Oracle of DelphiWrought Irony #1: Post Feast (fa)Minefield.
January 4th 2007 14:55
Um...I may get tackled for writing this because yes, I did say I'd stick to doing what I do best, drooling over Stephen Larkham (I save the salivating for my husband. Gee. Lucky him.)and occasionally writing a post about what this blog is about....
(...is it too late to rename it Larkyum.com?...)
BUT...I'm a bit shy of 6 foot. And I'm on my soapbox now.
Okay...so today...I was drooling over a slice of succulent, tangy, tart and sweet lemon pie and it was making it's sweet, succulent, tarty way to my mouth...damn...this is getting pornographic...
Something stopped me.
No it wasn't the Puritans. Twas something worse.
Twas a slice of good ol' guilt. Rack-ing me with doubt.
Making me think twice about sliding that sweet, succulent, tangy, thick, lovely slice of heaven in my mouth...Yes. It was public fel-lemon-atio.
Annnyyywayyyy...No contest really.
The choice was a lemon tree Watson.
(You know Sherlock never actually said that in the books....)
I must say this...I have no body issues (That's two words) and...
There is a point to this post.
I spent a fair chunk of time bitching about this to friends via every medium possible. Now I’m here. Spreading the love. Whoops...shouldn’t have said that....you'll understand what and why soon...because there is a point to this post and I will be getting to it...post haste...
Apparently January is the season to be sorry.
December being the reason.
I was literally rack-ed with guilt. Magazine racked.
Magazine racks full of magazines. Womens magazines.
Have you visited your friendly neighbourhood newsagency lately? Or any place that sells magazines? Have you looked at the covers of these magazines? Womens magazines?
They spent all of December telling us to eat, drink and be merry and now...NOW...it's eat and drink celery. And only celery because now...NOW...we're all palooka (technical word) pigs, having gorged ourselves silly...nay...stupid on all that Christmas cheer and spirit (copious amounts of Gin and Champagne in my case...).
I mean...cue Lleyton Hewitt!!
(That would be...come on!!)
Every single one of these magazines espouse the Power of Womanhood...you too can be a real one, just like our 12yo airbrushed models...and nothing against 12yo airbrushed models because I'm all for airbrushing...eet's what ze Frrench ladeez do wiz zair air, wan 'undred strrokes every day....
Can you tell that DDH is away and that I'm writing this in The Switching Hour?
All these womens magazines that hitherto inundated us in December with Carpe Diem are now screaming at us to Carpe Diet.
Go and look for yourselves. Dare to compare the hypocrisy with the hyperbole.
I am completely and utterly shocked, disgusted and appalled.
I'm also mad.
In December we celebrate and spread the love, the butter, the table, our worth.
In January we're berated for the spread of our girth.
Feast then famine.
It's a minefield of mixed messages.
It's a society wrought with irony.
...and there really was a point to this post....but I think I left it somewhere...
(...is it too late to rename it Larkyum.com?...)
BUT...I'm a bit shy of 6 foot. And I'm on my soapbox now.
Okay...so today...I was drooling over a slice of succulent, tangy, tart and sweet lemon pie and it was making it's sweet, succulent, tarty way to my mouth...damn...this is getting pornographic...
No it wasn't the Puritans. Twas something worse.
Twas a slice of good ol' guilt. Rack-ing me with doubt.
Making me think twice about sliding that sweet, succulent, tangy, thick, lovely slice of heaven in my mouth...Yes. It was public fel-lemon-atio.
Annnyyywayyyy...No contest really.
The choice was a lemon tree Watson.
(You know Sherlock never actually said that in the books....)
I must say this...I have no body issues (That's two words) and...
There is a point to this post.
I spent a fair chunk of time bitching about this to friends via every medium possible. Now I’m here. Spreading the love. Whoops...shouldn’t have said that....you'll understand what and why soon...because there is a point to this post and I will be getting to it...post haste...
Apparently January is the season to be sorry.
December being the reason.
I was literally rack-ed with guilt. Magazine racked.
