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Rugby Union - by Craig Hill

Stephen Larkham is OK...and going Rambo.

August 2nd 2007 09:10
I know many of you have been extremely concerned about the State of Ankle...
(I'm sorry...what? What do you mean this hardly counts as relevant to world affairs? Hello? Rugby WORLD Cup... )

Me? Oh.
[cue: nonchalant hand wave]
Cool as deep fried ice-cream.

Stephen Larkham aka Demi God, looks down from (the game they play in) heaven... Rucks and Rolls.com (Image courtesy of Getty Images)


....but yes...Larkyum is fine. And preparing to John Rambo himself.

Yes sportsfans...it's 'First IV Blood' time...

excerpts from Fox Sports

The Wallabies are following in the bootsteps of the Australian cricket team and Iraqi National Police Force...no they're not carrying bats....

They're going to Boot Camp.

The squad will undergo a gruelling Survivor-like program put together by the same organisation which took Shane Warne and his teammates right out of their comfort zone before their triumphant series over England last summer.

Which means Warney boy got his mobile taken off him...Yes Shane...this scribe has spoken.

...and the Wallabies may not be going into a war zone, but they are going to war...make no mistake about it...

To prepare them...
they are facing some big sacrifices and hardships.

There will be no coffee machine for George Gregan, skipper Stirling Mortlock will have to do without his beloved iPod and the mobile may have to be surgically removed from the ear of coach John Connolly.

...Tuqiri will have to drink water, Huxley will be without his mirror, the Forwards will be forced to play Back positions and Larkham won't have me his chess set.

It's all cloak and dagger stuff, shrouded in mystery and any other cliche that can adequately describe not knowing what the f**k is going on.
The whole exercise is being run with
military precision.
Apparently...all the squad has been told, is
they will be picked up "from the mainland" at Ballymore some time on Sunday morning.

Five-eighth Steve Larkham didn't know what to expect over the following five days.
"A few boys have said that I am pretty smart getting this ankle injury," Larkham said.

"I'm certainly looking forward to it, anything where there is a challenge involved I enjoy that sort of stuff.
"It's just a matter of what they are going to put us through."

Larkham was heard saying to a teammate sotto voce, that if DuskDevi was going to be part of the Challenges, he would gla...nah...dash it...can't finish this..it's just too absurd....

All sorts or rumours have been flying around the squad about what will be inflicted upon them.

...there is no truth to the rumour that they'll be forced to read Rucks and Rolls posts...

"A lot of stuff has been thrown out there about sleep deprivation and food strikes so we'll wait and see what happens," Larkham said. "It's a bit exciting at the moment just to speculate what is going to happen."

Did someone say ambush?

BLP, the company responsible for this lunacy, has been "liaising" with Wallabies management for the past two months - including using individual player profiles - to put together a "specific program".

Individual player profiles eh?

Which means Larkham will be asked to solve complex mathematical equations while having to get 2 Rubik Cube's in perfect order within 30 seconds. Blindfolded.

Tuqiri will be asked to think of a letter betwen A and C.

It has also been tailored to ensure the players don't lose weight and the risk of injury is minimised.
"What we are trying to achieve is to put the guys together in situations which are a bit stressful," assistant Wallabies coach Michael Foley said.

Foley said while people perceive those camps to be physically grinding, that was not the focus.
"It is to actually challenge guys mentally and put them in situations where they have to resolve things together," Foley said.

"The hope is that shared hardship, which is more a mental rather than a physical thing, will be a good growing experience," he said.

"Having a bit of an insight into the camp I can't help but have a bit of a smile knowing what the boys are going to go through."

Sadistic bastard. No, Michael Foley did not contact me.



article courtesy of Fox Sports
image courtesy of Getty Images


************

I am currently unable to answer comments.

I am bushwalking...

Thank you for persevering reading.



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Comments
2 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by KylieW

August 3rd 2007 07:37
Tuqiri will be asked to think of a letter betwen A and C.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Comment by Tracy

August 3rd 2007 13:18
Phew, what a relief, Dusk. Now you can breathe again,

Tracy

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