, as I do with every injury," Larkham said.
"But realistically, the doctor is saying three to four weeks, so if I get back in three weeks I'll be happy.

"I've certainly had my fair share of injuries. I suppose I was always inclined to get those injuries because I'm sort of on the smaller side compared to other rugby players."

Which means he's still the size of a mountain, just not Everest.

Larkham showed glimpses of his usual brilliance before suffering the injury in the Brumbies' agonising 11-10 loss to the Hurricanes last weekend, and said his side would bounce back despite being disrupted by injuries.

"I'm very frustrated," he said.
(lucky it's not a groin injury then....)
"But more frustrated with the way we lost the game. This year we've been playing some decent football, but not for eighty minutes...

Larkham is attempting to recover in time for the Brumbies' South African leg of the competition starting with the week seven clash against the Cheetahs in Bloemfontein on March 17.
"We've certainly got a goal this year of winning three games over in South Africa, so I'd love to be part of that," he said.

And because I just can't help myself...

I'm sure DuskDevi would love a part of me to be a part of it too.*

The reason Larkham has to stay positive is because his Brumbies teammates are dropping left, right and centre....
Stirling Mortlock, Captain of the Brumbies(who plays Inside Centre...do you get the pun now?) has been ruled out of the next match, because of the
lingering effects from a high tackle he sustained in the match against the Reds two weeks ago.

Lock Forward Alister Campbell is also out for up to ten weeks and no, this is not due to any key problems.
He's just injured.


*NB. this quote is pure fabrication...based on impure thoughts...
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Not Just A Nose Out Of Joint...

February 26th 2007 16:10
Yeah, yeah. I didn't post the Week 4 Super 14 results...blah, blah...it doesn't matter...

So what if the Australian teams aren't doing so well when normally we dominate this series?
So what if we totally suck and it's Rugby World Cup Year?

It's strategy people.
We're just softening the others for the Bill*....

from ninemsn.com.au

Flyhalf Stephen Larkham is expected to be out of the Brumbies' line-up for three weeks after being cleared of a fracture in his upper chest.

The gifted playmaker suffered a subluxed sternoclavicular joint* during the Brumbies' 11-10 Super 14 loss to the Hurricanes in Wellington on Friday night.

*Translation: shoulder f**ked

A Hurricane landed on him. Literally.
Larkham was at the bottom of a pile-up of Hurricane Forwards, in the closing stages of the first half.
Man that he is, he continued playing but didn't come back for the second half.
That was the end of my pleasure viewing.

He underwent a CT scan on Monday morning that cleared him of any fractures in the joint and hopes to be available to take on the Sharks in Durban on March 24.

"I got tackled by Tana (Umaga), my shoulder was down and it got jammed," he said in a team statement.
"It wasn't particularly painful (at the time) but I knew that something was wrong straight away.
"I'm relieved that the injury's not as serious as it could be.

...because "serious" would be, shoulder really f**ked.

"The challenge now is to do everything that I can to get back as quickly as possible. I don't want to disappoint DuskDevi."

Okay. Maybe that last line is a product of my imagination Switching Hour typing...



*Bill - Rugby World Cup Trophy; The William Webb Ellis Cup
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The $10,000 Ironic Man...

February 23rd 2007 07:34
The saga continues...

A long time ago, actually last week, in a galaxy far far away (the planet that the ARU space cadets come from), it is a period of not so civil war.

It is a dark time for the rebellion, a group of ref-fighters led by Eddie Jones and made up of his many personalities, has established a not so secret base on the remote ice world of New Zealand.
The Rebel Red Leader, striking from a hidden base microphone, has lost against the evil ARU Empire.

...and oh s%#t...gotta go...the Brumbies are playing....it's halftime, we're they're leading, the Hurricanes suck...Larkham (sigh) is brilliant...

from rugbyheaven.smh.com.au

Queensland coach Eddie Jones was last night fined $10,000 by SANZAR and told to make a written apology to referee Matt Goddard following a judicial hearing in Sydney.

Jones was found guilty of a code of conduct breach after he castigated Goddard for his refereeing performance during last Saturday night's Queensland-ACT match in Brisbane.

At the post-match press conference, Jones described Goddard's refereeing of the scrums as "ludicrous", "lacking commonsense", and "outrageous". Jones was just as outspoken during television and radio interviews.

What is funny and I'm sure the irony is completely lost on Eddie...one could describe his tenure as wallabies Coach in exactly this way...

When contacted in Auckland last night, Jones said of the SANZAR fine: "I am very disappointed. I certainly won't be as candid about the game anymore. Because you are passionate about the game, you get canned for it."

Asked if he would appeal, Jones replied: "I wouldn't bother … I'm just going to get on with coaching the Reds."

And more...from the Force...

Earlier, Western Force coach John Mitchell became an unlikely ally for Jones, saying he respected him for the outspoken stand he had taken against referees.

Mitchell said he admired Jones "for his comments, and he is entitled, I believe, to make those comments". "He has shown the nuts to do that, and good on him," Mitchell said.

Mitchell was unimpressed with a "survey system" that called on Super 14 coaches to rank refereeing performances after every game this year. He said he had already filled in three sheets but had not received any feedback. He said the feedback should "happen every week".

Mitchell was also concerned at the level of experience of several touch judges.

Yes, this sounds suspicious but he's referring to the touchline judges.

...gotta go...gotta go...
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