Magazine racks full of magazines. Womens magazines.
Have you visited your friendly neighbourhood newsagency lately? Or any place that sells magazines? Have you looked at the covers of these magazines? Womens magazines?
They spent all of December telling us to eat, drink and be merry and now...NOW...it's eat and drink celery. And only celery because now...NOW...we're all palooka (technical word) pigs, having gorged ourselves silly...nay...stupid on all that Christmas cheer and spirit (copious amounts of Gin and Champagne in my case...).
I mean...cue Lleyton Hewitt!!
(That would be...come on!!)
Every single one of these magazines espouse the Power of Womanhood...you too can be a real one, just like our 12yo airbrushed models...and nothing against 12yo airbrushed models because I'm all for airbrushing...eet's what ze Frrench ladeez do wiz zair air, wan 'undred strrokes every day....
Can you tell that DDH is away and that I'm writing this in The Switching Hour?
All these womens magazines that hitherto inundated us in December with Carpe Diem are now screaming at us to Carpe Diet.
Go and look for yourselves. Dare to compare the hypocrisy with the hyperbole.
I am completely and utterly shocked, disgusted and appalled.
I'm also mad.
In December we celebrate and spread the love, the butter, the table, our worth.
In January we're berated for the spread of our girth.
Feast then famine.
It's a minefield of mixed messages.
It's a society wrought with irony.
...and there really was a point to this post....but I think I left it somewhere...
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Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
did i say girth? i meant mirth...
yeah COME ON!! VENEZ SUR
~Lily
6am-ish
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
I can't last 100 strokes.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Spread the love...any which way but loose!
There was a dearth of sanity writing this...I mean...cue Lleyton...twas 2am...
Aujourd'hui. ...c'est un grand jour...c'est vendredi!!
beaucoup mirth on earth...
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Different strokes for different fff....olks.
Nice to see you BloggMan.
Double D
CRASIO.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Cue Littleboy Lleyton, it's an unfair playing field.
It's how Ita got her name over the holiday season.
Or was it that Britney-style tattoo?
What's the word on Lotti?
Norm.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Ita's post? Eerie...er...A rose on any other dame...The oppothite of fell. A womans weekly circulation.
Behold...Lo teed off.
Latest news; not fit to fly...seriously, he just got sent home for not being match fit.
The Wallabies are in a 3 day World Cup ("this is what it looks like, now go get it..") Training camp in Canberra.
Tis the Norm.
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
You listen to that station?
Comment by David my David
Um, are you related to Kristy Malthouse by any chance?
(Do you have contacts, like are you connected, hooked up with those in charge of the World? The Grace Bros removalists and Parkinson’s-disease milk-shakers of this Globe?) Jodie Foster comes to mind [often]. In my dreams? My dreams of rain? (In two movies: Spike Lee’s The Inside Man and Silence of the Lambs) … I can smell your post! You are a magnificent post?!
I love women sports commentators and journos … their ability to FOCUS, on things outside the sport? Fashion, Glossy Magazines, female body beauty obsessions, food, wine consumer shop-till-you-drop issues, etc … Now there’s a journo for you. Thank God they pissed the men off who only ever talked about sport. ***
Ahhhh, riding the boundary constructed of wrought-iron(y) fence posts, wearing one of Watson’s designer-label Yellow Manta Ray hooded raincoats …and using a single-scoop French vanilla ice cream cone stolen from Edith Piaf mid-lick mid singing in the wet-hair rain, for a microphone. (Singing, dancing, singing … oblivious to the game going on behind them? …
(contorts hand into barking-dog/swan-shadow-on-the-wall shape, points it at your head) Barks, Woof Woof Bark Howl Growl and Grrrrrrr, and SCREAMS … COME! C’MON ONNN! LAY-IT-ON YOU WIT!
Btw. Didn’t get a word of it.
David ...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Btw...WTF...O...Ttf...GF....no...FM...eee...kristy?
Comment by David my David
As if it wasn't bad enough looking at your Post, without having to look at more inanity, banality, triviality and insanity in the comments section. And you call yourself a writer? ***
David ...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
If it walks like a ruck, and talks like a ruck... must be a right...er...sporting term.
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Spread that girth, I say. Spread that girth. Mine is constantly spreading ... wider and wider and wider ...
Hang on, this has nothing to do with SL and you still managed to mention him ... in the first sentence, no less. You must tell me that story one day ...
Cara xxxx
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
May your girth continue to spread...til the birth...
Then you'll pop!
The champagne ie (...as well..!)
Cara...when one is good at something, one does it as often as possible...it's that simple.
much love my MOSTEST UnLtd sis
Dusk
Comment by David my David
Too much subtextual inter-bi-woman activity on this site for me ...
I'll come back one day ...
If you ever do a post about sport.***
David ...
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I love the hypocrisy of womens mags, who on one page tell you how supermodels aren't real women and we don't want to look that skinny. Next page, cue the bad pics of celebs who may have gained half a pound (and still weigh less than most healthy 12 year olds) and they're laughing about bloated celebs.
Even Mariah Carey admitted on Oprah that on one of her cd covers, her legs looked chunky, so she had the photographers stretch her so she looked better.
Ahh, if only we could all have a personal airbrusher follow our every move..........
KylieW
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
I need therapy.
No. I need [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]...then all will be well.
Womens mags are the worst thing women could read.
I used to love 'em, the glossy ones...cannot read them anymore.
Contradiction at every turn of the page.
I just want an airbrusher PMS days.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Christ....that's it. I'm going to actually do some work for a change. I'm not allowed back on the internet for the next half an hour.
Eh, who am I kidding. It's Friday....I'm not going to do anymore work today.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Pre and Post Dec-adent-ember
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
I am going to sue Orble.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
It was a compliment...sorry, sorry, sorry...
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
god i love fridays... amour vendredi après-midis mieux
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Oh My God...at the gym I go to once a year, some of these people...I swear...they work out for 23 hours before they come for their hour at the gym...every day.
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
sorry but that just CRACKED ME UP ...
do i need coffee? do i need more coffee? i think i need coffee!
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Honestly, I'm mesmerised by them as I'm wiping sweat out of my eyes, dropping weights on my foot and swearing about how much I hate exercise!
A friends mum once told me her theory on exercise:
Basically, your heart only has so many beats in it before it essentially runs out of batteries. According to her, if you exercise and increase your heart rate, you're just using up your available beats that much more quickly.
I love that theory.
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
..totally off subject [well probably not totally...] perhaps just a tad to the left of it .. I've picked up on the gym thread here and this time I really feel a need to aqdd words to points...
about the gym ... where to start ... oh don't get me started ... for the record?
I would rather kiss a cats butt than go to the gym!
There are plenty of other ways to ework-out, that's e-work not an ewokworkout, btw ... *giggle* although that may burn a few calories?
I went once in my early thirties, to the gym and ended up at the chiropractor getting my back put back where it belonged... and burned huge amounts of insence to get the smell of stale, air-conditioned sweat out of my nostrils ... cost me a fortune!
personalised workout? ... pah! The service on my car is more personalised Penny.
And the cost per kilo?
not going to go there at all ... not that I have that many to spare [kilos that is] ... but the one's I have got are hard won, involving many hours of previous resistance to temptation - not worth that much!
Besides the sexiest distance between two points?
...A curve...
If you can't loose it at home, you're doing it all wrong, I say ...
As for magazines?
I never read them, don't support crap ... I'm a human, not a brindle fly!
Ha, thank you for being today's soap box post of the day Dusk, I just got back from grocery shopping and really needed to vent it, vent it, work it, vent it ... until the wine starts to mellow it out all out a little ... aaah, looks like its already working...
Much Piyar to you my Dusky Devi, and as with all goddesses - May the Fudge Be With You!
Lilla...
ps as you know I'm not a funny shaped ball coin-essuer of any shape or form, but I must say I'm now going to consciously go and find a picture on Google of the S.L. now and see what all this melting fudge is about?.,mJGRTSAUv OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [oops, sorry that's my kitty on the keyboard, time for her dinner!]
Comment by Nina
As a teen, I learnt to be careful who I was around when I ranted about this though - apparently some people seem to think that because I am naturally very slim it invalidates my opinion on the issue... but that is a tirade for another day...
And Dusk, you're just shy of 6 foot? Wow, you stand tall both figuratively and literally. I'm glad we met online, because in real life I'm not sure if you would be able to see me all the way down here...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Our space, our time...absolute concepts.
~Lily love...I'm going with you on that one too.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Not off subject at all. Just right off the left.
I have to admit I do go the gym, you know once a year (there goes ~Lily...hope she's on le vin rouge now...), to a boxing or dance class and when I do this annual illgramige (not a typo), I go in the mornings...the Mummy Zone...no poseurs, no hotpants, no buff bodies, no games...although yes, there is the occasional cosmetic department walking ad.
Ohhhh don't get me started on Personal Trainers. And ohhhh don't get me started on Boot Camp...hell-o? People pay to get yelled at??
My kids get it for free...
Kidding!
Sort of...
This soapbox was stood on with the intention of sharing.
Vent-ilation.
Thanks for coming by LL...
Dusky D
I'm sorry LL...I cannot resist this...
...um...a feline-y most crass...
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
i'm not into the regime of exercise... ok fatties, first the bikes, then the tready, then the tramp, then run run run, then some weights, then .... ahhh pffft... give me a walk up my steep hill and back anyday... natural exercise walking with the beauty... oh and maybe a boyfriend with regular sec-onds to waste..
~Lily
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
It may take me a couple days to get your joke - I'm not UP on all THAT ... you know ... sub text stuff, I'm sure it'll be funny when I do though...
thanks for the laugh in advance...
caio,
... enjoyed the post.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
I did read somewhere about how petite you are Ninabelle and I must admit, that took me by surprise...you sound tall.
Is that weird?
Is that how you spell wierd? We need spellcheck here.
I understand what you're saying.
Two sides of the coin...I mean...eg. Kylie's post about Jessica Alba - apparently Jessica thinks she's curvy, most of us think she's way thin, she felt self concious standing next to her model co-star, blah, blah, Alblah!
It saddens me to know that this girl feels she needs to say things like this to validate her body and the work she does to maintain it.
To make other women feel better about their bodies.
By no stretch of the imagination can Jessica Alba be called voluptuous...she has a stunning body but not a perfect body because no such thing exists.
Perfection is in the I of the individual.
As far as I am concerned I have the perfect body because it's my body.
This is not arrogance. This is acceptance.
It's the only body I am going to have. Naturally. And in this lifetime.
There's no point wishing I had Elle Macpherson's body (well...) because that's her body. And what a body it is. Damn.
Do you understand what I mean?
I'm not saying I have a perfect body.
I'm saying my body is perfect because it's mine.
I'm not going to waste my time turning it in to something that is is not.
But yeah. PMS. It's a critic.
But you know what they say about critics...they speak because they have to, not because they've got something to say.
Does that make sense?
Well...I'm not quite 6' Nina...that's my one 'body w-issue' thing...I'm 3 inches off it.
See...I understand this, what you're saying about being petite and having to curb your opinion on the body issue...because to a person not my height I'm tall...and I wish I was taller. Totally envious of the six footers.
Even though I'm considered tall I'm teeny in comparison to rugby players...they are giants! Titans! Wallabies! My husband is a huge man, I come up to his chin and my shoulder width is smaller than his chest!
But thank you Ninabelle for what you say and oh Lawdy sister...I may be on a (permanent) soapbox but my head is not in the clouds.
I'm a rugby-ite see.
Rugby teaches this...equality.
The I is always on the ball. The ball is always grounded.
Dusk
Sheesh. Why do I always do this to you Ninabelle? Write a reply comment longer than my bloomin' post!
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by David my David
I was going to post a response to your last comment to me ...
but I got swamped and lost in your popularity ... ***
How do you do it without graphics? ... Or brown-nosing sycophantic behaviour?
End up #1 ... ??? ... ***
And over and above that ... Without even mentioning sport? ...
David ...
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
I see your skill with puns is getting better. Also nice to have a voice approaching that of sanity on here.
JZ
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Yeah...I've been in training...pun-ishing regime... it's a form of wit (or shady) voxing... continuous right jabs at a pun-ching bag... phew...spun out... punch drunk...
I'm like an alien space craft JZ...always approaching sanity, never quite landing!
Thank you buddy. It is always good to see you.
Dusk
(I was having some problems logging in to Orble, I had tried to leave comments on your posts but couldn't do it, will have to re visit your 'Star Wars' post soon)
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
Please, stop the pun-ishment! I cannae take any more!
Looking forward to when you come back Dusk.
JZ
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Hello my lovely Dusk,
Loving this post.....loving it!!!!!!!!
As I sit here, 5 kilos heavier than before Christmas...
But, oh. Food gorging and drinking pink champagne like it was water...
(Isn't it water????)
...That was all so much fun. Not to mention those strawberry candy canes, the triple-layer jelly cups with custard, the roast pork and roast potatoes....the creamy pasta salads....
(Oh, give me Christmas back!! I'm missing you already)
Now I just need to exercise....and exercise....and exercise so more...
(Only because my airbrusher is out of town for the next month or so)
And KylieW...are you sure you haven't seen me at the gym?? I swear you were describing me....
(I'm the fantastically colour-coordinated woman that doesn't break out into sweat....I am sooo kidding. I meant the sweating, foot-broken from dropping the weight on it, then swearing loud enough to have even the muscle bound guys who are only checking themselves out in the mirror look at you...)
K.L.
xooxo
Comment by David my David
Dear, e-NORM-ous ... Darling ... Honey ... Baby ...
I've having a few problems with my computer at the moment. Windows keep swapping and changing on me. I sure hope this gets to your private email address.
If it doesn't, can you let me know you didn't receive it, and I'll send it again, okay?
When computers go like this? It just reminds me that I'm not a woman, and can't multi task. I'd never admit that in public.
Certain women have enough problems with their 'superiority complexes' and 'high-horse pedestal' and 'arrogantly humble' attitudes as it is. I'm not mentioning any names either, not even in a private email. I don't trust this net at all.
Anyway, I really enjoyed the pics you sent me of you naked. And don't worry, I won't let anyone know that you're gay, e-NORM-ous, okay? Your secret is safe with me.
I'll tell you the ones I enjoyed most. e-NORM-ous ... I love typing your name e-NORM-ous ... saying it? even better ... you should hear how I said it this morning in the bathroom ... It's about the only word I utter nowadays ... e-NORMOUUUUUUUUSSSSS!
When I come
back from the bathroom?
I'm sort of okay for a couple of minutes ... but then it's just on again ...
When I'm in the bathroom? ... I just keep repeating e-NORM-ous over and over again ... This is more than love ... It's beyond love ...
I'll use the titles you put on your pics, just in case something stuffs up on the information superhighway and someone else reads this by accident.
That one you called 'Piss-Take' WHOAH! ... I would have called that tease ...
I don't want to detract from every other pic you sent me either of you naked or clothed Norm. I mean I get off on all of them, a fair few times a day too by the way, but that pic? WHOAH. OMFG! There's just something of you in that pic that just sends me into a COMD frenzy ...
Can't wait to meet you man, and we can get down and dirty, slap a bit of skin-on-skin, man ... skin-in-skin even, e-NORM-ous ... your arse is not safe ... forget about the other parts of your delicious body ... worry about your arse ... second and third foremostly ... your mouth? secondary to me ... your arse ... foremostly thrice ... thrice over though ... I've got a peculiar fetish that is not a mouth and arse fetish with a man ... but I can't put that on here ... Let's just call it my No. #1 Fetish okay? And leave it at that ...
I do like to have the flip-side pic showing at the same time ... Today , and you are such a dog Norm... (btw I LOVE dogs] ... and your face ... that morning shot you sent of me? it's the face of an angel man ... I swear ... actually, if I had a bigger screen, I'd put the whole lot of them up at once instead of just three or four at a time ... but I'm struggling enough as it is every time I just look at any of them ... Norm. Your arse? I swear man, that is the best arse I have ever seen. Your legs? WHOAH! Every square inch of your body e-NORM-ous ... Seriously man ... I'M OFF THE PLANET ON YOU!!!
And don't tell anyone I'm gay. And I wont tell anyone you are, okay?
A bIG tonguey and tongue-lashing in your piss-take PIC Norm. Just imagine I have my tongue thrust down your 'throat' okay ... licking your 'tonsils' ... Oh before I forget ... there's this really great book by a Chinese writer ... Na forget it ... tell you when I see you ... show you even ... I trust you Norm. As much as you trust me. No-one will ever see these pics Norm. No-one will ever know you sent them to me. I only look at them when I'm alone. Not even my mum sees them, okay?
Oh, this whole phone bizzo. Sure ... Catch you tomorrow man ...
And don't forget to let me know if you didn't receive this man, okay ...
God I miss you when you're not around NORM ... I've done a pretty good job this weekend of holding it all together ... mainly due to the pics man ...
I love you NORM ... big time ... I don't just love you. I'm in love 'with' you ... xxx ... *
David ...
xxx ...
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
dAvid,
your words are the seamen in my sub, the ducky in my bathtub, the drum and bass in my dub; you sound like you need a good rub, we can sit down to some grub and you can take the caps of my hub.
I must say I found your new pics a little confusing.
Sitting on a Religious Festival Icon's naked knee?
What you can do with a cricket bat is beyond words.
Sitting under the tree with your new bike was the best by far, but you have a mole on your inner left cheek. You might want to get that checked out.
Your discretion in all this sordidness is appreciated.
Norm.
Comment by David my David
Thanks for responding via my private email addy ... I was so worried this would get into a public domain ...
Imagine if some women saw this on their blogs?
Your words? I Beat-les myself to your words like I've got my own Yellow Submarine in my hand ... I get by with a little help from my palms?
I feel a Malcolm McLaren 'duck rock' thingy coming on here ... re-mixed and digitally remastered of course ... in a frotteurish rub of the sound mixer knobs type of way ... just a finger-and-thumb pinch? of the head mixer?
Re my pics. I wanted to send you a pic to portray how much I get off on religious festivals ... I thought you would have got it???
My sporting pics? They were a comprehensive pictorial exposition of the rules of cricket. Caught behind ... again? ... Run out ... of semen. At least we get a second innings in a Test Match? Third man ... (we're just waiting for the others to turn up?) .... Slips .... (in and out?) ... Twelfth Man (only a few dozen more and we've got a real gay orgy happening?) Howzat? ... Had better? ...
As to checking out my moles? I don't even ring them anymore ... I swapped teams, remember?
Your discreet lover, arse-fucker, crack-licker and nipple biter ...
David ...
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by David my David
The best thing about writing to you via your PRIVATE email address?
I can slam you ...
(not in the way I'd love to slam you ... into the wall that is ... get you on all fours and go doggy with you ...
But seriously ... this business of sleeping with men ... What do you get off on? The sound of their breath as they sleep ...
Wake them up man ... in the best possible way ... okay ...
Boy I'm going to have to educate you when we catch up ... (only as long as you teach me a few things as well ...
Okay ?
David ...
Dusk? She's going to read all this shit ... and go ...
You guys!
Do you mind!
This is a rubgy site ...
Well, the minute she puts up one post about rugby ... I guess we might stop all this shit and dribble ...
I'll take a stab at what she's doing today, okay?
She's be out buying real sports magazines and plagiarising them ... then putting the words verbatim in her posts and pretending she's a real sports writer ...
Shit ... I'm in the shit now ...
Oh, well, I blame her ... She's the one that said 'Write unedited.' ***
Way too funny now ...
Hey ... let's just cancel our blogs and just post on this one, shall we? ***
David ...
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I do all the sleeping, I don't know what they do in that time. We go out for some bacardi and I wake up with all these strange men in my joint.
Norm.
Comment by David my David
I remember reading quite a few biographies on Jeffrey Dahmer ... (the serial killer ... ) ... He used to drug his 'boyfriends' .... so they wouldn't know what he got up to with them while they were sleeping ...
One of them? While he was sleeping? Dahmer got a drill out ... drilled a couple of holes into his skulll ... poured acid into this skull. Why? He wanted to keep this man all to himself ...
So anyway ... enough about serial killers ... Just going to Bunnings to pick up a drill ... and some battery acid ... (and if they don't have any? I'll pick up some LSD acid on the streets of Adelaide ) ...
And see you tomorrow ??? *********************
David ...
Comment by David my David
Na, forget it ... I'll get back to you ...
***
Comment by David my David
Na ... forget it ...
(Pity all these repeat comments don't count for votes ...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Well...the water was turned to wine....
So who are we to complain? That would be sham pain. When all we want is true pleasure.
You know what....they never thank their airbrushers when accepting the Oscar/Emmy/Grammy/Ninny...
"...oh wow...this was so unexpected but this is a speech I prepared yesterday....it's great to be just nominated but take that suckers...I'd like to thank the Academy for taking my bribe...I mean, voting for 'Breaking My Tribe', fantastic movie, they couldn't have done it without me...I'd like to thank my make-up artists for applying tsunami-proof mascara and also for the sfx eyedrops...sob...oh I'm such a good actor...."
Um...Cherry...I've been drinking a lot of 'water' today. Feeling very hmmm...hydrated...full of oxygen...that's what those bubbles are right?
"the triple-layer jelly cups with custard"... oh yeah, I remember this....
much love my beYOUtiful Cherry....
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Better late than December!
Happy Holiday and Happy 2007.
Thanks for coming by Ash.
Dusk.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
This is a grrrRugby site.
Not GayFL.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by David my David
Until you wise us up on subtext ... I have no idea what GayFL means ...
I'll take a couple of stabs ... (okay a few ...
I know a woman called Gail Bait (I guess it could have been a major typo! WHOAH! Red rag to a bull that one! ...
Gail Bait? ... Na forget it ...
Sorry wetting Norm's pants too much ...
Um, Gayful (another typo? ... ***
Yup. I love punishment ... Yup!!!
Not Yum!!! (Although punishment is Yum !!!
Um? ...Another typo? You meant to type Blow-FLy?
Better stop now ... I'm not that much into punishment ...
Yet ...
Not signing this ...
Don't want you to know who sent it okay? ...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Switching teams again?
From GayFL to bassketball....
By the way...rugby...more than one post...it's a big playing field.
David. Darling.
major
Comment by David my David
Comment by Sandi
Those bitches can kiss my girthy ass.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Sorry Sandi...that's the one thing womens magazines don't tell us how to do in the bedroom!
You know...what if...I mean, what if...womens magazines were actually run by Stepford Wife types??
Hmmm....explains a lot...
Thanks for coming by Sandi.
DuskDevi
Comment by Sisi
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
lemon pie is ok.
Cherry pie? Sublime! mmm-hmmm....
In fact, nearly every pie is preferable to lemon, I'd say, even the twisted strawberry-rhubarb.
Sweet potato pie? Hell yeah.
As you can tell, I can go on and on about pie.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Um...that's a spittle bit gross!
Cibby...
I believe this is called pie-romania!
Cherry Pie brings back memories of 'Twin Peaks'.... what Agent Cooper loved and the knots Audrey Horne tied...
I like strawberry rhubarb....buried underneath a mountain of ice-cream and cream. The only way to eat fruit.
Thanks for coming by guys.
Dusk